Arghh what to do for career

[sahxox]

Hey guys
I'm about to finish school (17 days left!) and need to find a part-time job to save some money before uni and a career. When I began at my new school, it took me 6 months to make friends and I hardly spoke to anyone, earning me the affectionate connatation as being a mute (lol) which still resonates slightly today. I really despise it and it makes me worried that the exact same thing will happen again!! I have gotten alot better at 1:1 conversations etc. but it's group work that my social phobia really kicks in. Not meaning to be arrogant but I get really good marks at school and it's frustrating, because my sa is holding me back from even asking questions in class, so it's a wonder what I'd be if I could reach my full potential. It is so frustrating! I want to do law, but looks like thats the polar opposite to my current social capabilities. It's really sad, cos around friends/family, I'm the confident leader who sorta makes the rules and everyone respects. Yet generally in public, I'm subservient/timid. It sucks.
Aaaaand I have 1 month to do uni applications. I like the idea of nursing; looking after other people (which I wouldnt feel intimidated around if I was looking after them), however I have been frequently critised as shooting below my capabilities, not that there is ANYTHING wrong with nursing, as all the nurses I have met are lovely, caring, sensible and generally intelligent people. Maybe I'm just surrounded by snobs haha idk... I just hate the classroom environment, and the notion of being called on by teacher/surrounded by extroverts who bring me down further by making me ask 'why can't I be like that?' I feel inferior even though I'm not...

 

[Fanden]

Hello there.

There's nothing wrong in being a quite. You're probably not the only one. I know it sucks not having anyone to talk to in school. I also find it difficult in the beginning, but then slowly I start talking to people and then it gets easier.

You seem smart and I'm sure you can go for whatever job you want the most. Maybe you should try to become a lawyer, since it seems like that would be the most challenging for you? That could really help you fight your SA. It's going to be hard, but worth it.

Besides that I can relate a lot to you. I never ask anything in class. Afraid of sounding stupid. And I hate groupwork because of the pressure.

Anyhow, good luck and see you around.

 

[vitalis]

I kind of felt the same way around your age, and was insecure about what to do because of the environment.

You sound like you are decided to do it, but anyway I'd encourage you strongly to abandon any desire to avoid the university at all, and learn to find some way to get along with the social part of it. You say you have enough capacity to study (what you choose it is a matter entirely of yourself), so don't mess it up, even if I completely understand how you feel at the moment. Don't lose this opportunity because of concerns for "the others", people that you probably are not going to see in the rest of your life after this period.

Look, I did not go to the univ because of this, but now I'm 25 and I kind of regret and have to put a lot of work to recover all this time of my life I wasted. You see, it's a matter entirely of your personal concern, no schoolmate will care later if you can't find a job because you have no studies and all. They call you the mute? Well, don't let it affect you, just play with that. Form yourself a personality based on that and other positive issues you have and people will simply respect you and your shyness will start diminishing severely.

So please just focus those weeks on what to choose. That's a matter of putting all the things you can do and discarting, if like you sound you don't have a very clear vocation. And good luck with your job finding, BTW!

 

[sahxox]

Wow thanks for the responses
It's amazing to know that there are actually other people in the world who unfortunately experience the similiar difficulties of SA - sometimes you think you're the only one.
I particularly like the advice that no other classmate will be affected whether you do or do not have an education/job - it almost suggests the eerie reminiscence between social anxiety and narcissism... Atleast we have the awareness to change it.

 

[vitalis]

Wow thanks for the responses
It's amazing to know that there are actually other people in the world who unfortunately experience the similiar difficulties of SA - sometimes you think you're the only one.
I particularly like the advice that no other classmate will be affected whether you do or do not have an education/job - it almost suggests the eerie reminiscence between social anxiety and narcissism... Atleast we have the awareness to change it.

Yes, some of us may be too much focused on ourselves, that's a good point. In a too individualistic society with so much opportunities to enclose and isolate may exacerbate this behaviors and this kind of extreme shyness has plenty of room to appear. But we want to improve, at least that what we strive to do. Of course we are talking here about mild and behaviorally acquired types of SA, not about other mental illness or unbalances, that's an entirely different story.

So when you know which path to take just let us know!

 

[Section_31]

You dont necesarily need to decide on a career riht this second....when i graduated highschool i was scared ****eless and drifted for a few yrs just working various jobs while i thought about what i wanted.

Are you in a rush to get to uni? or is family pressuring you?

 

[sahxox]

I'm the youngest person in my grade by a long shot and having a year off would probably be the smart thing to do However applications need to be in for uni in 2 weeks so then atleast I get the option to defer.
My family is supportive and do not mind what I do, however I think it is almost the broadness of this that causes my confusion lol
I think my Mum would love for me to do law, however I explain the issue of anxiety. She really tries to understand but unless you are truly affected, to grasp the impact of 'social phobia' on ones life is impossible. I think that I will put nursing down as preference one (don't know if you guys are aussie or not, but the Tertiary Admission Rank (ATAR) is only 50, which is really really low so does not convey the pretentiousness some may hope for ) I think I have a natural inclination to want to go to uni straight away, so my future is definite with a sense of security. 3 of my friends are actually going to that uni next year... this is a stupid reason to base my future on, but as you guys probably know, making new friends can be difficult. :S Anyway, I think I might just put down all the courses I'm remotely interested in - nursing, law/psychology, occupational therapy - and see what I end up with.. Maybe leave a year to work on my anxiety and see if my attitudes have changed