Are you very defensive?

[upndwn]

I used to be really defensive when my SA was at its worst. I can still be offensive if someone gives me really personal remarks, especially if it someone I don't know very well.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Not overly, I don't think...
I'm paranoid but don't really freak out about things as much as get hurt feelings and hide under my bed. haha

 

[doubleM]

not bad. if someone criticizes my shirt or something ill just say something like "your mom bought it for me". but if someone backstabs me i get pissed.

 

[krs2snow]

Yes, I'm highly defensive, too. And like you, I can't hide it....once someone hurts me/insults me....anger seeps out of my pores. There will be no controlling it. And once you hurt me, all bets are off...I will have no problem giving in right back to you in a more concentrated form. I may have said this to you before...but it sounds like you may just be a highly sensitive person. If you google 'highly sensitive person' you will see we are not alone. And while, like you, I thought that me being hypersensitive to criticism was from a lifetime filled with neglect and criticism, it is believed that it is a inherited trait.

There are good and bad things to being highly sensitive. The good include: we have wonderful imaginations, we are curious, we are creative and intuitive. You already know what the bad includes.

Pulitzer Prize winner Pearl S Buck once wrote:

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:

A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him... a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.

Having the innate trait of high psychological sensitivity is often confused with social anxiety. In fact, I often wonder whether I truly have social anxiety or if my being highly sensitive does not allow me to function in a socially 'normal" way. I'm going with the latter.

Great post

 

[coyote]

where do all you people live that complete strangers would hurl insults at you for doing simple, ordinary things?

seriously, this has never happened to me

 

[Inferiorpotter]

Story of my life. I completely agree with you on "don't know how to say and react to those things" Yes. it is as if you are not manly enough if you respond back with anger. It is as if you're losing and being weak if you respond to those sarcastic "putting down"
In my case, I always internalize and just laugh it off outside. I come home and sit down alone in the dark. Think about it for hours and hours saying to myself "What makes them think I am so easy to disrespect and put down? What part of me seems so EASY to be looked down upon? What went wrong? What could I have done better to avoid that situation? If I was a more powerful man like a head of the FBI or a head of CIA, would that person dare have said that to me? After all they look down on me and think I am easy to disrespect becaus I am not a really successful and powerful man. Yes, it's all my fault."

 

[Srijita52]

I'm not defensive in general but I can be preety defensive when it comes to my SA.I was also bullied in middle & highschool,9th & 10th grade were hell!I witnessed all sorts of bullying-verbal,non-verbal,name calling,emtional everything.It became so extreame that I was even afraid to go to school,I had only one friend & she left me to join the popular crowd.I felt so lonely...I was so depressed I'd cry almost every night.Finally when I changed High school in junior year I decided to forgive them & move on.Things r better now bt ppl still make comments about how shy & nervous I am.I still can't take criticism bt I'm trying to be more relaxed about it,I'm also trying to improve my condition,bt its not that easy right?

 

[Minty]

Yes, and I'm good at hiding it. I hide.

 

[MrJones]

Not really... I'm never sure if something is a joke or they're trying to insult me and, to be honest, I don't really care.

 

[mikebird]

It's impossible to know if people are hurtful or friendly / humorous in their comments. It winds me up.

It's led me to a very defensive / aggressive nature, when I started as a sweet, little cottonwoolled boy, causing me to lead a hopeless, unsuccessful, rejected life.

This will increase, and spiral into a suicidal outlook