SilverSorrow
Member
I'm unable to work because of my SA / SP issues. I haven't worked in a very long time.
Are you unable to work because of your SA or SP ?
- Thread starter SilverSorrow
- Start date
PhantomPod
Well-known member
I work full time now. I have been doing alright, but I still have been having pretty terrible anxiety and have been so self-conscious. I have been working there for two months now and I've been fairly quiet, so I can't get the thought out of my head that everyone there thinks I am a complete weirdo.
I just have a customer service job, and most of it is done through email. The clients will email in questions and we will respond. Well, every time I write a response back I must read it over 10 times before I press send. I'm all worried of what the person on the other end is going to think and if they'll think I'm an idiot who didn't answer their question properly.
But it really hasn't been all bad! The money is very nice and helpful.
I just have a customer service job, and most of it is done through email. The clients will email in questions and we will respond. Well, every time I write a response back I must read it over 10 times before I press send. I'm all worried of what the person on the other end is going to think and if they'll think I'm an idiot who didn't answer their question properly.
But it really hasn't been all bad! The money is very nice and helpful.
This is a topic that's uppermost in my mind. The longest I ever held down a job was 3 years. Otherwise, I avg 1.5 years at one place. I don't know how people with SP can stick a job. I get so stressed and anxious b/c of all the social situations that are unavoidable, and the pressure builds up so that I end up just quitting. I can't imagine living like this til I'm in my 60s. More than not having a social life, going to work is so agonizing. But I can't think of a decent job where little social interaction is required.
How do you survive without working Silver?
How do you survive without working Silver?
Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
I admit the hardest part is starting a new job, that's when I avoid doing it or etc. I do some corporate film videos on the side to make by but really it's been exactly a year since my last stable real job. I besides being lazy, just don't want to or worry about starting a new one, even just a simple summer job, the job does not matter. It's meeting the new people, learning the job, the systems, etc. and expending all that energy on not looking stupid and making good impressions and on and on.
When I had my last job though, it was a smaller place, which made it easier (it was a toy store! Not as fun as it may sound trust me lol =) I primarily worked in the back as a receiver/buyer for the toys. Eventually I opened up (not to all the employees) but it was hard to get to that point and be confident in what I Was doing too. When I was let go, well, the prospect of finding a new job and going through all that again was too daunting. So I focused on school, then got some film gigs to pass by, but I still feel similar.
When I had my last job though, it was a smaller place, which made it easier (it was a toy store! Not as fun as it may sound trust me lol =) I primarily worked in the back as a receiver/buyer for the toys. Eventually I opened up (not to all the employees) but it was hard to get to that point and be confident in what I Was doing too. When I was let go, well, the prospect of finding a new job and going through all that again was too daunting. So I focused on school, then got some film gigs to pass by, but I still feel similar.
Id have to say, yes. Right now im at a point where I NEEEDDDD a job. Ive needed a job for a few months now. But even with the bills piling up and being VERY close to losing my house... Im still not motivated to even look for a job. The pressure and anxiety is really horrible. Ive had a job once. And the first week was really hard. And I just dont wanna put myself through that stress again.
VioletTears
Well-known member
I have to because I think that my DH would be pissed if I quit and wouldn't understand.
I'm a preschool teacher and I do fine with the little kids but my interactions with staff and parents cause me A LOT of anxiety. I want so much to quit. I wish I could do something pointless like stuffing envelopes... Something that I couldn't mess up at... Maybe then I wouldn't have to try so hard (and fail) at being perfect.
I'm a preschool teacher and I do fine with the little kids but my interactions with staff and parents cause me A LOT of anxiety. I want so much to quit. I wish I could do something pointless like stuffing envelopes... Something that I couldn't mess up at... Maybe then I wouldn't have to try so hard (and fail) at being perfect.
lalaquiet
Member
Finding a job or starting a new job gives me the worst anxiety. I held the same job for 5 years and I loved it because only one person was on staff at a time, so I didn't have to worry about working with other people. I worked in a gift shop type place so most of the time I just sat behind the counter and read a book, only having to talk with customers when they were checking out. Very little stress. I recently moved and I'm having the worst time finding a new job. I'm so picky about where I apply to, I pretty much only apply to places where I don't think I will have to interact with many people. I'm so nervous about the thought of a job interview and sometimes I can't even bring myself to answer my cell phone when I get a call from a job I applied to.
CrystalBear
Member
I've been trying to get a job all summer but just the thought of going to get an application makes my stomache sick. Im 18, but I look young so people are always rude to me when I ask for an application. Some sassy employee "You know you have to be at least 17 to work here?" That sort of thing. It makes me feel so stupid.
Filling it out makes me panicy because Im so scared of doing something wrong. Then I get anxious waiting and hoping for a call.... Then if they do call doing the interview is a whole new nightmare.
Lately Ive been feeling like I'll never be able to secure a new job or even get the courage to let myself look for one
Filling it out makes me panicy because Im so scared of doing something wrong. Then I get anxious waiting and hoping for a call.... Then if they do call doing the interview is a whole new nightmare.
Lately Ive been feeling like I'll never be able to secure a new job or even get the courage to let myself look for one
Victor
Active member
I have a huge problem with getting a job. Even with looking for one. The very thought of going out looking for one leaves me light-headed and shaky for a whole day! I know this is a very wrong thing to do, but I'll rather look away from the whole problem and pretend that everything is alright. Thinking about the thing, let alone doing something about it, is just too painful.
And of course, I hate myself quite a lot for this.
And of course, I hate myself quite a lot for this.
CrystalBear
Member
Yeah Im doing the exact same thing! Its awful and also makes me feel shitty about myself.
I was going to have my boyfriend come with me to pick up applications but it sounds so pathetic to need to do that! Anyways he just got his tonsils out and cant go anywhere so it wouldnt work anyway.
I was going to have my boyfriend come with me to pick up applications but it sounds so pathetic to need to do that! Anyways he just got his tonsils out and cant go anywhere so it wouldnt work anyway.
ljwwriter
Well-known member
Don't even get me started. I've only had two very short-lived jobs in my life (I'm 20) and they did little more than discourage me from wanting to seek out new work. Still, over the years I've done it because I haven't had a choice. But it seems like every time I'm on the threshold of getting a new job it all collapses. I get extraordinarily nervous and I quit. I always feel awful about it and now it's left me at the point where everyone thinks there is something seriously wrong with me because I can't keep a job.
I've finally pretty much resigned myself to the fact that there just isn't a job out there for someone like me. I'll have to suffer through some lowly customer service job for years until I finish my education and am perhaps able to move into a career that isn't AS miserable. That seems to be the bleak reality. I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through these next 5 or so years when I'll have to hold down a job that will likely make me feel sick with anxiety each and every minute I'm there while at the same time going to classes in which I'll undoubtedly have to give numerous presentations.
I'm supposed to be going back to school next month, although my Dad says I can only do that if I'm paying for half of my education, which makes sense. So now I'm working with a temporary staffing agency who I suppose will call me at some point and say they've found me a job. And I'll have no choice but to accept it unless I want to end up at Walmart, the busiest store ever. I can't quit this next job either or else I'll be out on the streets, or as my Dad claims locked away in some mental institution for people who can't take care of themselves.
Most days I just hope I'll drop dead before I have to go through all of this misery.
I've finally pretty much resigned myself to the fact that there just isn't a job out there for someone like me. I'll have to suffer through some lowly customer service job for years until I finish my education and am perhaps able to move into a career that isn't AS miserable. That seems to be the bleak reality. I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through these next 5 or so years when I'll have to hold down a job that will likely make me feel sick with anxiety each and every minute I'm there while at the same time going to classes in which I'll undoubtedly have to give numerous presentations.
I'm supposed to be going back to school next month, although my Dad says I can only do that if I'm paying for half of my education, which makes sense. So now I'm working with a temporary staffing agency who I suppose will call me at some point and say they've found me a job. And I'll have no choice but to accept it unless I want to end up at Walmart, the busiest store ever. I can't quit this next job either or else I'll be out on the streets, or as my Dad claims locked away in some mental institution for people who can't take care of themselves.
Most days I just hope I'll drop dead before I have to go through all of this misery.
asdf
Active member
how do you guys get money if you dont have a job?
im pretty lucky, i got a job doing construction and everyone else is mexican and cant speak english, so no one expects me to talk :lol: cant believe how much it makes my anxiety go away. but soon as a white person comes to the job site, my anxiety builds up again.
im pretty lucky, i got a job doing construction and everyone else is mexican and cant speak english, so no one expects me to talk :lol: cant believe how much it makes my anxiety go away. but soon as a white person comes to the job site, my anxiety builds up again.
2Crowded
Well-known member
I'm on SSI now because I'm a loser.....dont want to be, but I wasent doing to good without any income since 2001....selling everything I own to get by...surprised I stil have a vehicle at this point...but I'm not really that much better off now then I was....I'm just existing.
sucks to be me...wouldnt recomend it to anyone.
Edit... ok...obviously I was having one of those days when i posted that...I know I'm not a loser....I am better off than I was then..this I know.
sucks to be me...wouldnt recomend it to anyone.
Edit... ok...obviously I was having one of those days when i posted that...I know I'm not a loser....I am better off than I was then..this I know.
SilverSorrow
Member
I live with my mother I do all the stuff around the house and yard that she can't do, which is quite a bit. I also help do errands for my dad and he often pays me or gives me money.
I do a lot of snow removal for my elderly neighbors in the winter. That's where I get the most income.
I do not receive any SSD/SSI, disability income, or welfare. That may very likely have to change soon.
I don't get enough money to "live on" but it's enough to buy myself things I need and want and have a little fun.
sabbath92002
Banned
I used to have that problem. I've probably been through 30 jobs in 30 years. But I've had the same job for the last two years now. More than three years ago I found ACT and my life's downward spiral has reversed since then. It feels great to be able to pay my own bills, buy a new car for my wife, have money in the bank, afford the latest computers (my toys), etc.
dottie
Well-known member
i find working to be extremely difficult no matter what the job is. no matter where you work you will have coworkers that you are expected to maintain a relationship of sorts with. this in itself is a lot of pressure, especially if they are cliquey, confident, and judgey.
socially i do not compute. i don't know how to joke around with people. i can ask questions, kiss ass, mirror, be totally cheesey fake and that is about the extent of my social skills. people hate that and i hate being reduced to that. but if i am in any social situation that is what i resort to doing because that is all i know how to do to cope. it is shameful.
the past year i have pushed myself to work an extremely difficult job. it is quite incredible that i lasted as long as i did. i worked as a waitress. fucking incredible. yes, i came across as mentally retarded to thousands of people but i pushed myself, forced myself to just show up every day. it is absolutely true: 90% of success is just showing up.
now i have a brand new job and i don't know if i can muster the strength to show up anymore. i do not think i can endure the humiliation of starting a new job that is so incredibly social all over again. it is painful to be watched by everyone in the restaurant and judged. i have my tail inbetween my legs the entire time and i feel like i am pissing myself.
it is such a challenge to just show up and fill out an application. but being a waitress, the pressure is unreal. i don't think i can take it anymore. i don't know what to do.
one time i had a job interview. it was in this lady's office, she was not much older than me at all. she started conducting a typical interview. i thought i was doing okay- not great, mind you, but okay. for fuck's sake- i mustered enough balls to show up at the interview, that was a big step for me alone. well, in the middle of the interview she stopped, got up and shut the door to her office. she sat back down on her side of the desk and took a more casual, personal tone. she started saying that if i ever want to get hired anywhere that i need to make better eye contact and to come across more confident. omfg. she said that the competition in the area is fierce and i would never stand a chance if i carried myself like i did. she told me that i should take a yoga class and meet people. she tried to say all of this in a kind way like she was a friend giving me advice. being socially inept and all, i just rolled with it, responded agreeingly (my typical kiss ass coping mechanism). when i got in my car i started crying. i am a grown "woman". i felt so transparent, ashamed, discouraged, literally retarded.
i do not know how to carry myself in a way to be respected. i do not have confidence. i have BALLS and endurance because i worked for the past year as a server but it is not the same thing at all. it was a year of humility. i do not think i can take such depths of humiliation much longer.
i have tried and tried and i know how awkward i come across to people. so awkward in fact that people question my mental competence. now i accept that i am socially retarded. all i rely on are phony coping mechanisms that don't work in the long run. sure they will get me through a moment with a passing stranger but it is no way to conduct oneself if you're going to have an ongoing relationship and be a respected adult.
i don't know what to do anymore. working causes me so much distress but i don't want to be that 30 year old jobless loser.
socially i do not compute. i don't know how to joke around with people. i can ask questions, kiss ass, mirror, be totally cheesey fake and that is about the extent of my social skills. people hate that and i hate being reduced to that. but if i am in any social situation that is what i resort to doing because that is all i know how to do to cope. it is shameful.
the past year i have pushed myself to work an extremely difficult job. it is quite incredible that i lasted as long as i did. i worked as a waitress. fucking incredible. yes, i came across as mentally retarded to thousands of people but i pushed myself, forced myself to just show up every day. it is absolutely true: 90% of success is just showing up.
now i have a brand new job and i don't know if i can muster the strength to show up anymore. i do not think i can endure the humiliation of starting a new job that is so incredibly social all over again. it is painful to be watched by everyone in the restaurant and judged. i have my tail inbetween my legs the entire time and i feel like i am pissing myself.
it is such a challenge to just show up and fill out an application. but being a waitress, the pressure is unreal. i don't think i can take it anymore. i don't know what to do.
one time i had a job interview. it was in this lady's office, she was not much older than me at all. she started conducting a typical interview. i thought i was doing okay- not great, mind you, but okay. for fuck's sake- i mustered enough balls to show up at the interview, that was a big step for me alone. well, in the middle of the interview she stopped, got up and shut the door to her office. she sat back down on her side of the desk and took a more casual, personal tone. she started saying that if i ever want to get hired anywhere that i need to make better eye contact and to come across more confident. omfg. she said that the competition in the area is fierce and i would never stand a chance if i carried myself like i did. she told me that i should take a yoga class and meet people. she tried to say all of this in a kind way like she was a friend giving me advice. being socially inept and all, i just rolled with it, responded agreeingly (my typical kiss ass coping mechanism). when i got in my car i started crying. i am a grown "woman". i felt so transparent, ashamed, discouraged, literally retarded.
i do not know how to carry myself in a way to be respected. i do not have confidence. i have BALLS and endurance because i worked for the past year as a server but it is not the same thing at all. it was a year of humility. i do not think i can take such depths of humiliation much longer.
i have tried and tried and i know how awkward i come across to people. so awkward in fact that people question my mental competence. now i accept that i am socially retarded. all i rely on are phony coping mechanisms that don't work in the long run. sure they will get me through a moment with a passing stranger but it is no way to conduct oneself if you're going to have an ongoing relationship and be a respected adult.
i don't know what to do anymore. working causes me so much distress but i don't want to be that 30 year old jobless loser.
dpr
Well-known member
dottie said:
wow that sucks! That's pretty much my biggest fear in an interview, that the interviewer will somehow notice my nervousness. She really shouldn't have said all that stuff. She should have either hired you or not hired you. You weren't asking her for "composure tips." What a bitch.
To the OP, yes I do work, just looking for a new job now actually. Work isn't that bad for me. I never really care too much about jobs, maybe that's why. Like I always have a "If I hate it I'll just quit" type of attitude. And a lot of jobs I have just up and quit.
One job that I had for about six months was a customer service type of thing. One morning, I blushed in front of everyone and they all made reference to it. "Oh look at how red he is," etc. I left at lunch and never came back lol
Right now, I'm applying for jobs where I think I will be noticed the least like call centres.
I think the worst part is the job interview, cuz you're actually being judged and what not. Starting a new job and leaving an old one (like legitimately resigning, giving 2 weeks notice and all that) are stressful situations for me also.