Are you dependent on other people?

Iseesky

Well-known member
I have two good friends. One is like me...She has social anxiety. However, she has it much much worse than I do. At one point mine was quite bad, but I worked on it. Sites like these have helped me sooo much. I've grown and I'm no longer as anxious as I once was. My friend doesn't attempt to help herself, though. And it upsets me because I feel like she's letting me down. We talk about our anxiety sometimes and certain things we fear. But, she doesn't admit that she has a problem like I do. I know that she does.

I know that it's not my duty to push her out of her shell and make her change. I feel selfish in that I want her to change for me. I want her to be comfortable enough to go out with me because having her there makes ME more comfortable. I feel dependent on her in a weird way. I have other friends, but when I go out with them, I just wish she was with me. It's easy to talk to her. But, she doesn't like going out. She doesn't enjoy going out and I resent that. I confronted her about it and she admitted that she has a problem...She told me that when she goes out she just wishes she were back home. She said that the only times she feels comfortable going out is when she's drinking. I tell her she should get help and she agrees but never does.

Basically, she acts as my human security blanket. I have no anxiety when she's with me and thus, I want her around all the time. And that's very selfish of me, I know...

Does anyone else feel like that? Feel comfortable around a single person, but that person isn't always there for you?
 

Forgotten-Children

Well-known member
I suppose so... But most of the time, they're more dependant on me because they know whenever they ask something of me, 98% of the time, they get it.

Like just now, I stupidly gave my sister $40 from my funds to fix my Wii and I tried as hard as I could to keep saying no but she wouldn't leave me alone and kept saying "I need a stree relief. PLEASE, Sissy! I'll pay you back!" (She calls me "Sissy" because I'm her older sister, but that's obviously not my name.)

But I just caved in and gave the money to her...
 

Ren Koutaisou

Well-known member
Not me. In fact, I'm trying to figure a way to be able to afford an apartment of my own so I can be independent. Screw relying on other people, because you will get screwed. I try not to rely on my family anymore either, but that can't be helped too much now.
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
I have two good friends. One is like me...She has social anxiety. However, she has it much much worse than I do. At one point mine was quite bad, but I worked on it. Sites like these have helped me sooo much. I've grown and I'm no longer as anxious as I once was. My friend doesn't attempt to help herself, though. And it upsets me because I feel like she's letting me down. We talk about our anxiety sometimes and certain things we fear. But, she doesn't admit that she has a problem like I do. I know that she does.

I know that it's not my duty to push her out of her shell and make her change. I feel selfish in that I want her to change for me. I want her to be comfortable enough to go out with me because having her there makes ME more comfortable. I feel dependent on her in a weird way. I have other friends, but when I go out with them, I just wish she was with me. It's easy to talk to her. But, she doesn't like going out. She doesn't enjoy going out and I resent that. I confronted her about it and she admitted that she has a problem...She told me that when she goes out she just wishes she were back home. She said that the only times she feels comfortable going out is when she's drinking. I tell her she should get help and she agrees but never does.

Basically, she acts as my human security blanket. I have no anxiety when she's with me and thus, I want her around all the time. And that's very selfish of me, I know...

Does anyone else feel like that? Feel comfortable around a single person, but that person isn't always there for you?

In the reverse situation you describe - you are the person on whom someone else is dependent - but the other person is not suitable, then that is a difficult situation. That is not completely the same, since she is not saying you are not suitable for her. Nonetheless, if someone is dependent on you that is potentially a difficulty.
 

JamesSmith

Well-known member
If it wasn't for my parents, i may be dead right now. I need my parents to give me a place to live. I was working full time, but got laid off so now I'm stuck with my parents. The outlook looks really bad, there aren't many jobs out there that suit me. I used to think of myself as a failure because i live with my parents, but now I know i have SA and things are harder for me. I have the right intentions, my dream is to have a full time job and have my own apartment, but that job needs to be something I can handle mentally.
 

Kat

Well-known member
I rely on some people to a certain extent but I try not to do it too much because having sp limits you enough as it is, but you need to find a good balance I guess because some people like to feel that they’re needed.
 
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