Anyone live on campus?

[Krista]

So, although my SA isn't cured in the least, things are getting more manageable to handle. I'm happier than I have been in awhile, I find I want to be more outgoing and I'm greeted with positive feedback when I am. All those times of worrying myself sick before I went somewhere or was at a function with people turned me into someone that no one wanted to be around, hence nobody liked talking to me which is the opposite of what I wanted obviously.

Off subject though. I like the freedom of doing what I want, not crazy things but just getting an idea in my head and having the gusto to do it. It's rather nice but I don't want to just jump into anything because I feel I can. I know eventually something will happen that's going to burn and bruise my self confidence but I can't think about that. Case in point, I've been looking at colleges to attend when August comes around. I had one picked out where I wouldn't have to live on campus but my aunt seems to think that this isn't a good idea. She believes that the best thing for me is to at least live on campus one year and see how I like it. She has the mind set that it would be great to be exposed to new people, go to parties, meet new guys and have fun like a college kid should. But I'm super nervous about the idea..to think of living away from home even though it's only twenty minutes away is scary. It's mainly being amongst a bunch of others that I don't know, forced to share a room with them.

I just wanted to know, of you guys who go to a university, how many live on campus? Do you like it? How did you transition from home to there?

 

[Enialis227]

I live on campus. Forcing myself to live with a room-mate sounded like a good idea to attack my Social Phobia. Luckily the guy I room with became one of my best friends as I quickly found out that we shared the exact same interests.

I think I would have lost it if I had to share a room with any of the idiots that I encounter on a day to day bases there, especially since I wasn't taking any medication then.

Overall, moving on campus was one of the best moves that I have made in my life because it gave me social opportunities that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. I don't think I ever would have gotten better if I had stayed at my house.

 

[Krista]

I live on campus. Forcing myself to live with a room-mate sounded like a good idea to attack my Social Phobia. Luckily the guy I room with became one of my best friends as I quickly found out that we shared the exact same interests.

I think I would have lost it if I had to share a room with any of the idiots that I encounter on a day to day bases there, especially since I wasn't taking any medication then.

Overall, moving on campus was one of the best moves that I have made in my life because it gave me social opportunities that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. I don't think I ever would have gotten better if I had stayed at my house.

That actually makes me feel better. Thank you dear. It's got this very strange appeal to it, the idea of living on an actual campus but I never thought I could do that. I kinda live at home and with friends, we share an apartment but this would force me to be involved with people I've never met. Pushing me out of my comfort zone because I won't have my friends to hide behind if I get nervous. It's nice that I'll get to see my family though on the weekends and any time I'm free if they wanted, my friends would only live about ten minutes away. When she suggested it, I automatically pushed the idea out of my head. The thought made me nauseous but after thinking about it, I like the sound of it more and more.

 

[Enialis227]

Just remember to not push yourself too hard, which is a mistake that is easily made when trying to overcome a problem like this.
Being able to retreat to your house on the weekends will make things a lot easier on you though.
Well, it does for me anyway; I only live about 20 minutes from my University.

I think you will be fine if you decided to stay on campus.

 

[Krista]

Just remember to not push yourself too hard, which is a mistake that is easily made when trying to overcome a problem like this.
Being able to retreat to your house on the weekends will make things a lot easier on you though.
Well, it does for me anyway; I only live about 20 minutes from my University.

I think you will be fine if you decided to stay on campus.

Well thank you so much. This really did help me.

 

[Emily_G]

I lived on campus my freshman year of college and hated it. I liked being able to walk to class everyday...but I spent a lot of time alone in my room, not socializing at all. It was horrible.

I would also hurry up and eat in the cafeteria so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone.

 

[reslo]

i went to college for 2 years. First year, lived in a dorm, shared a room with one girl. 2nd year, lived by myself.

When I lived alone, I became very reclusive. I'd only leave to go to class or go to the grocery store. I would actually go days without saying a word to anyone.

Living in a dorm is a challenge. 90% of the people i met in college were from my dorm. If you live on campus, you are in the mix with people. Especially during move-in day, make yourself available- people will introduce themselves, and will probably invite you along to something- even just going to the cafeteria. I made one good friend in college- and although i met him during a class, living in the dorm helped because it gave me things to talk about and i invited him to an event my dorm was having. You'll meet people who are nice, and people who aren't so nice... focus on the nice ones And also too if you have a roomate at college- you'll at least know one person!


You can be miserable whether you live at home or in the dorm. I think whatever you chose, open yourself up to people when they're around you when you can. Have a coping mechanism or support system in place if you do feel overwhlemed or like you're withdrawing from people. I don't regret living in the dorms, at least I can say I did it. I do regret focusing on negativity from others, instead of doing the things and talking to the people I wanted to.

 

[Juggalo]

Living somewhere that forces more social interaction isn't a totally bad idea. Its part of why my dream is to move to NYC.

 

[veggiebasket]

I went to university last year, and I had to live on campus because it was 8 hours away from my home. I can honestly say that it was the worst experience of my life, but don't be discouraged by my failure; it was entirely my fault because I simply was not ready to make that big of a change in my life.

I just ended up staying alone in my dorm room all the time, not even trying to socialize with anyone. Everyone on my floor was extremely nice and welcoming, and after they realized I was shy, they made extra efforts to include me. However, I was really depressed and homesick and so overwhelmed by all of the changes that I just could not bring myself to participate or socialize, and I just continually made excuses and turned down invitations.

Eventually (and not surprisingly) they stopped trying, and I could go days without even muttering so much as a "hello" to anyone. I did not even make a single friend that entire year, but this was my fault. I now realize that I was too young and ill-prepared to make this drastic change in my life.

I had pretty much reached rock bottom when I was there though, and this does not seem to be the place that you are in right now. If you are improving your life and are truly enjoying life, then I think that campus life would greatly benefit you as you rid yourself of SA. It can be really easy to become overwhelmed by all the new faces, but if your open and willing from the beginning, then I don't think that you will regret your decision.

 

[Krista]

I went to university last year, and I had to live on campus because it was 8 hours away from my home. I can honestly say that it was the worst experience of my life, but don't be discouraged by my failure; it was entirely my fault because I simply was not ready to make that big of a change in my life.

I just ended up staying alone in my dorm room all the time, not even trying to socialize with anyone. Everyone on my floor was extremely nice and welcoming, and after they realized I was shy, they made extra efforts to include me. However, I was really depressed and homesick and so overwhelmed by all of the changes that I just could not bring myself to participate or socialize, and I just continually made excuses and turned down invitations.

Eventually (and not surprisingly) they stopped trying, and I could go days without even muttering so much as a "hello" to anyone. I did not even make a single friend that entire year, but this was my fault. I now realize that I was too young and ill-prepared to make this drastic change in my life.

I had pretty much reached rock bottom when I was there though, and this does not seem to be the place that you are in right now. If you are improving your life and are truly enjoying life, then I think that campus life would greatly benefit you as you rid yourself of SA. It can be really easy to become overwhelmed by all the new faces, but if your open and willing from the beginning, then I don't think that you will regret your decision.

Wow, that's a great story. Thank you so much and I hate hearing that it didn't work for you. What did you end up doing about the situation?

 

[veggiebasket]

Wow, that's a great story. Thank you so much and I hate hearing that it didn't work for you. What did you end up doing about the situation?

I ended up coming home after the first year. Partly because I didn't make any friends and I was miserable, and partly because I wasn't enjoying the program I had taken and realized that it wasn't what I was truly passionate about. I took a year off and started working full time when I came back so that I could save up some money and go to a different school next year. I just applied about a week ago to some colleges again, and I'm pretty hopeful that things will go better this time around.

I've grown up a lot and learned from the mistakes I made. I don't even think that I regret going, now that I look back on it. As horrible as my experience was, it has taught me so much about myself and what it will take for me to reach out to others and make new friends.

 

[Krista]

I ended up coming home after the first year. Partly because I didn't make any friends and I was miserable, and partly because I wasn't enjoying the program I had taken and realized that it wasn't what I was truly passionate about. I took a year off and started working full time when I came back so that I could save up some money and go to a different school next year. I just applied about a week ago to some colleges again, and I'm pretty hopeful that things will go better this time around.

I've grown up a lot and learned from the mistakes I made. I don't even think that I regret going, now that I look back on it. As horrible as my experience was, it has taught me so much about myself and what it will take for me to reach out to others and make new friends.

Well that's great, do you plan on staying at home going to this college? Or would you try the whole campus thing again?

 

[veggiebasket]

Well that's great, do you plan on staying at home going to this college? Or would you try the whole campus thing again?

Unfortunately, the program that I really want to take is only offered at a college that is far away from home again, about 6 hours. It's a wildlife rehabilitation course, and the college that offers it is up in Northern Ontario where apparently part of the course involves working with polar bears, which sounds amazing to me because I love animals and can imagine spending the rest of my life helping them.

This means leaving home again, and I'm horribly nervous about it. But I know that it's my passion and I have to follow it, or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

 

[Krista]

Unfortunately, the program that I really want to take is only offered at a college that is far away from home again, about 6 hours. It's a wildlife rehabilitation course, and the college that offers it is up in Northern Ontario where apparently part of the course involves working with polar bears, which sounds amazing to me because I love animals and can imagine spending the rest of my life helping them.

This means leaving home again, and I'm horribly nervous about it. But I know that it's my passion and I have to follow it, or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

Well I hope all goes well for you dear, maybe we can check in with each other and compare notes. That does sound amazing though and I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Aphrodyte]

Well, it's hard to say what's right for YOU specifically, since it's different with everyone, but I can relate to you my experiences.

I'm a freshman attending college in Chicago, and since it's about 6-7 hours from my home, I had to and am currently living in one of the dorms. Honestly, it's not that bad - the dorm itself is great, my roommate is fine, and although we don't talk much or hang out at all, he's generally a nice and courteous guy. However, I really don't have any friends, although I would suppose that's partly my fault for not really caring or talking to people or making any effort to (my dorm in particular is known as the "anti-social" dorm, so that probably doesn't help much lol). There are quite a few jackasses on my campus as well, but then again they're everywhere else too.

I wouldn't worry too much about the transition that some people have problems with, unless you rely very heavily on your parents, it wasn't rough at all. I say it is a good experience to learn how to live by yourself in a semi-independent environment without actually being solely responsible for every daily task. If you're a bit like me though and don't gel well with others, then it can become lonely at times, but overall I think you should give it a shot.

 

[Krista]

Well, it's hard to say what's right for YOU specifically, since it's different with everyone, but I can relate to you my experiences.

I'm a freshman attending college in Chicago, and since it's about 6-7 hours from my home, I had to and am currently living in one of the dorms. Honestly, it's not that bad - the dorm itself is great, my roommate is fine, and although we don't talk much or hang out at all, he's generally a nice and courteous guy. However, I really don't have any friends, although I would suppose that's partly my fault for not really caring or talking to people or making any effort to (my dorm in particular is known as the "anti-social" dorm, so that probably doesn't help much lol). There are quite a few jackasses on my campus as well, but then again they're everywhere else too.

I wouldn't worry too much about the transition that some people have problems with, unless you rely very heavily on your parents, it wasn't rough at all. I say it is a good experience to learn how to live by yourself in a semi-independent environment without actually being solely responsible for every daily task. If you're a bit like me though and don't gel well with others, then it can become lonely at times, but overall I think you should give it a shot.

This was great to read! Thank you so much for it, I'm not necessarily dependent on my parents but just the fear of being out alone with people I don't know and no one I know coming with me. It's not like when I moved out with my friends, this feels like being thrown into a musical and not knowing any lines, lol.

 

[Nack]

How bout a guy whose going to college but staying at home? Wanna know my experience? To put it bluntly, it sucks staying at home and going to school. I don't drive yet so my mom have to drive me to school everyday that i have class. I feel like I'm wasting money, literally. I want to go to a university, but money is a BIG issue. I regret not choosing a university. Because i feel like i could have benefited more from them, all the clubs, people. And it also gives you some independence. To see how life is without mom or dad helping you. Its like survival.

I hate my life...

 

[Aphrodyte]

This was great to read! Thank you so much for it, I'm not necessarily dependent on my parents but just the fear of being out alone with people I don't know and no one I know coming with me. It's not like when I moved out with my friends, this feels like being thrown into a musical and not knowing any lines, lol.

Well, like you said in your first post, you'd only be twenty minutes away, so if you needed to, you could always head back home for the night or just to see your family. I was lucky in the fact that even though I am several hours from home, my aunt lives in the city, so it is nice to know that there's someone in a city of millions of people that I know and trust.

Keep in mind that most of the other students are going into the dorms blind as well, not knowing anyone beforehand. You'll all be in the same boat, so you are far from being the only one who doesn't know anybody.

 

[Tempus35]

This is semi-long.

I have had some interesting experiences with college. My first college was about 3 months after highschool, and it was about 8 hours away from home. I didn't do that bad, I wasn't super outgoing etc, but I ended up having a good roommate, that I became friends with, he was much more outgoing. Between the two of us we gathered a small group of friends. And for the first time I was doing ok. Life intruded again though, the course I was in turned out to be more a quick passion that failed, the school itself wasn't right in the setup that I was looking for etc, and my sister started having massive issues with depression and the things that happened to her added pressure to me. I ended leaving, not even finishing the semester, and came home.

Some months later I decided to try online college through a new degree, this worked for a while, I liked the fact I could take the class at night, which I am more of a night person. Issues appeared in the family again, and it was good I was home, because though I am not much support, I feel I helped some. I ended up quitting this school because of the money I was wasting, and seeing no future in the degree.

So I moved to a new degree, something I thought would rerealize my past loves, and I pick a college, that has good ratings and is close to home, the first year I was back in the dorms, none of my past credits really transferred, and I had to start over. The first year wasn't bad, I had issues with making it to class and doing homework, but it wasn't super bad, I was lucky again to get a good roommate, and a couple of people I talked to. I started doing bad though by the second semester, and for two more semesters I managed to pull out ok grades, but not great, this semester I have quit, for a break, in hopes to get things in order for once, and come back.

Basically all this is saying is that my experiences in college have been good for me, they have allowed me to find myself more, it has taken a long time, and will take a long time still to finally get to a degree, but I hope by that time I will be better.

 

[DanFC]

I'm in my third year of college now, and I can say confidently that deciding to go to a university where I would have to live on campus was beneficial for me. Part of it is luck though. The first year of college, one of my roommates turned out to become one of my really good friends. Second year, I got along okay with my roommates, didn't talk to any of them much but at least we never got into any arguments. Now, in my third year, I get along great with my roommates sometimes and there are periods when we just don't talk for no reason at all.

Anyways, aside from the roommate dilemma/opportunity, it was important for me to be able to have the decision of how close I wanted to be to people, and also the freedom to do as I liked. My parents pretty much also let me do whatever I wanted, but there nevertheless was an untold indirect pressure to do what they wanted, which I only recognized once I went to college.