Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
I need help. I'm very shy. I don't know what to do. Every day I go with saying just a few words. I hardly talk. I feel worthless and useless.
Anyone in the UK?
- Thread starter Frozen_In_Time
- Start date
anthony
New member
Hi Frozen in Time,
Ive just read your post, I am sorry you feel so bad and are so alone.
Is there anyone at all you can talk to, like a relative or even your family doctor? or maybe chatting to people online in one of the SA chat rooms?
Im sorry, I suppose I just wanted to make contact, say hallo and say I would be happy to chat online if you would like to. I hope things get better for you,
Best wishes,
anthony
[email protected]
ps I am in Stockport, UK
Ive just read your post, I am sorry you feel so bad and are so alone.
Is there anyone at all you can talk to, like a relative or even your family doctor? or maybe chatting to people online in one of the SA chat rooms?
Im sorry, I suppose I just wanted to make contact, say hallo and say I would be happy to chat online if you would like to. I hope things get better for you,
Best wishes,
anthony
[email protected]
ps I am in Stockport, UK
anthony
New member
Hi Frozen in Time 
Im afraid I may have blundered a bit
I didnt think to look at your profile, but having done so, I have discovered that you are female(which is fine, not a problem)
pretty young(im 50, so anyone under 40 is young and you were born in 1988, I am old enough to be your grandfather )
and what else, yes, I live in Stockport which is far to close to where you live
No one will believe that mine was an innocent post
Im sorry for the above mad speel, but I got really worried when I saw your profile that people would think I was chasing you, so I thought I would explain my mistake. It was probably not a good idea suggesting chatting online
I really hope that things get better for you, is there anyone you could talk to like a close relative, your family doctor or maybe a lecturer at college?
Very best wishes, and I really hope things get better for you,
Anthony
Im afraid I may have blundered a bit
I didnt think to look at your profile, but having done so, I have discovered that you are female(which is fine, not a problem)
pretty young(im 50, so anyone under 40 is young and you were born in 1988, I am old enough to be your grandfather
)and what else, yes, I live in Stockport which is far to close to where you live
No one will believe that mine was an innocent post
Im sorry for the above mad speel, but I got really worried when I saw your profile that people would think I was chasing you, so I thought I would explain my mistake. It was probably not a good idea suggesting chatting online
I really hope that things get better for you, is there anyone you could talk to like a close relative, your family doctor or maybe a lecturer at college?
Very best wishes, and I really hope things get better for you,
Anthony
Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
Hey ya Anthony, no need to worry about that, I can't even remember what I put on my profile...I think I better check it out before I get into trouble! Thanks for the concern, I do appreciate it. The problem is, I don't have anyone that I could really express my feelings to, one being that I'm ever so shy, and two, I have many restrictions...I won't go into detail now. Thanks for replying to my post...I was beginning to think that people were ignoring me, yet again! :roll:
Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
I'm glad it put you're mind at rest. As for being one of the "good guys"... I don't think I am. 1) I'm not a man 2) I'm not so good
Anonymous
Well-known member
Hi from the Uk
Just thought I would say hi as I am from the UK. I feel similar to you frozen in time. Somedays I can go without speaking to anyone without any trouble, infact that is most days, as I don't count going into a shop etc as having a conversation.
Which annoys me more than anything as it isn't how I want to be.
Just thought I would say hi as I am from the UK. I feel similar to you frozen in time. Somedays I can go without speaking to anyone without any trouble, infact that is most days, as I don't count going into a shop etc as having a conversation.
Which annoys me more than anything as it isn't how I want to be.
eran
Member
me too frozen
hey frozen in time dont worry so much we are all in the same boat.Im as lonely as you can imagine weve just got to think positively,im hoping to get the courage to attend a meeting with fellow sufferers as im desperate to make new friends with sa,as i have slowly lost contact with a lot of old friends.
hey frozen in time dont worry so much we are all in the same boat.Im as lonely as you can imagine weve just got to think positively,im hoping to get the courage to attend a meeting with fellow sufferers as im desperate to make new friends with sa,as i have slowly lost contact with a lot of old friends.
jjj555
New member
Hi Frozen_In_Time.
I know what you're going through. All I can advise is not to give up hope. Talk to your doctor. Be open. You'll be amazed at how understanding people will be. G.P.'s see people with anxiety disorders everyday! Social Phobia (SP),is very common. I know you can't see it now, but there is every possibility that you can conquer SP with the right treatment such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).
Remember, you've always got this website if you're feeling down or lonely!
Hope to hear from you soon.
I know what you're going through. All I can advise is not to give up hope. Talk to your doctor. Be open. You'll be amazed at how understanding people will be. G.P.'s see people with anxiety disorders everyday! Social Phobia (SP),is very common. I know you can't see it now, but there is every possibility that you can conquer SP with the right treatment such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).
Remember, you've always got this website if you're feeling down or lonely!
Hope to hear from you soon.
Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
Thank you to everyone who have posted here, and welcome to all the newbies! (Sorry, I just like to welcome people, pity no one was there to welcome me, oh well).
It seems like most younger people are more outgoing than I am, (I'm 15) and I hate having to sit in the middle of conversations and they don't include me...I mean, don't sit next to me if you're not going to talk to me. It seems like outgoing people are afraid of being alone, whereas I don't care if I'm seen alone, what difference would it make to me anyway? I'm alone everywhere I go, even with people. Some people may think it's self-inflicted, I suppose in some ways it's true. It's probably true that I CAN talk, but it's all in my mind that I can't talk. It's like every time I have to talk I freeze up (hence my user name!) I get all hot and cold, and I can't talk. Is it all in my mind?
It also seems that I cannot be helped, no matter what I do. Among this, I also feel "down" quite a lot, sometimes for no reason. Is it just teenage mood swings?
What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?
Thanks for reading.
Frozen_In_Time
It seems like most younger people are more outgoing than I am, (I'm 15) and I hate having to sit in the middle of conversations and they don't include me...I mean, don't sit next to me if you're not going to talk to me. It seems like outgoing people are afraid of being alone, whereas I don't care if I'm seen alone, what difference would it make to me anyway? I'm alone everywhere I go, even with people. Some people may think it's self-inflicted, I suppose in some ways it's true. It's probably true that I CAN talk, but it's all in my mind that I can't talk. It's like every time I have to talk I freeze up (hence my user name!) I get all hot and cold, and I can't talk. Is it all in my mind?
It also seems that I cannot be helped, no matter what I do. Among this, I also feel "down" quite a lot, sometimes for no reason. Is it just teenage mood swings?
What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?
Thanks for reading.
Frozen_In_Time
jjj555
New member
Hi Frozen in time. CBT is a process which challenges your thoughts (cognitions) and behaviour (your avoidance due to your fear).
Firstly, you identify and challenge the anxiety provoking thoughts that you have, and then replace them with new rational thoughts. You may have to rehearse the new thoughts and say them over and over until they become ingrained and hopefully result in a change to your belief system.
The second part of CBT is focused on behaviour. Gradual exposure to your most feared situation is the process. You create a hierarchy of fears, eg. a spider phobic may find a picture of a spider less anxiety provoking than a toy spider on a nearby desk, which may in turn be less anxiety provoking than a real, dead spider on a nearby desk, and so on until the most feared situation is attempted, which might involve being close by to a live spider.
Each process of the exposure therapy requires you to remain in the activity until your anxiety disappears.
Mental health experts say that CBT has an 85% success rate.
Unfortunately for me CBT has proved unsuccessful, but I'm not giving up and hopefully one day I will change my belief system!
I hope I've answered your question about CBT, and please, seek professional help. You may be one of the lucky 85% that CBT helps.
Firstly, you identify and challenge the anxiety provoking thoughts that you have, and then replace them with new rational thoughts. You may have to rehearse the new thoughts and say them over and over until they become ingrained and hopefully result in a change to your belief system.
The second part of CBT is focused on behaviour. Gradual exposure to your most feared situation is the process. You create a hierarchy of fears, eg. a spider phobic may find a picture of a spider less anxiety provoking than a toy spider on a nearby desk, which may in turn be less anxiety provoking than a real, dead spider on a nearby desk, and so on until the most feared situation is attempted, which might involve being close by to a live spider.
Each process of the exposure therapy requires you to remain in the activity until your anxiety disappears.
Mental health experts say that CBT has an 85% success rate.
Unfortunately for me CBT has proved unsuccessful, but I'm not giving up and hopefully one day I will change my belief system!
I hope I've answered your question about CBT, and please, seek professional help. You may be one of the lucky 85% that CBT helps.
Chump
New member
Like i posted earlier(but seems it was ignored), here is an article on using CBT to overcoming social phobia:
http://www.cognitivetherapy.com/socPhobPrint.html
http://www.cognitivetherapy.com/socPhobPrint.html
Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
Thanks Chump and jjj555. I will further read about it.
Anonymous
Well-known member
Hi
Hi I'm a UK'er
just sayin hello to everybody as I'm a noob.
I've had SA as long as I can remember, I have learnt to get by , by putting on a mask and acting like I'm confident and outgoing, when inside I am terrified, just remember everyone puts this mask on , even the people who you think are normal, from experience I have seen the strongest of people crack up, dont lose faith ,we all learn eventually how to get by.
Hi I'm a UK'er
just sayin hello to everybody as I'm a noob.
I've had SA as long as I can remember, I have learnt to get by , by putting on a mask and acting like I'm confident and outgoing, when inside I am terrified, just remember everyone puts this mask on , even the people who you think are normal, from experience I have seen the strongest of people crack up, dont lose faith ,we all learn eventually how to get by.
spacecadetglowuk
Active member
forgot to log in, :roll:
last message was by me BTW
last message was by me BTW
Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
Hi spacecadetglowuk,
I put on a "mask" as well. You're not alone there. I just smile, and everyone thinks I'm ok, but I'm not in actual fact. My heart is screaming at me to do something, but what or how, I don't know.
(Wow, you're a musician? What instrument(s) do you play? I'm very interested...) I play the piano.
Frozen_In_Time
I put on a "mask" as well. You're not alone there. I just smile, and everyone thinks I'm ok, but I'm not in actual fact. My heart is screaming at me to do something, but what or how, I don't know.
(Wow, you're a musician? What instrument(s) do you play? I'm very interested...) I play the piano.
Frozen_In_Time
spacecadetglowuk
Active member
guitar, bass and a very poor keyboard, I was in a band for some time and actually managed to sing infront of large audiences (quite a strain for the mask I wore I can tell you) I found that easier than talking to strangers?????? perhaps its like gareth gates and his stutter that disapears when he sings?
Wearing a mask is something I have adapted myself to to survive, its like being an actor and your life outside the frontdoor is a play but I have a problem keeping it up for long amounts of time. I learnt alot when a friend of mine taught me sales techniques of all things, I find conversations easier to handle now I have these skills. Perhaps I could compile a list if people think it may help?
Wearing a mask is something I have adapted myself to to survive, its like being an actor and your life outside the frontdoor is a play but I have a problem keeping it up for long amounts of time. I learnt alot when a friend of mine taught me sales techniques of all things, I find conversations easier to handle now I have these skills. Perhaps I could compile a list if people think it may help?
Frozen_In_Time
Well-known member
Thanks for the reply spacecadetglowuk. Yes, please could you write down the list of skills that you have picked up, I'm sure it would help me, and others on this forum. I only find conversations easy if I don't know someone, I know it's strange, but I find lots of things I can talk about if I don't know that person. On the other hand, with people whom I've known for a while, it's more difficult.
Take care.
Frozen_In_Time
Take care.
Frozen_In_Time