Anyone have problems with eating?

[Meggerz88]

The thing that make me get medical attention in the first place, which resulted in my diagnosis of SAD was eating. I had a bad spell a few months ago, where I would get really anxious about eating in public with people. This would cause my throat to close up and I would feel like I was going to gag on my food. Since I am intensely afraid of throwing up, this only made things worse.

A few embarrassing occurrences of this phenomenon pushed me to thw point where I got anxious about eating at all. When I felt hungry, I got anxious thinking about having to eat and worrying that I would gag. Then when I finally did eat and become full, I would feel ill, like I was going to throw up because I had eaten something. This got very bad as I was not eating nearly enough to sustain myself.

I finally went to my doctor and she had me do a barium swallow to make sure there was nothing physically wrong with me and sure enough, there wasn't. I have been making progress, but I still get really anxious about having to eat at restaurants or with people I don't know.

Has anyone else had this problem?

 

[WelshOne]

Yep! I can eat fine when I'm on my own, but around any people (even family) I get anxious and eating is difficult. It's purely because of the anxiety, and the fact that it's now a 'big deal' in my mind.

I've had panic attacks many times when trying to address this problem with my psychologist. She would take me to cafés instead of having our session in her office, and it was one of the hardest things I've had to face. I never made a lot of progress doing that, because each panic attack made me ever more nervous for the next appointment.

I'm now at college, and I'm trying my best to work on my eating. I find it easier to have small things that I can just have a few bites of and put in my pocket if I can't face any more. Certain foods I can't face at all, though (anything greasy or fatty, for example.)

I hate this problem, especially because I really want to put on some weight.

 

[dooby-duck]

Yes. I can eat fine alone and with family when at home most of the time. I used to have problems at Christmas and other important meals where the food aspect was important, where more effort than usual was put into the cooking, such as Sunday lunch but have been OK for the last couple of years. Meals out and restaurants however are a real problem.

I have avoided eating out for many years now. In fact the first time I have eaten out in years was last Friday. It was sprung on me so I had no time to panic beforehand. It was only breakfast so I chose the smallest thing possible. I started to feel anxious and when I first started to eat I did feel a bit sick but it did reduce and I was able to eat it. I wasn't comfortable though.

I also have problems with doing some activities away from home when I have recently eaten. Food does heighten my anxiety quite a bit. I am getting better at it though. Large amounts of food on a plate really intimidate me and bring on the anxiety.

 

[Meggerz88]

I'm glad (not that anyone should have to feel that way, but...) that I am not the only one. It is a really awkward problem. I am a really slow eater anyway and when I get anxious I go even slower. I am always the last one to finish and I hate being the one that is still eating when everyone else is done and waiting for you. I usually end up having the rest of my food wrapped up when the second to last person finishes even if I am still hungry and I eat it later. I had a couple of times out with people where the food came and I could only get a couple of bites down before I just could not put anything else in my mouth. I was sooo embarrassed to have to get my entire meal wrapped up, especially when other people were paying! Then people start asking questions about it...

The thing I have come to realize about this pattern is what a double edged sword it is. Worrying about this happening is what makes it happen and then the thing that you are so afraid of (being noticed and singled out) is only enhanced by the way you behave when anxious. But then when it happens and you get singled out, it confirms that there is something to worry about. Such an evil cycle!

 

[Kinetik]

Well I was clinically obese until 2007. Then on Christmas that year, I went on a strict diet which cut my weight to a normal level over the course of about 9 months or so. Since then I've been pretty absorbed with regards to what I eat; always counting calories and carbs, trying to find a balance between the two but also cutting out refined sugar completely. It's worked pretty well (I'm 6'4'' 190lbs), but yeah, I'll never eat (fully) normally again, for fear of overdoing it and winding up fat once more.

 

[Meggerz88]

That does play a role in issues with food for sure Kinetik. When I was in grade 12 (2006), I went through a lifestyle change to lose weight. Since then, I have lost about 125lbs. I have a lot of issues around food as it is. I think that addictions are pretty common of social phobics, and mine is definitely food (and I come by it honestly!). When I started having the issues with not eating, my family and close friends thought it was an eating disorder, but it wasn't. I wanted to eat, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't trying to lose weight, but within about a month I lost about 25lbs. Food has always sort of been my bandaid and comfort when I was feeling down, so having such a problem with it really messed me up.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

Gotten better about this one over the years. I was underweight as a kid though because of this problem. Liquids! Easy solution until you work up to eating in public.

 

[Off The Wall]

Oh that's awesome i'm not the only one yes i've had problems since i was like since forever actually i can't remember not being scared to eat around other people, restraunts.. oh my gosh. I always use to starve, going shopping and i'd never eat anything or i'd bring a sandwich and go to the bathroom and eat it. ha. which is really gross cause public toilets stink haha. but ya know..

even now i usually go buy lunch and eat it at the park by myself. Whenever we go out for like a family dinner, i always know where the bathroom is cause i assume i will need to and throw up all i've eaten,, which is pretty much nothing, i usually have my bag and i actually put food in my bag so it looks like i've eaten... sounds like i have an eating disorder... i was scared i did at one point but i go home and eat like a shitload cause im starving

christmas time sucks, my nan is always like eat eat, you need to put some meat on you. oh my gosh just shut up.. everyone does its always like Oh it's fine she never eats anything, everyone draws attention to me eating, like we went out the other week and ok so i actually chucked some pizza in my bag but i had "eaten" more then my brother but everyone is like oh my gosh how slow do you eat... it's so embarressing.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

yeah! and it isnt like you can suck it up and just make yourself eat, because then you have to deal with trying not to puke your lunch up on people.

 

[c4w_1337]

I completely agree. I have to force myself to eat at LEAST 1500 calories a day =/ Which means that what I do eat isn't the best or most nutritious-- I lost 50 pounds this year because of it. I don't mind, but I hope my stress doesn't keep doing this to me.

 

[Meggerz88]

Oooh! I feel really bad... I have been getting a lot better about going out with people to eat at restaurants. I am usually okay when it is just me and my boyfriend. His mom is in town and invited us out for dinner tonight and I didn't feel up to it this time, so I backed out and now I am bored at home alone waiting for my boyfriend to get back and I have to figure out what I am going to have for dinner...

 

[P+G]

For me eating at home is fine but it's dreadful out in public. Especially when there's lots of people who are looking at you. My hand which is holding the fork or spoon literally shakes when I hold it up to my mouth. It so embarassing and definately very awkward. I get paranoid that there's something on my face so I'm always wiping my mouth and I eat ever so slowly. Sometimes I have to leave lots of food behind. It's such a waste of food and money and doesn't look good. Also, it's such much harder to talk whilst eating outside. At home, I wouldn't have noticed at all. I would not survive a date at a restraurant.

 

[Harleyq]

Eating in public is fine with me. I had to struggle though. Now I'm happy to say that if I want to, I can even go to the campus cafeteria and eat by myself and be ok - still anxious and I still have to kinda pep talk myself into doing it, but at least I can do it.


Idk how much it'll work for you, but I kept telling myself that nobody's really paying that much attention to me, which is true. I reminded myself that anytime I ate, either by myself or with friends, I concentrated on my food or the conversation I was having and I never once watched the way other people ate or whether they ate alone or not. Therefore, most other people probably did the same thing.

 

[blue-roses]

I get a little bit anxious, but never so much that I have trouble swallowing or anything. I'm also severely emetophobic (afraid of vomiting) so I have a lot of OCD-type behaviours when it comes to food, like only picking things up with a napkin or nibbling around the bit I've touched and then throwing it away (really hard if you're eating something like hot chips in a restaurant...where do you put it? I usually put it in my pocket or bag and ruin them with grease, haha). That's what I get self-conscious about - not the actual eating but the rituals about touching food...also inspecting the food to make sure it's cooked, no insects in the salad, hehehe. I also can't eat muffins, cakes etc. "normally" because I don't like to touch them, so I just sort of stuff the whole thing in my face...when no-one's looking...and make a mess...then blush and feel like dying...Sometimes if I'm eating something that drops a lot of crumbs I get really embarrassed and blush badly but that's it.