Anyone else given up?
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Some_guy
Well-known member
I think there's a way for me to get better (as there is for each of us). But it'd take so much effort, and I lack the motivation.
So yeah, for now things are just stagnant. I've not given up on the thought of leading a normal or semi-normal life sometime in the far future though.
So yeah, for now things are just stagnant. I've not given up on the thought of leading a normal or semi-normal life sometime in the far future though.
U
userremoved
Guest
I've had times in the past when things got so overwhelming that I gave up in a way, then something would happen that would give me hope again. As of right now I still wanna try, I may not be moving quickly but I'm not gonna stop either. Heck I do know for a fact that I was a lot worse in dealing with people when I was in high school, so it shows me that at least I'm learning something from life.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
i know exactly what you mean. i hate to be negative, but i know im not going to change. i would if could, but i cant. whenever i try to really get help and tell people how awful i feel, i feel so guilty because there's nothing they can do either. all it does is bring attention to you rather than help. i feel like i can only bring people down because im so serious and sad when it comes down to it. maybe support, therapy and medicine works for some people, but it doesnt for me. my only hope is that i'll fail in a fun way. thats what im trying to figure out.
Richey
Well-known member
How you see yourself or Life can be divided up into various parts, this means you arn't judging yourself based on one or two major hurdles ...
for instance..
1-10 with an explenation for each category...you may have different results for each one. just say what seems like the worst situation well that is one problem you could seperate even further. say you think your personality is not what you want, then it may be the way you are talking or your tone of voice or enthusiam that is holding you back...or you've run out of money for the month..or you've been fined for something out of cluelessness, or something that you didnt want to happen or is occuring and is effecting your self worth and so forth...everything can change and has potential to cahnce quickly for the better and sometimes its small changes that causes gradual benefit to yourself.
finances: 7 - need to work out a better budget, different job...etc
speech/voice: 6 - needs more practice....etc
motivation: 7
study/research: 5
how much do i give: 8
clothes/look: 8
hobbies: 6
interests: 8
career/job: 8
fun/humour: 5
ethical/law:
spontaniaty:
this way you are isolating the problem areas and you arn't judging your issues as one big entity.
even if you give yourself low scores at least you know you can change them now and in the future.
for instance..
1-10 with an explenation for each category...you may have different results for each one. just say what seems like the worst situation well that is one problem you could seperate even further. say you think your personality is not what you want, then it may be the way you are talking or your tone of voice or enthusiam that is holding you back...or you've run out of money for the month..or you've been fined for something out of cluelessness, or something that you didnt want to happen or is occuring and is effecting your self worth and so forth...everything can change and has potential to cahnce quickly for the better and sometimes its small changes that causes gradual benefit to yourself.
finances: 7 - need to work out a better budget, different job...etc
speech/voice: 6 - needs more practice....etc
motivation: 7
study/research: 5
how much do i give: 8
clothes/look: 8
hobbies: 6
interests: 8
career/job: 8
fun/humour: 5
ethical/law:
spontaniaty:
this way you are isolating the problem areas and you arn't judging your issues as one big entity.
even if you give yourself low scores at least you know you can change them now and in the future.
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Kustamogen
Banned
I havent given up....but my life has to change. My gf (of almost 11yrs) bought a house in fall....and its about 15min away from my parents and my "comfort zone"....before I moved in with her I had an apartment like 3min away from my rents place so still in my zone and I was pretty happy there......But once the house got bought I wanted to push myself so I moved in with her. But Ive given up....after 4 months I cant take it anymore....shes not around much (with work/muay thai training) so Im at the house ALL day alone....wake up alone and am alone till like 8-9pm....I tried staying there for the first couple months but eventually my anxiety got worse and worse each day to the point I would drive to my parents pretty much everyday....the last couple weeks Ive just been staying at my rents.....Im SICK of being anxious so I cant stay there....it ****ing sucks
You have come to an end and you feel better because you have taken away any expectations good or bad, safe play and very advanced thinking at age 18. One problem,
you are not happy with the results. I know you probably are not aware of this but you have a talent of going through trouble shooting very quickly. I expect you will find a way to find yourself and be happy with it, if you happen to be a bad person then you will know soon. Just try not to harm others. Find something you really like doing and stay with it, that will bring you fulfillment again try not to harm others. Simple really, try it.
you are not happy with the results. I know you probably are not aware of this but you have a talent of going through trouble shooting very quickly. I expect you will find a way to find yourself and be happy with it, if you happen to be a bad person then you will know soon. Just try not to harm others. Find something you really like doing and stay with it, that will bring you fulfillment again try not to harm others. Simple really, try it.
I would be dead right now, If i have given up... But, at the moment I found something to look forward too. Even if the end result is inevitable, I feel good about the "moment" and will cherish every second. Because I haven't felt like this for a while, and it gives me new insights to what I've been missing and what is also out there to look forward too.
Yes the mind becomes complacent nomatter if you have a horrible life or a very good one. Just when you feel like all is lost, be happy! because something is due to change! The human mind has a very good way to keep you excited in its own built in ability to change. Things we have not even thought about that are good are on the way!
Interesting to think of the possibilities isn't it!
exactly..and other things..
Different people cope differently with frustration. An 18 year old person without the ability to withstand frustration/desperation can easily decide to give up on achieving whatever it is he/she doesn't get. "Giving up" one thing doesn't mean to give up on life. In fact, sometimes it is a valuable skill to be able to "let go".
I, myself, am considering giving up on finding a girlfriend. Not because "I am oh so unlovable or undesirable" but rather because it's a lot of work. I love the idea of having a girlfriend and being intimate, but I truly hate the practice. I am not at all into compromising and a woman of the kind I could without much effort be happy with is hard to nigh impossible to find. So, for my own mental sanity and future success I ought to "let go" of the deep wish to have a girlfriend.
A problem might be my sex drive. I could chemically castrate myself. :
: The only reason why I don't do it are the side-effects, which, I imagine, are unacceptable. An escort lady might turn out to be too expensive. Finding random girls to have sex with is still quite hard. I may not even have the time for that.Its tough when most girls dont seem interested, and its easy to feel discouraged and i myself feel like a loser constantly because i see "beautiful" people out there all paired up.
I feel that i would get on well with the right girl, treat her right, i think i should be capable of finding love, and i'm very interested in women...
Doesn't seem to matter if i try or not, i have no options, its as if i'm in solitary confinement, and everyone else is having fun outside. Its easy to get depressed, but i have a slight hope that i can find a sweet girl one day.
jbeenthere
Well-known member
Persona,
I hope the following provides a little perspective.
There are many moments in every day that I wish I could go back in time to where (when) you are now. Sounds crazy but if I had known what I know now at 18, 20, 25 I might be so much further along than I am now. The term SAD was not around when I was in high school when my SA hit. nor CBT or the internet. You have your youth which is your best weapon against the dark side. I realize it is a double edged sword as one can be equally fatalistic and cynical at that age but you also still have possibilities.
The fact that you post here is a sign you have not in fact given up. I believe you are having a rational response to a very difficult situation and that I for one, and many MILLIONS of others, have been right where you are now.
Not many who have not experienced SA can understand the veil that separates, but you are part of a tribe of the afflicted and we do understand. Keep reminding yourself that you are walking with millions and that together we will make a world that recognizes and accepts us for who we are. Don't worry about what you have not accomplished today just keep in mind that part of the condition is that you don't accurately perceive yourself the way others perceive you. If you need to test this then think of the way you perceive those nearest to you - do you give them the benefit of the doubt? do you cut them some slack for their minor defects? do you imagine how strong they must be to confront their reality? This is probably the exact same way they see you.
So make it through one more day and think about what you would do if you had your SAD under control. Then see yourself getting the help you need to achieve it. ::
I hope the following provides a little perspective.
There are many moments in every day that I wish I could go back in time to where (when) you are now. Sounds crazy but if I had known what I know now at 18, 20, 25 I might be so much further along than I am now. The term SAD was not around when I was in high school when my SA hit. nor CBT or the internet. You have your youth which is your best weapon against the dark side. I realize it is a double edged sword as one can be equally fatalistic and cynical at that age but you also still have possibilities.
The fact that you post here is a sign you have not in fact given up. I believe you are having a rational response to a very difficult situation and that I for one, and many MILLIONS of others, have been right where you are now.
Not many who have not experienced SA can understand the veil that separates, but you are part of a tribe of the afflicted and we do understand. Keep reminding yourself that you are walking with millions and that together we will make a world that recognizes and accepts us for who we are. Don't worry about what you have not accomplished today just keep in mind that part of the condition is that you don't accurately perceive yourself the way others perceive you. If you need to test this then think of the way you perceive those nearest to you - do you give them the benefit of the doubt? do you cut them some slack for their minor defects? do you imagine how strong they must be to confront their reality? This is probably the exact same way they see you.
So make it through one more day and think about what you would do if you had your SAD under control. Then see yourself getting the help you need to achieve it. :
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