anxious around your psychologist/therpist/social worker? etc?

[EscapeArtist]

I had my first real session with my new social worker and my god.... I have never been more nervous in my life! I'm scared to show emotion, and when I realise that i'm sensitive to a subject that she's pushing, my brain and nerves just go HAYWIRE.

 

[EscapeArtist]

what has yours helped you learn? I'm so new to the whole psyc thing and i'm very impressed with how much I have learned in just one session!
Like that all my anxiety is connected to my high standards that I set out for myself, and expect other people have for me, or that I really did lose a dad even though he was a unnavailable stranger, that it affects me more than I know, that I might NOT be transgender... just simple not want breasts or hips, that I am an extremist for causes to avoid living for myself.. and most of all, that my fear of judgement comes from fear of showing any emotions- be it joy or sadness, i'm ashamed. I can't believe how different already I feel and yet i'm still not at school. guess it's just the tip of the iceberg

 

[Eilonwy]

Today was my first time too...and I completely broke down at one point cause I don't ever generally talk bout that stuff with anyone at all, and usually push it all as far back into my subconscious as possible, so talking bout it really dredged things out.

but yeah I think she was totally judging lol. I still can't help thinking that even though they're trained for this and whatnot. And anyway, she seems absolutely terrible at her job -__-

You shouldnt be nervous of showing your emotions though, that's one of the things that they deal with and are used to. =]

 

[EscapeArtist]

Hey, I cried in front of my therapist once and he said let it all out lmao...it felt better afterward and I sort of trusted him a bit more. It seems like you had a break through pretty quickly. I used to look at my therapist and think that he thought I was a petty broad wanted me to shut up. I even started asking him questions about his life because I felt self-absorbed. It's nice when you have someone patient to talk to though, it gets easier.

Hahaha I feel self absorbed all the time too, told myself to next time not keep talking about myself! And i'm surprised.. If I cried in front of mine I would feel awkward the next time I saw them, as if that's all they're thinking of, that they got me to cry! (obviously projection, because that's all i would be thinking of)

 

[illuminationSP]

I'm having to meet with these people everyday now, and I find myself less engaged with each passing day. I'm nearing the point where I'm only telling them what they want to hear, as if I'm just mentioning something that I may have heard from some television doctor program, or repeating some typical, cheesy, textbook secret to wellness ("sunshine makes ya happy" bla bla bla). I fear that my matters are too complicated. I basically play with my thumbs and count the minutes until I can leave these meetings and return to my room. This really scares me - my tendencies to always want to flee and just fall beneath the f**king cracks of the floor. I ask for help, but I don't accept the help. Am I just wasting their time? I can never commit to anything.

 

[Bama_Heath]

I have never had good fortune with therapy. I think the most enlightening thing that one every said or noticed that I didn't is that when I would talk to her I would rest my hand over my chin and mouth from time to time. She brought attention to it and said that it showed I was self-conscience about myself.

Most of the time though I didn't feel like she really helped me figure anything out. It's like I was telling her what I thought she wanted to hear and I never really resolved anything. I though the most ludicrous thing was when she told me to read and the apply things for the book 'The Secret'...ugh. I wish I could muster the courage to try again though with someone new.

 

[BlueDays]

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