MotherWolff
Banned
Okay. I know I am not one who normally post things of a complaining nature, but yesterday did not go so well.
So yesterday, my dad and I were supposed to go to the healthfood store(The Granary) together, so he can get hemp protein and I could pick up tumeric and kelp herbs due to high PTH and deep vein thrombosis/blod clots(from lupus and kidney failure:sad
.
But as soon as we start talking, we just argue. I should have known better to just shut up so I could get my herbs.
For some reason I tried to tell him something he wanted me to keep quite about, like my mom would do when I used to live with her as a teenager and younger adult.
This something had to do with kids(yes, I said kids) picking on me for absolutely no apparent reason, perhaps because they wanted attention and I basically pretended they just didn't exist.
Maybe they think I carry myself in a very stuck-up manner(dignified, maybe, but not stuck_up).
But my dad made it look like it was my fault by asking very stupid questions like, "What did YOU do to them?" or "What side of the street did YOU walk on?" I mean, he never actually said, "This is YOUR fault," yet he implied it,
Then I said, "The next time they mess with me, I will file a report or restraining order against them."
For some stupid *** reason, his response to that was, "So YOU can go to jail!?"
Then I'm like,"WHY WOULD I GO TO JAIL FOR FILING A REPORT AGAINST PEOPLE I DID NOTHING TO WHO WERE HARASSING ME!!?"
So all of a sudden he talks about my breath, calling it "medicine breath."
He has been doing this alot recently, every time I bring up a subject he really doesn't want to hear. My mom did the same thing, yet he always proclaims very haughtily and pridefully that he is NOTHING like my mama.
So I am mad of course, at this point, and I move the mirror thingy in the front passenger seat of his '93 Suburban to shade my eyes from the sun and he goes, "Don't break it!"
As a response to his "medicine breath" comment, I said, "This car is old and busted up, like YOU!"
He got so ****in mad he floored the breaks to the point where I almost could have flew out the front window shield(he would have a hard *** time explaining that to the cops and paramedics, wouldn't he?:sarcastic::sarcastic::sarcastic.
He told me to get out and walk home.
Luckily, it wasn't a long walk. He did this before in the city. But that is a whole other story.
So I got so angry that I spent much of my 50 dollar SSI monthly income on some nutritionally poor Dominos Pizza...
Pretty much ate all of it. But I was even sadder than before I ate it, so I went to bed around 4:30pm and now I can't seem to fall back asleep. At least there is a somewhat funny movie on tv right now...
Anyways, I had to order my tumeric and kelp online.
I don't know why my dad(and even my mom sometimes) blames me for all the harm that comes to me even if its out of my control. Like, dad says its my fault I was molested by my white step bro when I was only 8. Dad says, I should have ran away. But my step bro was 12. I didn't even realize what was happening. Then he says its my fault that I was sexually harassed by three black boys in middle school because it would have never happened if I never went to Detroit to live with my mom. My mom used to say its my fault I get sick so much. I am tired of being blamed for my own pain and suffering. I think from now on, I won't talk to my dad unless I have to or spoken to. But when he tries to instigate an argument, I will just shut down and become very robotic. When I let emotions get in the way, I usually end up right in the hospital. I don't wanna do anything with my dad if its not necessary. It does make me sad but he makes me more angry than sad.
Anyone else have parents, siblings, other family members, or even friends that blame you for ANYTHING, especially for your own pain?
My dad says its my fault I even was sick. This is why I kept quiet and suffered in silence about the abuse I faced as a little girl from his first ex-wife and her family while he was away at sea. Lots of black women suffer from these things(especially rape) in silence because no one believes them and they most likely will be ridiculed for it. When I told one of my bros about those three black boys fondling me, he just told me to "shut up" as if the thought of someone touching me like that was just sickening because I am ugly or somethin. I dunno...
So yesterday, my dad and I were supposed to go to the healthfood store(The Granary) together, so he can get hemp protein and I could pick up tumeric and kelp herbs due to high PTH and deep vein thrombosis/blod clots(from lupus and kidney failure:sad
.But as soon as we start talking, we just argue. I should have known better to just shut up so I could get my herbs.
For some reason I tried to tell him something he wanted me to keep quite about, like my mom would do when I used to live with her as a teenager and younger adult.
This something had to do with kids(yes, I said kids) picking on me for absolutely no apparent reason, perhaps because they wanted attention and I basically pretended they just didn't exist.
Maybe they think I carry myself in a very stuck-up manner(dignified, maybe, but not stuck_up).
But my dad made it look like it was my fault by asking very stupid questions like, "What did YOU do to them?" or "What side of the street did YOU walk on?" I mean, he never actually said, "This is YOUR fault," yet he implied it,
Then I said, "The next time they mess with me, I will file a report or restraining order against them."
For some stupid *** reason, his response to that was, "So YOU can go to jail!?"
Then I'm like,"WHY WOULD I GO TO JAIL FOR FILING A REPORT AGAINST PEOPLE I DID NOTHING TO WHO WERE HARASSING ME!!?"
So all of a sudden he talks about my breath, calling it "medicine breath."
He has been doing this alot recently, every time I bring up a subject he really doesn't want to hear. My mom did the same thing, yet he always proclaims very haughtily and pridefully that he is NOTHING like my mama.
So I am mad of course, at this point, and I move the mirror thingy in the front passenger seat of his '93 Suburban to shade my eyes from the sun and he goes, "Don't break it!"
As a response to his "medicine breath" comment, I said, "This car is old and busted up, like YOU!"
He got so ****in mad he floored the breaks to the point where I almost could have flew out the front window shield(he would have a hard *** time explaining that to the cops and paramedics, wouldn't he?:sarcastic::sarcastic::sarcastic
.He told me to get out and walk home.
Luckily, it wasn't a long walk. He did this before in the city. But that is a whole other story.
So I got so angry that I spent much of my 50 dollar SSI monthly income on some nutritionally poor Dominos Pizza...
Pretty much ate all of it. But I was even sadder than before I ate it, so I went to bed around 4:30pm and now I can't seem to fall back asleep. At least there is a somewhat funny movie on tv right now...
Anyways, I had to order my tumeric and kelp online.
I don't know why my dad(and even my mom sometimes) blames me for all the harm that comes to me even if its out of my control. Like, dad says its my fault I was molested by my white step bro when I was only 8. Dad says, I should have ran away. But my step bro was 12. I didn't even realize what was happening. Then he says its my fault that I was sexually harassed by three black boys in middle school because it would have never happened if I never went to Detroit to live with my mom. My mom used to say its my fault I get sick so much. I am tired of being blamed for my own pain and suffering. I think from now on, I won't talk to my dad unless I have to or spoken to. But when he tries to instigate an argument, I will just shut down and become very robotic. When I let emotions get in the way, I usually end up right in the hospital. I don't wanna do anything with my dad if its not necessary. It does make me sad but he makes me more angry than sad.
Anyone else have parents, siblings, other family members, or even friends that blame you for ANYTHING, especially for your own pain?
My dad says its my fault I even was sick. This is why I kept quiet and suffered in silence about the abuse I faced as a little girl from his first ex-wife and her family while he was away at sea. Lots of black women suffer from these things(especially rape) in silence because no one believes them and they most likely will be ridiculed for it. When I told one of my bros about those three black boys fondling me, he just told me to "shut up" as if the thought of someone touching me like that was just sickening because I am ugly or somethin. I dunno...
