Always end up by myself

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redtear

Well-known member
So I did something huge today. Something that deserves a celebration. Problem is, I have no one to go celebrate with. I'm trying to convince myself to go out anyways. Go to a local pub and just have a few drinks. By myself. And it's not even the thought of going by myself, and the awkwardness associated with that, that's holding me back. It's the patheticness of not having anyone to go with and the sadness from that, that is getting in the way of the excitement I should be feeling right now. Also, I am really angry. I have made a few friends recently. And they all knew what today is (not my bday or anything, but still something really really important). You would think they would want to come join me. Celebrate with me. Be happy for me. They know what a big deal this is. This is something they have to do themselves soon. And something they will celebrate when it's done. Instead they all have other plans. And I don't doubt that they really do have other plans, I don't think it's just an excuse to not hang out with me. I just think it's very inconsiderate of them to not be there for me right now.
 
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redtear

Well-known member
phocas said:
Love to hear what you did? Congratulations anyway! :D
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Thanks Phocas. I took a huge exam. It's called an usmle step exam. It's a freakin 9hr long exam with questions encompassing 4 years worth of classes. Most people aren't familiar with it, but those who are (my so called friends) know just how big of a deal it is. And yet they're all busy. Great friends.
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
Hey, kudos to you, redtear:)! From how you described it, I would imagine it's a very hard test.
Back on topic, maybe you should spend today to pampering yourself for making it through the test. Go watch a movie you've been waiting to see or buy something that you really wanted; just for today, don't hold any of your pleasures back. Sorry about your "friends" not being there, but, don't let their absence ruin your mood. Right now, be selfish. Focus only on yourself and what makes you happy (although I'm concerned if this made any sense or helped at all).
 
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redtear

Well-known member
DeadmanWalking said:
Hey, kudos to you, redtear:)! From how you described it, I would imagine it's a very hard test.
Back on topic, maybe you should spend today to pampering yourself for making it through the test. Go watch a movie you've been waiting to see or buy something that you really wanted; just for today, don't hold any of your pleasures back. Sorry about your "friends" not being there, but, don't let their absence ruin your mood. Right now, be selfish. Focus only on yourself and what makes you happy (although I'm concerned if this made any sense or helped at all).
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Makes sense, yes. Just don't think I can do it. Whatever I end up doing is going to be tainted. I literally feel like there is a hole is me.
 
sam89

sam89

Member
Sorry to hear that, how can you call them friends? At least I hope that this is the only time they do this! But never mind them we celebrate with you here :)
And 9 hour exam?! I can't sit on my butt for more than 2 hours! Maximum. lol
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
redtear said:
Makes sense, yes. Just don't think I can do it. Whatever I end up doing is going to be tainted. I literally feel like there is a hole is me.
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Then, maybe what you want to do is to not think about it. Just get lost in the moment and emotions and enjoy yourself. Don't lament being alone because, sometimes, you don't need anyone else to make an activity a happy one. I play single-player RPGs and multiplayer fighting games (even though I suck at them) all the time by myself. It doesn't make playing them any less fun, though. The only way a hobby will become tainted is if you let it happen, so don't let it happen, okay?

Hey, if coyote gets to go, can I go too? Even though, I'm only 19, I can still cut a rug if I want to!
 
R

redtear

Well-known member
So I did it. I went out. Had a few drinks. It was awkward at first. But then a group of people invited me to join them. I ended up having a fairly good time.

And one of my friends, the one I consider to be the closest, ended up feeling badly that he couldn't be there. So he's coming to see me and hang out with me tomorrow. I always have fun with him, regardless of what we're doing, so I'm excited.

I guess I just need to quit being so sensitive. It's my own fault fo assuming they would'nt have plans, for waiting till last minute to ask if they would join me. But, on the other hand, I know on their big day, I will make sure I'm there for them without having to be asked. Still irks me a bit that they didn't do the same.
 
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redtear

Well-known member
market.garden said:
Glad you ended up having a good time in the end & congrats on passing your exam too :)
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Thanks. Too soon to know if I passed or not. Stupid results take 3 to 4 weeks to come back. So frustrating. But thanks for assuming I did, that makes me feel smart :)
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
Good for you going out and celebrating! How great that you were able to join others at the bar. I fantasize about going to a bar alone and doing the same! Very brave of you.

About your friends... I have found it is a hard thing to get others to do something. Even with planning beforehand. People are just so flaky. It really does suck.

Good luck on your test! :)
 
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