Always conscious of other people's opinions, especially immediate family?

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've found as I've grown older that I tend to be really hesitant, afraid to an extent to do a task, bring news to the rest of my immediate family because I tend to be worried that they'll criticise me publicly in front of other family members, or they'll mock me privately for me doing something that I want to do or if it is something they don't want me to do.

When it comes to my close friends, I don't tend to feel that way. Because as my close friends, they'll tell me what they feel maybe with humour or in a genuine caring way.

But in regards to family views, I'm at a stage where I'm feeling rebellious (at the age of 26) and maybe using my anger or temper publicly might help to throw out some of my feelings although it may upset some family members that I've reacted by raising my voice rather than being passive.

I'm hoping, if I do go down the CBT route, that in time I'll be able to express my views, feelings within the family compound but atm, I just feel scared of doing anything incase it backfires one me and I end up the joke.
 

dottie

Well-known member
quiet-confidence.jpg
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Hmmm...nice thought but for me, if I was to raise my voice it would be a sign, not of insecurity, but maybe something is up. If I did have a quiet confidence then that would be better but I hope to boost that over the next few weeks with my sessions with a assessor arranged via the doctors.
 

dottie

Well-known member
there are some things i just do not disclose to my family. or if i do, it's after a grace period, so that i am not so sensitive about their reaction. you might need to work on setting and recognizing your boundaries with your family?
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've not disclosed to them about my depression, low esteem etc because some of my family members' response probably would be to snap out of it and have a blunt attitude.

My family culture is very much one, where all members' lives are linked very closely together, so news gets around quick and opinions get formed even faster.

But a good point you made that I hadn't thought about was boundaries, but I wouldn't know how to define those boundaries? I assume you're referring to when or if to tell them something etc?
 

laure15

Well-known member
I have the same problem with my relatives too. My parents used to go around telling them that I will be a doctor. But I didn't major in pre-med and now 6 years later, I'm not a doctor. My relatives probably think I'm too stupid to go to med school, because I've heard them calling me stupid several times. Now, I don't share anything with them and I tell my parents to stop bragging about me (and giving people false expectations of me).
 
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