Addiction Counselling

Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
I am starting this thread as i am getting serious about getting of drugs. I am doing this to motivate me and also it may help someone who is in a similar situation. I will also be writing up the odd tips i have been given from my counselling sessions for anxiety too.

I always knew that my last time taking drugs was going to be after the weedend away, which just went. I have already messed up so i hope now...that this is it.

Yesterday i had my counselling session (had 3 previous) and my counsellor talked about the 3 C's - Catch, Challange and Change - this is about your thoughts. Become aware of any unwanted or negative thought, catch it, challange it, notice its not good, and change the thought around for the better.

I brought up my concerns about my drinking and thinking about stopping for a while. She told me that right now my drinking, the first aspect is for my health and safty (due to previous blackouts). I have to see that blacking out is what cause alot of things that can mess up your life forever, from injury to death.

I blackout only if i drink spirits. 4 years ago i used to blackout every week until one night some serious sh*t went down and it suddenly hit me that i had to stop drinking spirits. I became a completely different person whilst on spirits. I would turn into a very violent, aggressive and abuseive person...and thats not who i am, unless pushed! Because i am not angry at anyone, i do be angry towrds myself, therefore it can lead me to injury. However, if people are trying to help me i can turn on them in seconds. After one to many messy nights, I did stop drinking spirits for a good bit, i would only have sups or shots here and there but no bottles.

But recently i went back on the spirits. You see, i have only learnt that alcoholism is progressive. So even since i took a break, it didnt help me. Progressive means it can never improve. Im only 21, and at 21 it is a very bad sign to be blacking out so much, especially for the fact it began 4 years ago. So if you are a heavy drinker and are having blackouts please dont ignore them...let it be a sign to you.

So my goal for this week is to try and not drink at all and if i do, i will NOT drink spirits no matter how tempted i am, and no drugs...

Today is friday, so i have choices to make. Do i go out and get fu*ked up, nope cant be doing that. Do i go out and get plastered, and drink all night and possibly all day tomorrow? Do i smoke joints instead of drinking? Do i sit in on my own, as usual? Those i feel right now are my options right now....and the only one i dont like, i know is the right option to pick.

I dont know yet, its still early..........but its time to get serious....
 
Evesmoon

Evesmoon

Member
:) You can beat addictions. I am an addictions counselor. First thing don't think of quitting forever, take it a day at a time, which you have probably heard already. It takes some of the pressure off. Second get some support, someone you can call who would understand when you are Jonsing for something. I do have a whole program for addiction recovery if you are interested, it is done in steps. If not, thats ok, I wish you the best of luck, I know it is not easy. One more thing, when you get the impulse to use distract yourself somehow, the urge will pass, eventually the urges get less and less and may even go away. But one thing that is very important and difficult is that you have to be honest with yourself about wanting sobriety.
If anyone is interested I will post the program so people can use it. I will help when needed, if you or someone needs some further explanation or something or just to talk. Again, Namaste and Good Luck. Evesmoon
 
Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
I had two mates up last night. They left at 2.00am. They left to go to a session. I didnt buy any drink however, i did have two glasses of cider. Me and my mate did go halves of a bag of grass and i did have a couple of joints.

I know i shouldnt have smoked joints but i did. I knew after a while i didnt try hard enough. But in my defence my mates are all proberly still out now off their heads on all sorts!

While sitting in my room, my mate kept asking me did i want some drink and for ages i didnt have any; i kept saying no im grand. Then after a while i said ill had a glass. When i had the glass i was very aware of my pace of drinking. When i went to take a sup of my drink i would delay taking it. Therefore i drank at a very low pace. After that was gone, i kept saying no to drinks being offered. After a bit, i did have another glass but again was very aware of my pace of consumption. So only 2 drinks in total.

Sitting there with them drinking in front of me wasnt so bad but knowing i was home missing a session is what got to me. Well i know i wasnt the best behaved but it could have been ALOT worser!

So on a saturaday morning i was actully awake at 11.30am, when usually i would be still going from the night before! But i have it all ahead of me again tonight. I know that the same is gona be happening. Everyone out, when i have to be stuck at home.

There was something that got to me last night tho, my two mates were talking about travelling to festivals abroad for the summer. Now, last weekend i was at a festival in Holland and it was brillant. But the only thing is (excluding anxiety worries) the drink and drug scene that goes with festivals. So i have to put some thought in to that now, wether i miss out on something i will enjoy because of drugs (still excluding SA) or do i go and put myself in the situation?
 
Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
@ Evesmoon, god i cant think of quitting forever, the concept of forever seems to daunting and therefore i just work in the moment with things!

Is the addiction recovery you are talking about the 12 steps?
 
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Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
Well here i am, its 1.00am and i havnt drank. I decided to get myself a chinese instead with my money. Tough, very tough decision to not head out tonight. It killed me to meet up with my mate and to give her her drink she left in my house last night.

All the phone calls i recieved, everyone of them was the exact same, "ya heading out tonight", ya getting a few drinks", "ya coming session"...all the same questions and all the same answers, "no".

Why is "no" such a hard word?
 
Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
Woke up this morning an 11.00am, dont know how as i couldnt sleep last night. Put off trying to sleep for hours. But still, this whole weekend i have actully woken up at a reasonable hour. I havnt been waking up when its nearly the evening. It also feels great not to be hungover or skaging.

Hopefully i can do the same tonight. If i can get thru today and tonight, im flying (sober!). Thursdays to sundays are the most difficult days. So just one more day...

The amount of times i kept thinking of people out and having a 'good time', while i was couped up in my little bubble all night, i couldnt even count. But im here now feeling good as i was well behaved last night :p

I was thinking last night, am i really ready to do this? do i have what it takes? I am going to keep positive and say yes to both of them questions.

I have to stop needing something. And i will!

I think i'll actully do something today. What tho is the question! Need to get out of bed first!
 
Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
Hottie said:
While sitting in my room, my mate kept asking me did i want some drink and for ages i didnt have any; i kept saying no im grand. Then after a while i said ill had a glass. When i had the glass i was very aware of my pace of drinking. When i went to take a sup of my drink i would delay taking it. Therefore i drank at a very low pace. After that was gone, i kept saying no to drinks being offered. After a bit, i did have another glass but again was very aware of my pace of consumption. So only 2 drinks in total.
Click to expand...

Ya no, just reading that there, i didnt even need those two drinks at that time. I will be more aware of this...but sure if its a social drink its okay.
The problem is its not often i have one social drink. One is a number addiction doesnt not work well with!
 
GloomySunday

GloomySunday

Well-known member
It's all a question of balance. I drank quite heavily when I was younger and took drugs for many years. It was totally out of control. I quit totally. I have been drug free for nearly a decade now.

I started drinking again very recently (after a decade of abstinence) but in moderation. I never get drunk and I don't allow myself to pour a glass of scotch until around 10 pm. By that time, I've hopefully done things and have been productive during the day. Done whatever needs doing. And the drink helps me to unwind. It marks the end of the day and helps me to sleep.

It's actually quite an enjoyable feeling. Just having a couple. Never more than that. Don't deprive yourself the pleasure of a drink so long as it doesn't become something that takes over your life, like it used to do with me. Enjoy the mild buzz of a couple, late at night, when all things are done. Then leave it there and enjoy a good night's rest.

It can actually be beneficial, if used responsibly. Drugs on the other hand...leave them be!
 
Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
Yesterday i ended up having two glasses of cider. I used the same drinking tricks as i did on friday, to slow my consumptin pace down. I really wanted to lash the drink into me, but i refrained from doing so! It sounds so simple, but its sooo difficult. Again, i did smoke joints and i dont know why i do because i become stoned and i cant think or move and become paronoid.
So the weekend went okay, well, better then doing stronger drugs. But still no excuses, the smoke has to stop, it wont help me at all to continue.

I found a site last night and i was having a look throught it, it is for alcoholics, addicts, friends and family of alcoholics/stubstance abusers. It looks like a great site and has got very informative forums within it. I recommend for anyone with addictions to have a look, same goes to people living with alcoholics/addicts, or even people who are struggling with soberity. I have signed up because i think i can get some good advice from people who have plenty of experiences with similar behaviours.

Drug Rehabilitation | Drug Addiction Treatment Center | Alcoholism | Addiction Mental Health | Directory Substance Abuse Detox Programs | SoberRecovery

So i wont be annoying you with my drinking and druging madness no more!! Lets hope for the best!

@GloomySunday - im not giving up drinking but i am becoming aware of it. If im heading out i would drink nearly 4/6 cans before whilst getting ready with my mates (medicating for the anxiety) then go on and spend the rest on the night drinking and usually the next day too. And blackouts are sooo scary. They have happened me way to many times, and the shock when you wake up the next day is terrifing and it never gets any easier. Its like, wtf did i do? Any thing can happen to you.
Also for the fact i will create a scene by going psycho towrads people by abuse and violence. I can be a range of emotions and i have no control over them because idk whats happened until im being told by mates the next day.

I am basically begining to try find a "balance" with drink. But it is not easy at all, especially the way my tolerance levels are really high, i have to drink loads to get on a buzz.

Getting off drugs is my no.1 goal.
 
Evesmoon

Evesmoon

Member
That could change, be careful, it sounds like it helps sleep is telling yourself a reason to continue. Actually alcohol interferes with sleep.
 
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