Acting around the opposite sex?

[TooShyShy]

Hi Kiwong..do you know when all this started for you or why you have this fear at all? Did it get worse as you got older? Thanks

 

[Smokeringz]

The best way to interact with the opposite sex is to be around the opposite sex as much as possible. For basic flirtation, just smile, avoid bad body languge and look them in the eye.

 

[TooShyShy]

I agree the more ''exposure'' you have the more comfortable you should be with them as time goes on, put yourself out there a bit more..practice at work, with female friends and family members..push through the anxiety.

I know its easier said then done.

 

[Interzone]

Family members don't count. In any case, how exactly to you manage to be around the opposite sex more? Being in a public place doesn't really count...

 

[Kiwong]

Hi TooShyShy, I've suffered from some anxiety from high school where I was bullied. It has got gradually much, much worse the last ten years. I'm 48.

 

[TooShyShy]

Have you tried going on meds, counseling, exposure therapy, etc. i imagine at this point you've tried it all.

 

[Kiwong]

Everything but the medication. I refuse to go down that path. Mainly I just try to do my best and live the best I can.

 

[coyote]

Everything but the medication. I refuse to go down that path. Mainly I just try to do my best and live the best I can.

just curious - why do you refuse medications?

 

[punklove]

Yes I'm deffinitley shy around the opposite sex.. It's strange but it happens all the time... Then again (and I'm not trying to sound superficial) it's even more difficult when the person is attractive.

 

[Kiwong]

just curious - why do you refuse medications?

Because I was overmedicated once about three years ago. I refuse to take medication just because my anxiety might be upsetting to a minority.

I think that in some instances Doctors offer medication when they simple don't have the skills to treat their clients effectively with alternative methods such as CBT.

I am still searching for a pyschologist/counsellor who is good at the conservative treatment stuff.

When my knee was bad I saw heaps of doctors/physios that reckoned I would never run again and needed surgery.

It took me two years, but I eventually found a doctor and physio who provided me treatment that worked. I didn't have surgery, and now I am training for a marathon.

 

[coyote]

Because I was overmedicated once about three years ago. I refuse to take medication just because my anxiety might be upsetting to a minority.

I think that is some instances Doctors offer medication when they simple don't have the skills treat their clients effectively with alternative methods such as CBT.

I am still searching for a pyschologist/counsellor who is good at the conservative treatment stuff.

When my knee was bad I saw heaps of doctors/physios that reckoned I would never run again and needed surgery.

It took me two years, but I eventually found a doctro and physio who provided me treatment that worked. I didn't have surgery, and now I am training for a marathon.

That's cool

Sometimes medications can be good - especially with the whole brain chemistry thing

don't rule it out

 

[TooShyShy]

Is it bcuz you feel insecure around a woman you find attractive..bcuz she represents something more to you then a pretty face and body? And quite possibly you hope for something to happen but don't have the nerve to initiate anything?

I ask bcuz for some men this only happens when they want to initiate a relationship..not just a woman passing by that they will never see again.