a weird problem i have

hi guys im new here and just wanted to share a problem i have for years maybe somebody has experience. basically it sounds weird but every time i think about an awkward situation in my past i flip out. i'm sure a lot of people feel bad when remembering stuff like that but for me it litterly hurts in my head. when this kind of memory pops up i just want to scream in my pillow. (of course i dont flip out when people are around but even then i just put my teeth together and stuff (as if i would have hit my toe for example :D))
i really dont know why it is so dramatic for me especially when i'm aware that that awkward situation was not to bad at all. (for example i remember walking up to a girl in the club but really noticing that my walk was weird, and im sure she noticed it to lol)
but yeah, everytime a stupid thought like this pops in my mind just want to do this > :kickingmyself:
the funny thing is even more embarrising situations like me vomiting after drinking a few beer at my class reunion is something i dont care so much about.
does anybody else has a stupid problem like this?


Well-known member
I do that sometimes. Think of something awkward or embarrassing and it's like it just happened a few minutes ago instead of years ago. And, yeah, I feel like screaming into a pillow. Sometimes, if nobody is watching, I smack myself upside the head (not hard) and call myself stupid for allowing such an awkward thing to happen.
i actually would not believe anybody else has this problem :D now i don't feel so alone
(i also smack myself at the head sometimes :p i didn't want to say it here because i thought you guys will think then i'm totally crazy)
I have the same problem.
But the older you get the more you have the benefit of the awkward, cringe worthy experiences being so far in the past that when they pop into your thoughts you can - well I do - tell yourself that you are never going to have to ever see those people again. That fact comforts me. One advantage of getting older I suppose, lol. :bigsmile:


Well-known member
Intrusive thoughts. A common thing with anxiety. They're evil.

I dwell on the past a lot. Random, insignificant things pop into my head and I cringe and I beat my self up over it (not literally). Then I try to counteract one intrusive thought with another basically. I get in these bad habits of trying to block something I don't want to be thinking about with something else (usually something else I shouldn't think about), so I get mad at myself for that. I end up kind of arguing with myself in my head. I call myself a crazy bitch all the time. :kickingmyself:
When I remember my first time whit boyfriend, I thought I will never have sex in my life, but second time is much less awkward. You have to go trough awkward stuff to get to the good stuff. You have to climb that tree to get to the fruit.
It's like having an enemy living in your brain. Fortunately, you can make those thoughts lose power, with the techniques for OCD. There´s a lot of information about that on the web. It seems impossible at first, but it works.