A rant?

[nicole1]

I wish I knew how to post a picture of this... I had a scholarship dinner a few months ago. I had to get on stage to accept the award. Prior to that, I was in front of a camera... My aunt told me a friend of hers saw me on tv... That really freaks me out a bit. That whole night took a lot out of me to try to act normal around A LOT of people... This whole semester feels like I tried to push myself a little too hard to overcome this thing... Now I just don't want to be bothered with anything. I want to rest away from people and not have to be forced to perform normal life duties for a while...

I'm fine with being mediocre. I'm fine with not accepting awards and with being to myself... All of this made me uncomfortable to the point I just want to be in my room all day with nothing but a book... I know this makes me weird but oh well...

 

[kihira]

Not weird at all - some people thrive on getting that sort of attention, for most of us here it would be stressful and de-energizing as well. Think average rather than mediocre.

 

[nicole1]

Why? A mediocre journalist doesn't get awards or have to be forced to attend events like this.... But still, being on a show makes me feel like I probably looked like an idiot talking in front of that camera in a room full of people.

 

[Feathers]

hehe being on TV or just filmed has scared the hell out of me sometimes too... especially when it was unexpected..

maybe think of it as 'exposure therapy' if you can? Otherwise, some people don't accept rewards or just send someone else to take it...?

I do feel that it's good to be anonymous, also makes some things in journalism or such easier...
Could you talk with organizers about how public it would be and if they expect any media or to post stuff online or such? And then maybe decide on the basis of that if you'd come or not?

Some authors have the preference of being called a 'recluse' or such by their publisher, and they just don't go to any media 'do's.. Not sure if that's still possible nowadays, with all the publicity frenzy etc.
Maybe some event organizers or publishers/media houses would still understand...?

You can publish stuff under nicknames too, or in untraditional ways...

 

[Feathers]

Oh, and you probably looked just fine... Look at what kind of people we see on TV or online... It's more important what they say and what they stand for, in many cases...

 

[nicole1]

I kinda plan on that... I want to work in a newsroom or from home if possible. Plus, this event was for a scholarship.... I felt like I had to go...