Littlemissteacherlady
Active member
I have to share my euphoria with people that understand my situation...
Today, I held my first assembly. Yes, I stood at the front of the room and looked down at hundreds of little faces below me, and plenty of teachers and teaching assistants along the sides of the room.
I looked at them, and I felt joy! Instead of fretting that they were judging me, that I looked ridiculous and nervous, I just felt the buzz from my audience. To anyone else, it was nothing. I only spoke for a couple of minutes, but it was an exciting and enjoyable 2 minutes.
A year ago, just the thought of this would have given me palpatations. And when I was told it was happening today, I felt very uncomfotable, I felt the panic but if what I used to feel was 90% panic, this was more like 20%. I took a beta blocker, not normal practise for me but this is my first big instance of public speaking, and I sat and wrote down what I would say and practised it in my head. Then I wrote down all the wonderus benefits of making the presentation, and how it would help me grow as a person. When it was time, I adopted a really positive, playful body language - i actually did this subconsciously - i was being myself. I was actually in a public speaking situation and I could be myself!
Usually, I am completely consumed with feelings of panic and anxiety. So much so that I can't get the words out. But I was actually able to loosen up and focus on what I was there to do; to give something back to the kids.
Like I said, it was a couple of minutes that will never be remembered, that no one else will ever think of again....except me. I wish cherish this experience now forever as the first time I have spoken to a large number of people, albeit mostly 11 and under, and really enjoyed myself.
I cannot fail to mention the best part - I was dressed as a giant banana. Yes, that's right...it was superhero day at school and I was dressed as a giant banana. That made it even easier. I've read loads of things about distancing yourself from negative public speaking memories, and they all say that you should replay the situation in the silliest possible way. Now, usually I imagine myself wearing a pink wig and irish dancing at the front of the school? But who needs that now when I have a memory of myself as a human banana speaking at the front?! Awedome brilliance.......
My only hope is that next time it happens, I can use memories of this wonderful experience to go further!
Today, I held my first assembly. Yes, I stood at the front of the room and looked down at hundreds of little faces below me, and plenty of teachers and teaching assistants along the sides of the room.
I looked at them, and I felt joy! Instead of fretting that they were judging me, that I looked ridiculous and nervous, I just felt the buzz from my audience. To anyone else, it was nothing. I only spoke for a couple of minutes, but it was an exciting and enjoyable 2 minutes.
A year ago, just the thought of this would have given me palpatations. And when I was told it was happening today, I felt very uncomfotable, I felt the panic but if what I used to feel was 90% panic, this was more like 20%. I took a beta blocker, not normal practise for me but this is my first big instance of public speaking, and I sat and wrote down what I would say and practised it in my head. Then I wrote down all the wonderus benefits of making the presentation, and how it would help me grow as a person. When it was time, I adopted a really positive, playful body language - i actually did this subconsciously - i was being myself. I was actually in a public speaking situation and I could be myself!
Usually, I am completely consumed with feelings of panic and anxiety. So much so that I can't get the words out. But I was actually able to loosen up and focus on what I was there to do; to give something back to the kids.
Like I said, it was a couple of minutes that will never be remembered, that no one else will ever think of again....except me. I wish cherish this experience now forever as the first time I have spoken to a large number of people, albeit mostly 11 and under, and really enjoyed myself.
I cannot fail to mention the best part - I was dressed as a giant banana. Yes, that's right...it was superhero day at school and I was dressed as a giant banana. That made it even easier. I've read loads of things about distancing yourself from negative public speaking memories, and they all say that you should replay the situation in the silliest possible way. Now, usually I imagine myself wearing a pink wig and irish dancing at the front of the school? But who needs that now when I have a memory of myself as a human banana speaking at the front?! Awedome brilliance.......
My only hope is that next time it happens, I can use memories of this wonderful experience to go further!
