A couple of questions

[MrJones]

I will just randomly post questions about SA, depression or whatever. If anyone wants to answer one of more questions, or even make new questions (related SA or the other disorders from this forum, not just random questions ), feel free to do so. If you just want to read the questions and answer to yourself, great, just thinking about it could be helpful. If you're not even going to read it, I don't blame you



Do you try to get better, as in you do things like getting out more, exposure therapy, etc, but you feel like you don't deserve to get better? Could this make getting better extremely hard or even impossible?

Do you feel like you don't deserve to get anything you want because you are not good enough, because you're a bad person, etc?



I just blanked out because I was doing something else.... well, I will try to make more questions sometime.

 

[Boby]

No to both questions.I would respond with another question:What have I done to consider myself unworthy or bad?I'm a 'victim' of genes,the environment where I lived,events in my life and society.

I will post some questions later,I'm a bit tired now.

 

[MrJones]

No to both questions.I would respond with another question:What have I done to consider myself unworthy or bad?I'm a 'victim' of genes,the environment where I lived,events in my life and society.

It's not ration, in my case. I just am. I don't do any good, and I'm a burden to my family and society. I can only give bad things to this world.

Now the question is, how to keep trying and not giving up when thinking this way?


Also, if there is absolutely no motivation to do anything productive and you don't even want to force yourself to do it because you don't feel like you should get better, what to do? Just waste your life away?

 

[Nathália]

Do you try to get better, as in you do things like getting out more, exposure therapy, etc, but you feel like you don't deserve to get better? Could this make getting better extremely hard or even impossible?

Do you feel like you don't deserve to get anything you want because you are not good enough, because you're a bad person, etc?

.

1. I go to therapy and I'm pretty sure she will try to make me expose myself at some point. It really does not make me feel better to go outside or sit somewhere random by myself. I am trying to change caring about what people think and live my life the way I want without being so sensitive, it's hard for me because I'm emotional and I dislike that trait in myself.

2. Sometimes I do, I dislike the spot I am in. I hardly ever feel like a bad person that does not deserve nothing, because I wouldn't like if people saw that in me, but I do feel not good enough for most people.

 

[Boby]

Now the question is, how to keep trying and not giving up when thinking this way?

Well getting rid of that way of thinking might be the only way.It's hard to keep trying with such a counterproductive way of thinking.The thing is you are not a burden to your family or society because of your free will,is not like you are capable but you don't wana make yourself useful.There's a quote from Epicurus about God "...Is he able,but not willing?Than he is malevolent...",that can work for humans too and the way I see it you are not able but more than willing so you are far from a malevolent person or a burden to your family or society.
Think of it this way:Should I feel bad,unworthy or a burden to humanity every time I eat because there are like 1 billion starving people in the world?No,of course not.I'm more than willing to stop famine in the world but is beyond my capabilities.

Also, if there is absolutely no motivation to do anything productive and you don't even want to force yourself to do it because you don't feel like you should get better, what to do? Just waste your life away?

Well it depends on how you see life.Wasting your life implies that life has a purpose ,which is not true.A car might have purpose ,to be driven and transport things,but asking what's the purpose of life is a silly question is like asking what's the purpose of a rock you find on the ground.
So the purpose of life is an abstract notion,you decide what will be the purpose of your life,if you decide that you are not going to do anything productive than that is your purpose and nobody can say you wasted your life.

 

[EscapeArtist]

A: Yes. I actually did feel totally anxiety and depression-free at one point and purposely reversed my progress because I felt happier and more comfortable than everybody around me now, and didn't see how I deserved that while everybody else still suffered... Now I struggle to reach that point again because I'm scared the same thing will happen.



Honestly Mr Jones... You have to choose to work on liking yourself. It's easy to beat yourself up, that way you don't have to cringe when other people don't like you because heck, you hate yourself so much more anyways! I remember as a kid, that's when I started to hate myself, when my family would fight with me and I would say "okay fine, I hate myself too! I hate myself!" to try and be on their side and stop the fight. The way I see it now, if you don't love yourself, no one can, and until you decide to start changing that part of yourself, nobody can help you.

A really good way to start caring about yourself is to start by doing small things that make you feel cared for... Eating better, or exercising, letting yourself just take a day off from the voices that tell you what you should do (even if you don't normally do anything, anyways!) or letting yourself do silly comfortable childlike things like play gameboy or colour with crayons lol...heheheh. Also, lifestyle... If you eat healthier, exercise, supplements, etc, you will feel better and have more energy to take care of yourself in other ways (making friends eventually, cleaning up your house, etc), and feeling better becomes addictive.

 

[Nathália]

^ good advice.

 

[MikeyC]

Do you try to get better, as in you do things like getting out more, exposure therapy, etc, but you feel like you don't deserve to get better? Could this make getting better extremely hard or even impossible?

Interesting question. Yes, sort of. I try to expose myself to different situations but then again it doesn't always make me feel any better about myself or how I'm trying to fight off anything.

 

[MrJones]

Thanks to everyone who posted in this thread.

 

[Srijita52]

I will just randomly post questions about SA, depression or whatever. If anyone wants to answer one of more questions, or even make new questions (related SA or the other disorders from this forum, not just random questions ), feel free to do so. If you just want to read the questions and answer to yourself, great, just thinking about it could be helpful. If you're not even going to read it, I don't blame you



Do you try to get better, as in you do things like getting out more, exposure therapy, etc, but you feel like you don't deserve to get better? Could this make getting better extremely hard or even impossible?

Do you feel like you don't deserve to get anything you want because you are not good enough, because you're a bad person, etc?

1. I want to try to expose myself to different situations but I don't do it enough. I always let my anxiety win. I need to try harder though.

2. Yeah, I feel like I'm not good enough, I don't have enough motivation to improve. I guess I'm not a bad person but I'm not a very good person either. I'm somewhat average but I'm okay with it though.

 

[MrJones]

What can you do when you feel there is nothing else you can do, when you have tried very hard everything you could, when you are exhausting and you want to do nothing, absolutely nothing else than die?

(after getting professional help for months and feel even much worse than in the beginning)

 

[MikeyC]

What can you do when you feel there is nothing else you can do, when you have tried very hard everything you could, when you are exhausting and you want to do nothing, absolutely nothing else than die?

(after getting professional help for months and feel even much worse than in the beginning)

I think with therapy, it's supposed to get worse before it gets better. My friend with Asperger's said it took him 7 months before he started feeling any better. Unfortunately these things take time.

However, it doesn't stop us from being exhausted and unwilling to try. I know the feeling as I am experiencing it now. It's terrible. Hang in there, Jonesy, and chat to me whenever.

 

[Srijita52]

I'm sorry both of you are feeling such way. I wish I could be anymore positive atm but I'm also feeling the same. Stay strong guys.

 

[dragonoth]

I think the only thing you can do is stick it out no matter how long it takes. I'm not saying you should be expecting a miracle one day where you suddenly become SA/depression-free and you notice it too. Change is gradual. You won't even notice it until you're reflecting on your life from a number of years gone by. Continue doing whatever you do and finding a bit of joy in the littlest of things. That is more important imo. If you think there is nothing more to your life then it's gonna seem that way to you. I don't want to die yet. I'm still young. I still believe there's more in store for me in the coming years yet I just have to be patient until I stumble upon it by chance or whatever even though right now it feels like my life has come to a standstill. I believe in change - the one thing you can be certain of in life.

 

[Ignace]

I do feel like I don't deserve a lot of the things I have. I'm trying to change that thinking behaviour by thinking that other ppl have it too and that I'm no not worth less. Especially if you consider how many a**holes have everything someone can desire.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Do you try to get better, as in you do things like getting out more, exposure therapy, etc, but you feel like you don't deserve to get better? Could this make getting better extremely hard or even impossible?

I do try to get better. But then I will undo the little progress I make. Like one of my daily goals is to take a 20 minute walk outside at the minimum. I spent the past three days indoors never taking a step outside. Today I did walk for about 30 minutes and it was nice, but it felt so strange at first.

I do tend to punish myself. I used to self-injure. Now I binge (just how many cups of ice cream do I really need?!) I know it will make me feel terrible and maybe that is why I do it.

Do you feel like you don't deserve to get anything you want because you are not good enough, because you're a bad person, etc?

Hmmm...yeah, I guess I do feel that way deep down inside. Like I deserve this crap. But at the same time I do wonder what I did to deserve this. I don't hurt people (at least not intentionally...). I have never killed any animals. I am just really scared. That is my weakness.

Every time I am feeling super ****ty I try to remember it will be okay. Just taking it moment by moment...