Surviving Weddings....

Polly_Princess

Active member
So we've all backed out of after-work drinks with co-workers, or a party with a friend, or Sunday brunch at your relatives....but there's no backing out of being the Maid of Honour at your sister's wedding!!!

I just don't know how I'm going to survive. Think about all the social contact involved in a wedding. It's an ENTIRE DAY of social contact and ettiquette. I'm scared I'm going to end up hating it, or in a panic attack, especially as my dress (which I can't change- it's not my choice!), draws a lot of attention to me. I'm also doing one of the readings. AND the bridal party is two people (i.e. me and someone else), so I am rather obvious in all the photos and stuff.

What do I do? The bride (that is, my sister) knows about my OCD, but not my social phobia. I've talked to her about this and she's told me that I need to seek help and not just run away. I know she's right, but what do I do to survive the wedding?!?
 

EasySkankin

Well-known member
Perhaps tell your sister about your social phobia. If you don't end up doing that however, I would say, and I say this from personal experience, go see a doctor and see if you can be prescribed some medication. Medication can really lower your anxiety tremendously in a very short time. Don't rely on it though, use it to give you that extra strength that you need. I would say it instantly gives you the progress that 2 or 3 monthes of therapy would - but doesn't solve your social anxiety :)

Anyway, good luck. I'm absolutely sure that nothing bad will happen.
 

sevenroses

Well-known member
I just came back from a wedding reception. It wasn't that bad. A lot of people kept going up to me relatives and coworkers saying "oh why don't you dance" lol. I was the only single guy who didn't participate in the entourage toss. But I survived. Wasn't too too bad. It's nice to stick to one relative and just have a one on one conversation with that person the whole time. Good luck bro.
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
My sister got married last November and I was in the wedding party. I don't know why they needed three guys and three girls, though. I got to wear a tux, stand around, and look pretty all day.

Okay, maybe not. My sister basically said "I trust you. Surprise me," to Mom, so most of what was planned was a secret until the wedding day. Then they bumped the date back two weeks from Halloween so more relatives could attend. If you bother to look up the day and date from last year, they got married on Friday, November 13th.

So my brother and I were running around like madmen the whole day, making sure everything was taken care of, running smoothly, etc. So it was a slightly unconventional wedding. But you can be sure that I took every chance I possibly could to run away from everyone. And as miserable as I was getting dressed up and socializing with people I wouldn't give the time of day to, it didn't bother me too much. It was all for my sister, and I'm glad that she enjoyed it.

So you will survive it. Just remember that everyone will be focused on your sister, and keep telling yourself that you're doing it so your sister has something she can happily remember for the rest of her life. And pretend you're having the time of your life, too. Because once it's all over, you'll hopefully never have to do it for the rest of your life. And you might even enjoy yourself, too. ;)

And since women are supposed to be crazy over things like weddings, here's a picture of the wedding party. The pale one standing by himself with the forced-looking smile is me, in case you couldn't tell.

Party.jpg


And once again I'm reminded that I had to wear a "tangerine" vest and tie. Really what the f:eek: kind of color is tangerine?

Anyway, just do your best to enjoy yourself and you should be fine. For your reading, pretend that everyone wants and needs to hear what you're reading; and read it loud enough so that everyone can clearly hear you. Pretend that there's a deaf guy in the back of the room, and it's your job to make sure he hears what your sister wants you to read. And keep telling yourself that it could be worse: you could be the bride!

:D
 

Steve23

Well-known member
Next month I'm best man at my friend's wedding. As such, I have a little speech/toast I've prepared but I'm anxious as heck to deliver it! This will also be my first wedding experience so I'm a bit nervous how it will pan out.

Wish you luck with yours!
 

dottie

Well-known member
My sister got married last November and I was in the wedding party. I don't know why they needed three guys and three girls, though. I got to wear a tux, stand around, and look pretty all day.

Okay, maybe not. My sister basically said "I trust you. Surprise me," to Mom, so most of what was planned was a secret until the wedding day. Then they bumped the date back two weeks from Halloween so more relatives could attend. If you bother to look up the day and date from last year, they got married on Friday, November 13th.

So my brother and I were running around like madmen the whole day, making sure everything was taken care of, running smoothly, etc. So it was a slightly unconventional wedding. But you can be sure that I took every chance I possibly could to run away from everyone. And as miserable as I was getting dressed up and socializing with people I wouldn't give the time of day to, it didn't bother me too much. It was all for my sister, and I'm glad that she enjoyed it.

So you will survive it. Just remember that everyone will be focused on your sister, and keep telling yourself that you're doing it so your sister has something she can happily remember for the rest of her life. And pretend you're having the time of your life, too. Because once it's all over, you'll hopefully never have to do it for the rest of your life. And you might even enjoy yourself, too. ;)

And since women are supposed to be crazy over things like weddings, here's a picture of the wedding party. The pale one standing by himself with the forced-looking smile is me, in case you couldn't tell.

Party.jpg


And once again I'm reminded that I had to wear a "tangerine" vest and tie. Really what the f:eek: kind of color is tangerine?

Anyway, just do your best to enjoy yourself and you should be fine. For your reading, pretend that everyone wants and needs to hear what you're reading; and read it loud enough so that everyone can clearly hear you. Pretend that there's a deaf guy in the back of the room, and it's your job to make sure he hears what your sister wants you to read. And keep telling yourself that it could be worse: you could be the bride!

:D

well you look great! and you seem so much more kind than my mel gibson of a brother haha
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
well you look great! and you seem so much more kind than my mel gibson of a brother haha

First, it's the suit that looks great. I'm just the guy they tricked into wearing it.

And as kind as I may seem, lately I've been a little short with everyone. At least with those in close proximity to me.

So your brother is a short guy with a Russian ex-girlfriend? What could that wedding have been like?

At least I survived this one. And as long as my sister's still married and my brother's still single I'm good for the rest of my life.

;)
 
My sister has a wedding soon, but luckily they know I am totally useless when it comes to things like that, and have pretty much written my out of the wedding with nothing more then a guest spot. Which is fine, though it does suck in the fact that it is my sister and I am doing nothing, but oh well.

Oh and seeing the suit, I luckily don't have to wear one of those, so glad.
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
I hate weddings. I always feel so out of place. I don't get up and dance. I don't drink. I just sit there. At one wedding I was at, I felt so awful that I sat in the bathroom and cried for a while. And one of my cousins is getting married next month. It's gonna suck. We have a large family and a lot of my relatives are too loud and outgoing for me. I dread the possibility of ever having to be a bridesmaid, but then if it happens it'll be once or twice at most. I don't have any sisters, just a brother, so that's good. And I only have two friends, neither of whom I'm particularly close with. One has never had a boyfriend. The other, only one long term and a few short-lived relationships, but nothing as of late. If she ever gets married, I wouldn't want to be maid of honour. I've known her longer than her other friends, but then we're not super close. Nothing's happening anytime soon anyway. And I have no plans to ever have a wedding myself. If I get married, I'll gladly just go have it done by a judge.

My sister has a wedding soon, but luckily they know I am totally useless when it comes to things like that, and have pretty much written my out of the wedding with nothing more then a guest spot. Which is fine, though it does suck in the fact that it is my sister and I am doing nothing, but oh well.

Oh and seeing the suit, I luckily don't have to wear one of those, so glad.

Is there anything you can do behind the scenes, like setup/clean up/organizing/planning, so you don't feel so useless?
 
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