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So this was it: Christmas Eve, I decided I had to make a change in my life. So, since that night, I have worked out every single night (in my cold, dark basement, of course), treadmill, weights, whatever, ate no junk food, only vegetarian healthy food, no smoking wacky stuff, no drinking 8O ...

So a few nights ago, I went to see a play. It was at a high school, but many ages of children and adults performing. It amazed me, how these little kids could get up on that stage and sing, not even appearing nervous. And here I am in the crowd, in a darkened room, feeling apprehensive...

You know what I hate?? Going into the bank! I can't do it. First, it's the waiting that gets me, and I know everybody in there is being watched somewhat; It's a bank for pete's sake!! :roll: But then the waiting in line, and line forming behind me. And knowing I have to speak with teller...

I have many, here are a few: have to check my purse and wallet at least 10 times before leaving the house, make sure everything is there, try to use the bathroom many times before I leave, hate to have to go in public washroom :oops: !!!! Sunglasses, always, so I can hide behind them 8) For...

Today it's looking a lot like spring outside! :evil: It's nice and all, for most people, but I prefer winter when I can much more easily hide inside my house, by the fire :) hide out from the world. Much more difficult to do this is the warmer weather. Also, in the wintertime, it gets dark...

Happy Easter to all who celebrate!! But I'm still trying to think of reason can't go to my Mom's for Easter supper. :x Does anyone else dread holidays, birthdays, bridal showers, weddings, whatever. I have this sinking feeling weeks before such events, cause have to get together with family...

Had a really shit day! Why is is some days I can be moderately ok in certain situations, some days are horrible, all around :x Some day I would like to feel like a normal human being :evil: O.K. done whining(for now :wink: )

I watched in quiet amazement, a woman standing in a store doorway(of course I wait in car, I always wait in the car). She was totally oblivious to anyone else, maybe she was waiting for a ride. She talked on her cell phone, ate a snack, smiled at people. All the things I cannot do...

Today, I had a meeting; no big deal. I didn't have to talk, that I was aware of. Really psyched myself up for this," no reason to be nervous". Then, as soon as I walked in the door, it hit me instantly. I couldn't speak properly, even say hello properly. Then, they held this draw for these...

- I wear tinted glasses for distance, but wear them all the time when I go out, seem to create barrier between me and everyone else; 8) - have to really pshyche myself up to make a simple phone call, and get out of breath or something while talking, can't wait to get off the phone :? will not...

As far back as I remember, my words don't come out as loudly as I would like, sometimes they come out weird, like I'm all choked up or something, I hate it. I rarely raise my voice in public, people can usually hardly hear me, always have to repeat myself. Anyone else have this problem? :cry:

How do you go to get help when, first, it's hard to make the phone call to begin with, why do I get nervous on the phone anyway?? Second, the thought of walking into the doctor's office and waiting in waiting room, then explain situation is more than I can handle. Why does such simple mundane...