I seem to be obsessed with avatars. The new photo is better than the old one. You have always had an actual photo of yourself, where you are actually visible, not just the eyes or one side of the face or standing back to the camera, which is good.
Awww and thank you for your message. I am doing alright. The cancer is under control for now which is a good thing but I am still under close watch by my oncologists etc. I got it the first time when I was 15 and it's basically been a constant struggle since then since it's a late recurring type and has the nasty habit of coming back over and over.. but you know... just another one of life's problems that you gotta ride out like a wave.. Sometimes you crash and burn but there is always another wave to catch... At least that's what I gotta keep telling myself.
Anyway life still sucks, even more than normal lately which I didn't think was possible but I'm still alive and breathing. (Haven't decided if that's a good thing or not yet :<) Thanks again for your message, really. It means a lot. This place really is great for support especially when you need it most.. that's why I came back after my 7 months hiatus from this site. I was just... too lonely for words... so thank you!
I have to say that you are not ugly. There was a thread yesterday entitled "I am ugly", and that person is not ugly either. That is a really common feeling.
Other people have written in the same way as yourself, and things are now better for them e.g. UnOccupied, island_chic (formerly Kitkat).
Yes, there is a biological or genetic basis, but there are people with the same susceptibility who are not affected, since there is an environmental factor too. So biology is not destiny - mitigating the environmental factors via Cognitive Behavioural Therapy work weakens the pyramid by removing one of the walls.
Read your post today. I identified in so many ways. I felt compelled to write you because I know something about difficult thoughts and feelings, especially about myself. Somehow it helped me feel not so alone. So thanks.
I'm really sorry about how you're feeling. I hope things get better soon. I wish I could say something helpful but giving advice is one of the things I suck at, and my life is totally f***d up too anyway. One thing that is pretty easy to notice though is that you're not ugly and probably not fat either. Judging by your picture, I think you are really beautiful.
I've read back over some of your previous posts, with your attractive looks you will have no trouble fulfilling your dreams - keep working away at the anxiety. I am curious as to your name change though, what was it?? (dont have to tell)