Devrium

Where you been? Miss you...

I found a loophole

Mods forced me to deleted my *flick* siggy >:C

Well I would ask you to consider this, does he truly know who he is? Does he have the inner personal qualities that you would value and wish to have by your side? Do you believe that he represents everything you would wish to have, or at least as close to that ideal as possible? Does he truly know what he is doing and what he means when those actions are committed? These are the sorts of questions one must consider in a situation like this. I understand your sentiments and regrets in leaving him seeing as how you two were once so close, yet the reality must be viewed as well.

Ha, I just noticed that too while reading posts

Ja, jag kan tala Svenska I guess you learned from your Swedish ex boyfriend? Speaking of boyfriends, what do you like about Ryan? Not to doubt who he is as a person, but I'm just wondering. There must be something underneath all of that reluctance. Yeah, love... the best thing and the most terrible thing.
About your mother, try not to blame yourself for her silent treatment. You said yourself, she's... not always with us, in her head. It doesn't sound like she needs a reason to go wild. No, you are not that terrible... I promise.

The Seattle Sonics, basketball team You should know this!

(Had to post this in two parts... I think you've earned the record for the longest message on my page, ever. Hooray for you.)

Yeah, I have interest in Sweden, too... I'm learning the language at the moment. I can write, say, and read a little.
Yeah, Seattle is really nice. The cool indie/alternative crowd. I used to stay at this house overlooking Lake Washington, pretty beautiful. The Sonics left, so I'm not too pleased about that (that probably went over your head).

So did you attempt to work all of that food off?

That's really tough :/
"You can't love someone until you love yourself" bla bla bla... I don't believe that. If anything, my bull**** only intensifies my love for someone. Ryan has to want to be loved, you know, meeting you half way. You're a very nice girl and I'm sure there are many guys out there who would love to have you. Maybe even one who is passionate about your practice. One who WANTS to talk to you every time you sign on messenger.
I've been known to be the clingy type, too.. it's ok. Well, to some. And I can understand your loneliness, especially with where you live. I live in a big city, but it doesn't really make anything better.
Being in love is hard work, sometimes.
Any news on him?

hihihihihi

it was daen ma nut it!!

cheers for accepting my friend request thingy

aye awright, ahl try it again, but see if the results aw come oot wrang, im holding you responsible ::

oh was there instructions on it! i never noticed

Greetings to you. I have heard and seen your story of how you have suffered in your life, and I must say I am greatly moved. You most certainly deserve more than that heathen who claims to be your lover. Why would you condemn yourself to such agony, if you do not mind my asking so.

Uhh, sorry, is his name Ryan? Brain fart time...

It's funny, I was going to move to Seattle recently but the plans changed. I'm still considering Washington (Seattle, too) and Oregon, since these are my preferred places of the country (and since I can't go to Europe, yet). We should just trade places. Problem solved. Yeah, same here, my deadline is sometime around the summer, June maybe. It's nice that you'll have the support from the center, wherever you choose to go.

About Ryan, wow. I like your attitude though, not willing to play games and recognizing that he isn't in a position to be everything you need him to be. I didn't know you were ready to settle down and get married again... it sounds as if he is so far from that, of course. You need someone who feels just as passionate about all of that, but I know you love him. Yes, please don't wait around forever... some people spend their whole life waiting. Sad.

Yeah, get the ice cream, eat the whole thing.

I really have no idea where I'm going, but soon. I don't have a choice. It's f**king scary. I can't even function in this house, let alone on my own in the world. I don't know, either. What are we gonna do...

They always say "give it time" but sometimes it's just too agonizing to sit around and wait for an answer. Maybe you could email him instead of chatting with him. I really don't understand how he didn't speak to you, considering what you guys are to each other. That's wrong. When I go somewhere in the near future, I'll be going alone too. Ahhhh!

That's what I find most interesting... that it forces you to take full responsibility for the circumstances in your life, instead of placing all of your faith in a God, waiting for things to happen. Yeah, we all feel defeated sometimes, and I partly know how you feel right now because I was recently in a similar place. I really hope you're able to overcome - easier said than done. So, obviously something happened with you two since we last spoke... did he leave you? Are your plans for California still on?

You say your practice is the only thing you have going for you, but keep in mind that this website is full of people who want to hear what you have to say.

I'm sorry to hear that your heart is breaking :/

That sounds really interesting... what is that event like, exactly? A concert? Yeah, I've heard that exposure to different settings is important, but I can't bring myself to do that yet.

Hope things are better with your boyfriend.
That mom of yours treating you any better?
Thanks for being concerned