I can't connect with anyone
- Thread starter Gieky
- Start date
skins
1
well the type of life you live is still just as valid as anyone elses...don't compare your life to others and you will feel a bit better about it.
There is certain negative neuro feedback loops occurring in your brain that prevent you from both enjoying s-o-c-I-a-l-I-z-I-ng and being good at it.
All you can do is keep persisting at trying it, if you desire something badly enough you can start to make in roads eventually. You have to be commited though and not just take a backseat and give up when you feel things are going bad. Eventually you will encounter positive social interactions which will start to erode at these negative feedback loops...the more of these you encounter the greater chance you have of changing the wiring of your neuro transmitter pathways.
There is certain negative neuro feedback loops occurring in your brain that prevent you from both enjoying s-o-c-I-a-l-I-z-I-ng and being good at it.
All you can do is keep persisting at trying it, if you desire something badly enough you can start to make in roads eventually. You have to be commited though and not just take a backseat and give up when you feel things are going bad. Eventually you will encounter positive social interactions which will start to erode at these negative feedback loops...the more of these you encounter the greater chance you have of changing the wiring of your neuro transmitter pathways.
skins
1
Also do you suffer from depression as well? I've found that over the years i've been able to hone my social skills to a pass score from pure persistence like I talked about above...but the trouble comes from the depression I suffer which makes me less talkative, which inturn doesn't lend well to making friends or having relationships.
The better mood I am in the better chances of success I have at the so******ing game. I'm just saying be aware of other factors other then just anxiety.
The better mood I am in the better chances of success I have at the so******ing game. I'm just saying be aware of other factors other then just anxiety.
Gieky
Well-known member
I hope you are right about that. I was never good at social situations, but it used to be a lot easier. It is so much worse now. I go out and talk with people, my own friends, but people kinda ignore what I say and go back to talking to each other instead. Fine, I get it, I have nothing of importance to say. So I eventually get the drift. I just shut up and don't say anything, then why do I even bother to go out and try.
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skins
1
ahh i see what you're saying and it's a tough one to answer, and i've experienced this many times too. Sometimes people will just not value your opinion and there's not a lot you can do about it. If they think they are better then you or just plain find you boring then this is what can happen, and if you find yourself amongst a group of them then its tough going. Some people you meet though will value your opinion, i gurantee it, you just have to concentrate on hanging around these people.
BlueWeepingRose
Well-known member
I'm recently going through this too, I'm 31 years old and live in a small city. I feel like it's so hard for me to meet people around in my area since I didn't grow up here. I'm originally from the north and I moved to Florida in 2003. Hopefully you'll end up meeting people who will connect with you. Don't give up hope okay. ~hugs~
anomicdeer
Well-known member
Same here. Except I managed to get in a relationship that was bad from the start, have a child and lose a lot. Now it's like before I left and tried to be "social" except I have a child that I have to take care if while relying on others to help :/ I have no car, no job and not going to school at the moment. I try not to compare my life but I'm sure when I'm not there will be people saying something about me and looking down on me and once I think I'm doing okay I'll find out what those people are saying and I'll be back to my hermit shell.
anomicdeer
Well-known member
I wish I wasn't depressed. I have bad social skill and it just doesn't help having SA AND depression.
planetweirdo
Well-known member
I also find it difficult to connect with others. I think I'm what most people would consider to be very eccentric. I created imaginary friends to make up for my social isolation.
Earthcircle
Well-known member
That's how I feel.
Gieky
Well-known member
That is a really honest observation. It would be pretty cool to know that nobody is interested in what you have to say without feeling like you want to die inside. If I cannot learn to be social, I would like to have that confidence in myself someday
Gieky
Well-known member
I could only imagine in a small town not knowing anyone. I am 30, live in a large town and it is still hard lol. Thank you for the encouragement! I hope you meet people too.
Livemylife
Well-known member
I can't connect with anyone either. These creatures called humans completely perplex me...I hardly understand their behaviors and thoughts.
It wasn't until a few months ago that I learned such a thing as "emotional connection" existed thanks to a post I stumbled upon online. I never would've known such a thing existed otherwise. But I knew I did not experience it with anyone, including my friends at the time. So yeah that discovery got me one step closer to understanding the creatures. I've read up on emotional connection a lot on forums now; it is a very important thing to them.
It wasn't until a few months ago that I learned such a thing as "emotional connection" existed thanks to a post I stumbled upon online. I never would've known such a thing existed otherwise. But I knew I did not experience it with anyone, including my friends at the time. So yeah that discovery got me one step closer to understanding the creatures. I've read up on emotional connection a lot on forums now; it is a very important thing to them.
Richey
Well-known member
Welcome to the club.
I find many people very self absorbed, live off their ego, it's always about them
I try to be nice, fun, interested, but people seem so locked into their world that unless you have a superstar personality, they don't care.
That's just trying to make a friend, let alone a relationship.
I find many people very self absorbed, live off their ego, it's always about them
I try to be nice, fun, interested, but people seem so locked into their world that unless you have a superstar personality, they don't care.
That's just trying to make a friend, let alone a relationship.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah can definitely relate, there, Richey. Especially wi' me bein' an introvert person tryin' tae interact wi' loud, outgoin', confident people. Y'know, the exact opposite uh me in every way.
Livemylife
Well-known member
Haha maybe attention is their version of emotional connection. I don't know.
Livemylife
Well-known member
I've resolved I just don't mesh with those types of people. Plus they can be a bit overwhelming.