How to have a social life as a single person?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. About the future.. and it terrifies me. How am I supposed to create some form of social life when almost all my relatives, acquaintances and friends are married and have kids?

I know they think I'm a loser (I am), and I expect them to reject me, if I contacted them regularly. Anybody else afraid of the future because of this?

I honestly have accepted the fact that I'll probably never find a partner; I'm extremely shy and lack confidence. Besides, no girl could make me happy, or cure my social anxiety and extreme shyness. Not having a partner is not my biggest problem; not having a social life is..

with that attitude, you will NEVER find anyone. get rid of negative thoughts like that and start replacing them with positive ones. tell yourself you will find someone to spend the rest of your life with. you will get better with your social anxiety. you have the wrong mindset to achieve anything right now, change it...

and you aren't a loser. loser's kill people, rape people.

I think there is a misunderstanding, my question is about creating a social life being a single person. How do people do it, doesn't being single make it much harder?

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So few replies. I thought it was an important topic..

I know what you mean about the pool of friends. I feel the exact same way. I also have no friends and I have never had a gf before. It seems like everyone else is light years ahead of me in the relationship dept. Without any friends it's very had to have the self confidence to do anything.

thats why im so thankful for the one friend that i do have. without him, who knows where i'd be.

For a start you cant think that you are a loser, that wont help. You need to not be afraid of the future, dont give it much thought. Ok obviously its important, but if you think about it to much you will forget now, the present. Now is the time of action, a time of change, a time which you can control in the current and close future. Take little steps to building friends, just being a bit more lets say assertive than before, why not in my view, you have nothing to loose.

Siberdib said:

For a start you cant think that you are a loser, that wont help.

Click to expand...

Frankly, I'm not even a loser, but rather a sub loser. I'm nearly 32, don't have friends, and never had a girlfriend.

im the same way im 21 never had a girlfriend and probably never will the friends i have are from when i was very young(elementary school) but ive drifted apart from them over the years because i cant initiate anything social i just cant have a conversation with anyone im too scared i might say something stupid. the fact is im a loser

To have a social life as a single person, you might want to join some clubs or something... Take up a hobby you are interested in? You can meet people there.

Also, your family isn't going to reject you just because you are single. i mean.. if you call EVERY SINGLE DAY and want to spend time with them EVERY WAKING MINUTE.. They might get a little annoyed.. but I don't think that's your intention.

You need to stop thinking you are a loser, and know that you can achieve friendships and close bonds with people.. I find it troubling that people thinking they will never have girlfriends or boyfriends just because they have social phobia or something of the like. I have mild social phobia and ocd.. And damnit! I HAVEN'T LOST HOPE! There is always hope!

So.. I suggest putting some REAL effort into making friends. Don't mope around thinking you are a loser and don't know how to talk to people.. And say you tried... And yea it's gonna be tough at first.. but for christ sake.. It's life. No one is perfect. If people can't accept you.. move on.. People are people. You can do it!

Argamemnon, are you getting therapy? Creating a social life from scratch with SA is a very difficult task and you can't do it alone. Everyone has some point of contact with other people - their job, education, hobbies, sports, etc. These are outlets to find and make friends and build a social life.

No therapy at the moment, I've had therapy in the past.