How do I stop being infatuated by every girl I meet

Ok well I'm a 21 year old guy and I have well, so far, never had a girlfriend. Also I lead a pretty lonely life.

Perhaps because of this, I just get "infatuated" by any girl I meet. This especially applies to any girl I end up working with at work. Like, you know, unless she is very... mean / rude to me, I will "fall for" pretty much any girl - without discrimination.

I don't know, it's like a girl talking to me (even for purely work purposes) is enough to really muddle my brain up. My brain goes like "wow, this girl's actually talking to a... monster / weirdo like me! I can't believe it! Thank you thank you thank you! *falls in love helplessly*" Of course it's infatuation, not really "love"; but I simply can't seem to help myself.

I guess it's what one's desperate brain does to you when you long for a relationship that you've never had. You long for meaningful human contact so much that you try to "jump on" to anything and everything.

It really doesn't help that I grew up "deprived" of female contact. I have no sisters, and never really came into contact with girls as I grew up. So yeah, females continue to remain on the pedestal for me. I just can't relate "normally" with them without my brain going "haywire" with these crazy thoughts.

I'm similar, although I have had "girlfriends" in the past (but not in the last 5 yrs), nothing serious though, just teenage stuff.

Whenever I see someone I like nowadays I kinda get obsessed with them (not stalker wise tho) and if I happen come across someone else who seems to show interest I'm always comparing them to the woman I currently have an obsession with and it annoys me.

If I see something I like then I want that particular thing even if its not possible and anyone who isn't that person is not good enough...(no matter how psychically and mentally attractive they are..) I wish my mind wasn't programmed that way.


Which is why I don't think I'll ever get married because any one I have ever truly liked has never felt the same about me. Any girlfriend I ever had was just someone that I didn't mind hanging out with.

I hope you can overcome this op , because (and sorry if you don't want to hear it) you will scare them away ok


you must try as hard as you can to not be too full on , too giving, too available,too soft ,too desperate and too ready


Try and remind yourself that to have someone too full on is a bit frieky just take a step back and treat them as people , people who want to talk, have fun and make friends just like you fella's.

Imagine they're blokes if its easier .

Its a sad state of affairs when to show someone how keen you are can put them off, but thats how it is at first, acting a little aloof will have them running to you not away

I think people with SA probably suffer through this a lot. I had the exact same problem. At the time when my SA was the worst it had been, I secluded myself pretty much to working and talking with my friends though minimally. I was incredibly afraid of having a relationship because I feared I wasn't good enough, attractive enough and everything else down the list so I was alone a good amount of my time. I think because you're searching for acceptance not only from yourself but others though you tend to shun it when you get it like it's "too good to be true", you easily attach yourself to people. You crave a relationship because you're alone that you find you jump on any idea that one might blossom from this random person talking to you or even a friend. I hated it, any time a guy showed interest in me even if it was just to be friendly I clung to that though I was also intimidated to take it further. Point is, it starts to get better when you start to feel better about yourself, easier said than done but it can happen

I can partly understand where you are coming from bro....now anyway. I used to be a big-time ladies man and I don't say that in an arrogant way but It is just how I used to be. I was always dating and or having relationships with really pretty girls. Now that my SP's have taken over a good portion of my life I have not had a girlfriends in 2 years. Even if I go on a date now and again it is like I sabotage it on purpose. All this to say that I deal with the things as you now to an extent. If I become friends with a girl I do really become attracted to her no matter what...but at the same time I realize it is just a crush or infatuation. So I do my best to just keep it friendly...maybe because I fear if I step out on a limb....I will come crashing down.

I was the same way until I realised that I wasn't an douche, and women really like a person who is honest and open.

You've gotta meet em'all is my attitude. I think it's the initial process of actually starting a meaningful conversation, or even a superficial one.

Some people are quite self-obsessed and don't simply want to or cannot have a meaningful conversations. No matter how people orientated they think they are.

For instance I know one particular lady who swears she's the most introverted woman on the planet. She's doesn't actually realise that she is the most outgoing social person I've known, yet in her eyes shes the polar opposite.

I'm the same way with guys...

It is very easy to do this, because like the author said as soon as someone starts talking to you, in your head you are thinking "zomg a person is talking to me!" I'm guilty of this, heh