Hey all, new to this forum. Have a question.

[littlesnowflake]

Have dealt with social anxiety/panic disorder/agoraphobia most of my life. Am at a point where I'm able to lead a fairly 'normal' life, able to get out to get my shopping, doctor and dentist appts. and so on. As long I'm not too far away from home or am gone too long I'm okay.
Parties and social gatherings are quite hard for me but I am getting better at it. What I find bothers me the most is when people ask where I work. I no longer have kids at home so can't say I'm a stay at home anymore. I know people are just trying to make conversation but I always feel inferior even though I keep very busy. Any one else in this situtaion, how do you handle it?

 

[Niceguy23]

Hello, Im also new here too and have anxiety. I hate the question What do you do for work! like you said there are trying to make conversation and I understand that but I just get annoyed and uncomfortable with that question. Im on disability and unable to work and my anxiety is one of the reasons. I feel like when im honest and say right now Im not working idk i just feel sad when admitting I have no job or career and I hate to lie and say I work cause then that leads to other questions being asked.

 

[littlesnowflake]

Hi there!
I think it's my most dreaded question! And like you said if you say you work then that just makes for more uncomfortable questions.
I know I shouldn't let it bother me but in this day and age being a homemaker, which is what I ususally say, isn't really valued and it makes me feel like I'm useless. Wow, really not looking forward to the party next week but I guess I will get through it.

 

[Niceguy23]

Yes I agree Its my most dreaded question too. Its nice to see im not alone! Its great that your going to parties and social gathering keep it up. Im not at that point yet. I have givin up at that right now I just cant do it. hopefully in the future I can try again. Good luck with the party! let us know how that goes.

 

[littlesnowflake]

Thanks for the kind words and you are certainly not alone!
I never thought that I would ever be going to parties or doing most of the things that I'm able to do now. It's not perfect and I do have setbacks from time to time, but so much better than I used to be. I'm sure you will overcome your anxiety also.
It's so nice to have these forums to support one another.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

First, don't feel inferior. Most people hate their jobs and are miserable! If you are in a position where you don't have to work then you really have it made. I'm sure a lot of people who ask you that question would be envious.

Just say that the kids moved out and you're enjoying some peace and quietness. That's something anyone can relate too. Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Who knows, you might even inspire a few people to quit their jobs and just enjoy life as it comes.

 

[Xervello]

I second what the others have said. If I were you, I'd just tell them that you're retired, then quickly pivot to the things you're doing now. Your hobbies and whatever else it is that keeps you busy. They'll be more interested in that anyway. Most people only really ask about work to be polite. Most dread it when they have to hear someone going on endlessly about their job, ha ha, so you're doing them a favor, really. I wish you luck with it. Hopefully it becomes less of a burden.

Happy new year.

 

[jaim38]

I'm in a similar situation. When people ask me what my career is, I panic because I don't have a job. But I will honestly tell them that I'm not working at the moment and that I'm studying in college, which is better than doing nothing at home. I guess you should try to turn your situation into a positive one.

 

[Fin]

Hello there and welcome I also dread that question because I don't have a job! I start to panic. I just try and move the convo back to them. I think im more embarrassed than anything :-( glad to know im not the only one, that's the thing with this forum... your not alone

 

[Hellhound]

I hate that question, because I'm old enough to work, but unable to due to Depression/Agoraphobia. Fortunately, the people who have asked me that were understanding of my situation.