Growing up while being different to the majority.

So, all you unique people out there... What has it been like to grow up being different to everyone else?

Me as a below average looking Asian growing up in a english speaking country is probably the reason why i have social anxiety today. Primary school and intermediate wasn't too bad, except for the occasional racial insult. I lost my father when i was young. The first few years of high school was fun. However the last 2 years was probably when my social anxiety got pretty severe.

During these last 2 years, I got my first job as a supermarket assistant. I got to taste a glance of the real world. My god working there was probably one of the most terrifying experiences I have ever faced. All my workmates were kind to me, but I would always get blatant insults about my race and my typical asian features from the occasional customer. I can remember alot of the insults, hmm one of them, "They must not be making any money here" *points at me*. Its like they did not want me to work. I know there were alot of kind customers but the constant abuse was forcing me to quit. I couldn't take it anymore, so i left. So much for "It gets better after high school".

I am now in college where its even worse because of my anxiety. I have grown into a habbit of always looking down and my face is stuck in angry mode 24/7 lol. I always get that occasional laugh, i dont know if its at me tho because im a pretty massive (6 foot 5). I always stay out of social situations and never talk to close friends from highschool anymore. Life has been pretty difficult as my mum had to look after the kids all by her self. I guess alot of things could have contributed towards my anxiety other than racism. There you go, a summary of my life.

For me, life (people-wise) has probably been not that much different from what you described.

I got my fair share of racial insults/abuse as an Asian too. Which English speaking country do you live in? IMO some English speaking countires are worse than others for racism, of course it's an educated guess, so may not be accurate.

I am also different to other Asians as I have more of a pale skin and that makes me stand out - I've had that pointed out before. Also I have features which I am not comfortable to talk about, but it's fair to say they made me very self conscious whether the attention is real or imagined. As a result, when people look at me (and it happens quite often, from males and females alike, and especially children and old people), i'm not sure if it's because i'm an Asian or because of my features.

I don't think being different per se makes one socially anxious, you always have to weigh the other factors. You mention your Dad died. That's a HUGE thing. Are you also the oldest? That could put pressure on you to suceed, be stronger, mature faster for example. I think it comes down to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Everything that happened along the way moulded you toward a certain direction. For instance, I got racial abuse as a child, that made me feel ashamed of myself. If I had caring, understanding parents who comforted me and gave me lots of unconditional love, I would've had more self esteem, but instead I had to deal with these external assaults all by myself, and coupled with my propensity for worry and rumination, it geared me towards an anxiety disorder and worse things.

Life is incredibly difficult. I have one or two friends at school, I'm often excluded,forgotten about and ignored at school because I don't have the mentality of a child or...teenager really.

Im sorry to hear about what you have gone through.

In canada here, in my city there are quite alot of asians, and when i was in highschool there was unfortunately alot of racism. I dont understand some people cant evolve past that mindset, but i think a part of it is parenting. My father refers to some racial minorities in ways that i prefer not to repeat, as i find them very distasteful.

I personally found out that one of my ancestors generations ago was one of the first settlers here, and was not very nice at all to the native people who were here before us. Some call me silly, but i feel a huge sense of shame for that and feel a huge obligation to try to make it up to them somehow, to try to repair some of the damage my line has done. Thats why alot of the time, even though it scares the hell out of me with my anxiety i volunteer at certain places to assist people, primarily natives. Ive told my story to some, and most say i have no reason to feel the way i do, that "i" didnt do anything. But for me, i dont know, if i find out my family has done somthing, i dont feel i can rest untill i try to make it right. Family honor is important to me.

For the same reason, i try to make friends with anyone i can, regardless of race. Id like to try to think we can move the world toward unity, not mutiny.

The Lone Gunman said:

Some call me silly, but i feel a huge sense of shame for that and feel a huge obligation to try to make it up to them somehow, to try to repair some of the damage my line has done. Thats why alot of the time, even though it scares the hell out of me with my anxiety i volunteer at certain places to assist people, primarily natives. Ive told my story to some, and most say i have no reason to feel the way i do, that "i" didnt do anything. But for me, i dont know, if i find out my family has done somthing, i dont feel i can rest untill i try to make it right. Family honor is important to me.

Click to expand...

Not silly at all. I know somebody who inherited a multi-million pound mansion from a long-lost relative. They then found out that his ancestors had gained their money through the slave trade and didn't want to be associated with it and rejected the opportunity to take the house.