How to deal with isolation at work?

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've had a day at work where I would have been better off invisible.

There's a group of people who are all very friendly with each other, excessively loud, and managers who add to that environment rather than have a balanced approach between work and levity.

They barely will make conversation unless I do, and of course I sit in a separate office nearby, but I'm not a superior figure they need to keep a distance for. They can say hi, as my colleague failed to do when delivering a document to me this morning. I mean, that's just basic politeness.

I feel isolated and I've got into this mindset fully belligerent to then and frankly, couldn't care what they think about me. If they can't engage, then I will refuse to do so with them. They hold a grievance that I'm very close friends with another member of staff, who shock horror, doesn't want to be part of their jovial friendship group and also because they are aware - I strongly understand - of my management of a colleague that didn't go well.

If I could work at home all the time, I would.

They just have no clue how they are making me feel, and talk publicly about mental health in the workplace whilst showing such a disregard on how their behaviour is affecting a quieter, reserved member of the team.

Am I dealing with this the right way? Because I don't know any other way.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I felt isolated at my work, to the point it was affecting my health. Two years ago, after starting medication an worked on exposure therapy introducing myself to work situations that I avoided like the plague previously. First team meetings, morning teas, farewell lunches, christmas parties, Christmas drinks, work love ins. Each time I confronted a situation, the next time I confronted it the anxiety is less. I even played my guitar in front of work colleagues. I did a comedy skit at a work presentation and people laughed at clapped at the end.

Fortunately there has been an influx of new staff who I get along with well. I have changed the way I interact, and I even get along better with those I have had problems in the past (Takes a lot of letting go.)

I get less tiffed if someone doesn't say hello, it doesn't get under my skin. Perhaps they are having a bad day. A couple of years ago I'd stew over some perceived negative behavior for weeks.
 

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
I've had a day at work where I would have been better off invisible.

There's a group of people who are all very friendly with each other, excessively loud, and managers who add to that environment rather than have a balanced approach between work and levity.

They barely will make conversation unless I do, and of course I sit in a separate office nearby, but I'm not a superior figure they need to keep a distance for. They can say hi, as my colleague failed to do when delivering a document to me this morning. I mean, that's just basic politeness.

I feel isolated and I've got into this mindset fully belligerent to then and frankly, couldn't care what they think about me. If they can't engage, then I will refuse to do so with them. They hold a grievance that I'm very close friends with another member of staff, who shock horror, doesn't want to be part of their jovial friendship group and also because they are aware - I strongly understand - of my management of a colleague that didn't go well.

If I could work at home all the time, I would.

They just have no clue how they are making me feel, and talk publicly about mental health in the workplace whilst showing such a disregard on how their behaviour is affecting a quieter, reserved member of the team.

Am I dealing with this the right way? Because I don't know any other way.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Have you talked to anyone (like a manager or HR) at work, or do you have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) you could contact and talk to? At the very least, this sounds very unprofessional (to not even acknowledge a colleague-I don't have in-depth conversations with everyone, but at least I say hi and smile).

Have you had the opportunity to work from home to avoid this?
 
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