Gift giving is awkward.

awkwardamanda

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
So awkward.:eek:mg:

I have a lot of gifts to buy around May and June. There's Mother's Day, then my brother's birthday, my Mom's birthday and Father's Day. Then it's my birthday. Everything is clustered together within a span of a few weeks. So my dad suggested me and my brother pitch in for a pretty expensive gift (like, $1000ish) for my Mom's birthday this weekend. He's gonna pay the bulk of it and we'll just chip in a little.

So... I had to discuss with my brother what we were gonna pay. I said I usually spend $50-75 on gifts. If I get someone a gift card, I just go for $50. If I'm buying an actual gift, sometimes I'll spend more; it just depends what I find. We agreed on $75 each.

We were just texting and I didn't how the hell to go about discussing this all though. His birthday just came and went but I haven't given him his card and gift yet because I won't be seeing him until the weekend anyway. I planned to get him a gift card anyway, but after this came up I was was torn over whether to spend 50 or 75. I'm like, does this obligate me to spend the same for his birthday and Father's day now? I usually try to keep things fair (roughly). And if I get him a $75 gift card, then I'm sorta obligating him to spend that on me. Like, why? I didn't exactly want to bring that up or even hint at it cause it's awkward as hell. I would have only spent about $50 on my Mom's birthday but I was fine with spending more towards a big gift in this case. (I had actually already bought her a gift card before this group gift idea came up. Good thing it's somewhere I'll shop too - I'll just use it next time I buy something there.) I spent about $50 on Mother's day.

So I ended up just picking up a $50 gift card for him. Usually that's a standard gift between us. It's a weird, awkward situation. I fretted over this for two days. Still not sure I made the right choice. FWIW, this has nothing to do with budget - it's just about what's fair and acceptable. This is gonna bug me all week. I'm probably still gonna wonder about it afterwards and it won't fully blow over until sometime after my birthday.

I don't fricking know. :kickingmyself:
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I've gone to the extreme, and don't do ANY gifts at all, for ANY occasions (even milestone birthdays, such as my dad's 80th - but i got a gift, just couldn't be bothered giving it to him, & i'll eat it myself instead). I don't like the feelings involved with giving gifts, never have done; it forces me to be all caring & such, when in truth i'm scared to care (as i've tended to get it thrown back in my face). It's just not my thing. But i still suffer anguish over it on every occasion; i feel a combination of wanting to punish them & myself, sadness, & loss. I don't even visit them on mother's or father's day (or last xmas).
 
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awkwardamanda

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
theslowesthand said:
I've gone to the extreme, and don't do ANY gifts at all, for ANY occasions (even milestone birthdays, such as my dad's 80th - but i got a gift, just couldn't be bothered giving it to him, & i'll eat it myself instead). I don't like the feelings involved with giving gifts, never have done; it forces me to be all caring & such, when in truth i'm scared to care (as i've tended to get it thrown back in my face). It's just not my thing. But i still suffer anguish over it on every occasion; i feel a combination of wanting to punish them & myself, sadness, & loss. I don't even visit them on mother's or father's day (or last xmas).
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Wow, that is extreme. It's not the feelings I have a problem with. (I won't buy sappy cards though - they either have to be funny or else just plain and simple.) What I don't like is stressing over what to get and whether I've spent an appropriate amount. Sometimes Christmas is more hassle than it's worth. Sometimes I'll find something great, maybe something they wouldn't have thought of themselves. That's when it's fun. But other times I just don't know what to get people. That's when it sucks.

I actually thought back to last year at this time and I realized I didn't end up spending the same amount on everyone, so maybe I'm ok here after all. I got my mom a gift worth about $100 for Mother's Day, but then it was sort of a Mother's Day/birthday combo gift. I just got her something small for her birthday - I think just a couple of t-shirts or something. My brother did the same thing. He spent over $100 on her Mother's Day gift and then just got a small gift for her birthday. I spent about $65 on Father's Day. I'm pretty sure we just got each other $50 gift cards.
 
Miserum

Miserum

Well-known member
NathanielWingatePeaslee said:
Like trolling people on support sites?



Yeah, I banned this guy earlier today. Been a busy week for me, sorry.
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Lol. I got the sense that they thought they were better than everyone else here. There's a fine line between condescension and support. Okay, it's not really a fine line. It's probably more like a gap. I'd say it was the right call.
 
M

mozart87

Well-known member
yes, gift giving is awkard.
especially if you don't know the person too well.
In the past I tried to be original whenever I had to buy a gift or make a wish. But I felt people don't really apreciate my effort.
so I take it as a "duty" and this is it..
 
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