I'm a 30 year old male, I'm currently unemployed and I live with my father in an apartment. I've never been in a relationship. I tried to have sex with two prostitutes, but kind of failed, due to performance anxiety. I'm currently financially dependent on my mother. I'm not sure why I'm unemployed, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't at all for selfish reasons. I've always been a lazy, unmotivated person, additionally I have some performance anxiety issues (work related), and I'm not a very hedonistic or materialistic person, I get by on very little.
I have a deep need/desire to express myself, to tell people who I am, to share my thoughts and feelings about myself and the world, and make connections, but it's difficult, because I feel like I have no value. I have strengths and weaknesses like everyone, but I feel like my weaknesses trump my strengths. It's weird, because I feel like I'm a naturally charismatic and confident person, but because of my life situation, shame has kept me from the spotlight.
I just want to know, is it possible for people, especially women to see any value in someone like me? I feel so inadequate and insecure, like i don't have the right to say anything to anyone, yet I desperately need to communicate so much.
I have a deep need/desire to express myself, to tell people who I am, to share my thoughts and feelings about myself and the world, and make connections, but it's difficult, because I feel like I have no value. I have strengths and weaknesses like everyone, but I feel like my weaknesses trump my strengths. It's weird, because I feel like I'm a naturally charismatic and confident person, but because of my life situation, shame has kept me from the spotlight.
I just want to know, is it possible for people, especially women to see any value in someone like me? I feel so inadequate and insecure, like i don't have the right to say anything to anyone, yet I desperately need to communicate so much.