always shame and guilt after social situationu

[Clown]

Do you alsmost always feel shame and guilt after social situations ?
.. even when nothing bad
has happenend and had fun with friends... afterwards I can worry for hours about the stupid things I said or done .. even while there is nothing to worry about... its driving me crazy.. I don't know what the feeling is but its comes close to shame and guilt .. confusion ., don't know if it was bad or good afterwards.. then I try to replace my self im someone else and they just go on after 5 min's ....
Its probably I want everything perfect, but there is no perfect

In the last 8 years I can recall all the negative things in deatil/precision

How is it so damn easy for people to forget about certain things ? and go on like nothing happenend

 

[Boby]

Not always ,usually after bigger social events like a party.And yes even if everything went ok and even if i had some fun after i get home i start thinking about all the bad(or at least what i believe is bad) things that i said/done at the party, in fact it takes day's before i start to get in my normal mood.

 

[Clown]

yes my mood switches , I don't like gaming , don't like watching tv anymore nothing..
feels like there is something more important and thats '''worrying''
Just like today it was a warm day we were footballing , the ball gets in the water I try to grab it and glide in the water till 30cm lol... nothing bad... but worrying pff hopefully they don't tell everyone someone else that emberassing moment, so they can have a good laugh about me afterwards.

I just want to game and smoke and have nice cold coca cola and stop worrying... but instead my whole evening is ruined by it.

 

[Boby]

yes my mood switches , I don't like gaming , don't like watching tv anymore nothing..
feels like there is something more important and thats '''worrying''
Just like today it was a warm day we were footballing , the ball gets in the water I try to grab it and glide in the water till 30cm lol... nothing bad... but worrying pff hopefully they don't tell everyone someone else that emberassing moment, so they can have a good laugh about me afterwards.

I just want to game and smoke and have nice cold coca cola and stop worrying... but instead my whole evening is ruined by it.

Exactly the same , i don't feel like doing anything ,usually after a party the majority of people will want to sleep...well i don't , i don't even sleep because i just worry to much.

 

[028ellie81]

Yes I always everything i said and done, imagining how I came across. I guess this is a part of social anxiety and we have to learn to stop conducting post mortems on our social occasions. Easier said than done I am the worlds worst at it.

 

[Aletheia]

I can worry for days or weeks or years about the stupid things I said or did and even though my reason tells me that other people probably didn't care or even notice my unreason won't believe it.

 

[Kiwong]

It's like a minefield for me, I feel like I am walking on eggshells.

Sometimes I worry about upcoming social situations for days and weeks in advance, It keeps me awake at night.

Then after these siutations I go home and wonder if I said the right thing, behaved the right way, did anyone notice my anxiety? I'm scared to look at anyone or talk to anyone. Often I don't eat or sleep well for a while afterwards as my mind loops through all sorts of paranoid scenarios.

These fears are really exacerbated by the fact that my anxiety is very noticeable and sometimes I get unkind even even hostile responses to it. I have been called names because of this, I have been gossiped about. It hurts when people get it so wrong.

The hardest thing to deal with is to be dieing inside with fear, and for sometimes up to three people at a time being openly hostile towards me. I feel like I am screaming inside without a voice.

 

[montejocarlo]

i can totally relate. but it's a story that's getting kinda old for me. i really need to get over myself. it's exhausting to feel that way all the time.

 

[chepei]

In the last 8 years I can recall all the negative things in deatil/precision

I can only remember negative memories as well. I still constantly think about an event more than 15 years ago when a teacher unintentionally humiliated me in front of the class after I did a horrible job in analyzing a poem.
I agree with montejocarlo, it's becoming exhausting and old for me as well. I still get those moments, and I still unrealistically seek perfection as well. But now I shrug it off most of the time. I don't know what happened, and I wish I could tell you something useful as to how the worry slightly decreased...or has it?..hmmmm.

 

[MovedYourChair]

Get this a lot, of I have a convo I'll look back afterwards and think what I've said, how I came across, what they thought and feel bad for even talking to them

 

[bennos]

We think back on the event and only see negative experiences, we analysis the crap out of it until we come up with a desired conclusion. And usually for us, that conclusion is how we should have said this or should have done that.

Can't accept that is how life is. There is no such thing as a perfect interaction.

What is happening here is one source of our problems. After an event, we go away think about it for ages, come up with a whole bunch of negatives about it then dread doing it all over again. The cycle of us. I am king of this cycle.

 

[Bo592]

Clown, take my advice from someone who has made all the mistakes in the Social Book. You will be forgiven just remember, your forgivness is where it all beggings. I alway felt dum after the thing I say to someone I never know what is right or wrong any more but still I know I have to keep trying and putting myself out there someday it will be differnt just tell your self its fine we all make mistakes and keep moving forward.