Really Bad S.A.D + Depression...

[Necrucifer]

Hey everyone new here...I will try to format this as best as I can as I am on my playstation browser due to my computer being fried so sorry if it does not work right. I am a 23 year old male close to 24...Still live at home and have only had 2 jobs my whole life...3 months for each of them but both of them I quit from being harassed and management not taking care of it...I am afraid at all to be in a public place...I get bad shakes, stomach knotting up, sweating and it just freaks me out because people scare me.

I do not have a liscense or a permit...Scared to drive. Most of my time spent is indoors...I rarely leave the house except maybe a few times a year to goto the store with my mom because she has trouble lifting things and just had half of her lung taking out so thats more stress on my shoulders...I feel like my life is just going downhill and I really do not know what to do.

I have never dated till high school then I didnt care much about it till then...I dated quite a bit of girls and recently just got dumped 2 weeks ago from a 2 year relationship...I only have 1 friend I do talk to but he now lives 2 hours away and its hard to hang out from time to time...I am scared to talk to anyone and feel like I may be rejected I find it easier to talk to girls but I think it is because I grew up in a house full of woman 3 sisters and my mom so I feel like I have a more feminime side...

I do got my G.E.D at least...I just feel I will never meet anyone again or make anymore friends...especially with no job or cant drive...I been working up to it but cant get my liscense without money...I have had 3 interviews the past few monthes no success...I am getting depressed just from being dumped and I have a really hard time even going into a store to buy something...I am generally talkative if someone comes to me and talks but I cant do it the other way around for some reason...I try though.

I been pretty much indoors my whole life other than my junior and senior year of high school a few years ago only time I really got out much...I was fine then I was really social and made friends just fine but they all were through other friends...The girls I met they ended up coming to me except a couple I went to...I know I am good looking and all but I still fear being rejected let alone being able to even make friends that actually want to hang out with me...Any help would be appreciated...I am sorry for including everything but all those things I wrote just bother me and just want you guys to know how my life is...

Also if I repeated a few things I am sorry I never actually joined a site to post something like this...My friends that I had in High School also never talk to me no more even if I write them on facebook or something...they never respond to a simple hey how are you doing? even after 2-3 monthes never get a single reply back just from one message...makes me feel like no one wants to even talk to me...

 

[MikeyC]

Mate, welcome to the forums, and I'm sorry you're feeling like that.

Getting out of a 2-year relationship not long ago is going to take some getting used to. There's always going to be a grace period before getting back to what you had. However, in your case, you say you don't leave the house, so that's going to be tough because you'll always have the same walls around you, reminding you of the break-up.

I don't really know what to suggest other than going to the mall with your mother a little more often. It's a small step to breaking some of the barriers you have, but I do believe it'll be better for you in the long run to make some advancements outside the home.

If you're not doing so already, maybe therapy? I know it's expensive and without a job it's very hard to pay for, but maybe that's the way to go. Your mum must see what you're going through and hopefully she'll be willing to help you financially.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story with us and I wish you luck in overcoming your demons.

 

[chopin83]

Pretty much in the exact same situation as you mate. Try taking some pressure of your own shoulders , I know this is not going to help much but : you are not the only the only one going through what seems an endless tunnel of despair and hopelesness. I've been there for many years too so I can empathize with your situation.

I'm 25 , managed to finish my exams up until high school then I dropped out and ever since I've only been doing short term jobs which I can usually never hold for a long time. I think more and more people are having this condition nowadays , take some time to reflect on your situation and also please seek some help you can't beat this on your own , you will have to accept that you have this problem first then try to challenge your very negative beliefs which are the cause of SAD and depression.

Be strong.

 

[pakistan]

its all the same everywhere...bly me

 

[bsebring]

Not sure if this will help but I take Vitamin D supplements for S.A.D.

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[BlueDays]

Hello Necrucifer Welcome to SPW.

 

[evernight]

It's all about taking chances, I suppose. I see myself in your story there. I am 26, never had a job, but I got my license this year, just a few months ago, and my GED at the beginning of the year. The day before and the mornings of those tests were the only parts that really suck for me. Had to take the driving test twice, actually. I still get pretty nervous before certain things and find myself getting complacent in doing nothing as I am so used to avoiding feeling nervous, but it is nice to actually go out and do things for yourself, even if it's going to suck ass. Yeah, my only real friend is my ex-girlfriend, sucks, but I don't really have very much interest in connecting with anyone else. Have some sucky-ass-push-yourself days every once in a while, other-wise it's just nothing, over and over again.

hope that made sense..

 

[Necrucifer]

Wasnt expecting this many replies...Ghouls N Ghosts is awesome...I cant stay friends with my ex's sadly it just hurts me more but I guess everyone has a way to deal with it and they usually just hurt me real bad to begin with for me not to want to be...I took a test before a couple years ago got everything right but...4-6 questions? I was 1 or 2 off from passing...I did not even study though but I just have not tried again.

Vitamin D supplements I doubt would help me never hurts to try though so I will have to think about that but I never been much of a supplement person. Thanks for all the welcomes...I know I do have a problem and I already accepted this years ago I have done therapy on it before even to try to fix some relationships which usually the only problem I have with any of them is stupid little arguments but everyone has those.

Yea everyone has the same problems or worse I know that much but I feel I need to help myself first and help others avoid the situation I am in because I know no one wants to be like this. My mother may also be a problem though I love her to death but feel she is trying to keep me here. I about moved a few times then she would break down and made me feel bad so I stayed...I feel I should of moved back then I could of had a job and a place to live of my own though.

I do take risks sometimes...I go out every great now and then...sometimes I may just go for a walk by myself but thats usually at night. I am limited to options of course no money and I have been grabbing apps every so often and hope for something while making calls every other day seeing if anyones heard anything. I may have another chance to move again to a city since I only live in a small town and have a chance to get a job there...I feel I should do it this time and I know my moms condition but I will only be an hour in a half to 2 away.

So if anything were to happen I would be close by...Thanks guys for the info I am trying but am in a bit of a cruddy mood right now since I have all this time to think and stuff pops up I rather shouldnt I am trying to take my mind off of it and usually works...It's cold outside also here...I love being cold only when I am going to bed I usually sleep with a fan on thats another thing usually my ex's have issues with because I need some sort of white noise or sound to sleep and they just freeze...haha I usually wake up sweating though because of the comforter...so maybe I need to invest in something else than a fan.

 

[evernight]

I'm actually living with my ex at her place as of right now. She wanted me to come up and stay, then see if I could get a job here. It's not really working out though. I'll be leaving to go stay with family sometime soon. Yeah, if she starts dating again after that I don't think I could be friends with her, I'll just torture myself thinking about it. She really is the only person I can talk to and be myself around, so, yeah it's gonna suck.

I have the same deal with sleeping with a fan on. I always slept while one was on at my mom's place and now that I don't have one it seems like I don't sleep as well as I could. It keeps me cool so I can stay snuggled up in my blankets. I hate waking up sweaty.

Seriously, it's nice to meet someone with some commonalities. I'm there with ya, dude. Hope ya feel better.

 

[Necrucifer]

Yea gotta have that fan! sleeping while it blows on you makes me comfy while wrapped up in my blankets for sure and puts me to sleep really good without it you're right it is harder to sleep...let alone waking up sweating. I could never imagine living with any of my ex's...especially since if I wasnt over them yet and they started dating someone or doing whatever would demoralize me greatly for sure.

I did give my ex the option to continue living here if she felt the need to be nice since she only has two other places to go but that was probably for the best she left. I do feel a bit better talking to everyone here though, also the breakup thing I am starting to get over it already...but I think that is because I am used to it so it kind of grows old usually all my relationships lasted 1-3 monthes only two lasted for 2 years.

I think of it this way I can spend this time to find my dream girl well not actually try to it will happen one day I hope. Yea I hear ya on that though nice to meet someone who has a thing or two in common.

 

[MikeyC]

Yea gotta have that fan! sleeping while it blows on you makes me comfy while wrapped up in my blankets for sure and puts me to sleep really good without it you're right it is harder to sleep...let alone waking up sweating.

This is a necessity in Australian summers! ::

 

[Necrucifer]

haha isnt austrailia always hot throughout? never been there just always seems like it would be hot all the time. I've only seen it on tv and movies etc though.

 

[MikeyC]

haha isnt austrailia always hot throughout? never been there just always seems like it would be hot all the time. I've only seen it on tv and movies etc though.

Don't believe everything you see in movies!

Yeah, Australia is hot, particularly the north of the country. Further south, where I live, it goes get very cold in winter. It never dips below zero here, but I have seen it at about 2 or 3C (~36F) before. There's also Perisher Blue and other such places where it snows and you can ski. Doesn't snow there in summer, of course.

But yeah, Aussie summers can be scorchers. It can reach 40C (104F) on those hot days. Tough when you have to go to work and all you want to do is stand under the fan! ::

 

[Richard-Edinburgh]

This is a necessity in Australian summers! ::

not needed in Scotland!

 

[MikeyC]

not needed in Scotland!

I would assume not. ::

 

[Necrucifer]

Oh wow really? I always thought the whole place was hot as ember shows what I know

 

[deleted #89]

Not sure if this will help but I take Vitamin D supplements for S.A.D.

Vitamin D is good for your bones, teeth and immune system. It does very little for S.A.D. So little that you have to use a microscope to see the effect on S.A.D.

 

[Necrucifer]

Vitamin D is good for your bones, teeth and immune system. It does very little for S.A.D. So little that you have to use a microscope to see the effect on S.A.D.

Sad thing is I probably should take that honestly I do feel like I am developing something in my wrist and I am tending to get weaker as I just rot in my house...My teeth have not been taking care of properly either and I am making a dental appointment soon...I used to have a great smile now I know I have to get more cavities filled...so heads up tip if you drink soda you should brush after every single one and...smoking is bad I still do it but dont it will kill you and your teeth.

That is for anyone who reads it but hey just a reminder if you do that and want to continue doing it as a part of your life and you enjoy it then I have no say in the matter just some friendly advice.