yeah.. I think you need to stop stalking this guys page
I wish I was handsome.
- Thread starter Jannah
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It was a joke not to be taken literally, I'm angry yea, but not for someone liking a cute face, just mad because I was never given a chance, even if I didn't have a cute face.
Hate is a very strong word, and if used, especially from me, isn't meant seriously, and just said out of impulse. Please do not tell me what my personality is like, just like those girls from the dating site, you don't even know me. Don't judge me. All you know right now is someone by the username Jannah is very angry right now and might be a little emotional and irrational, that doesn't mean I am 24/7.
It's not his page. It's a page I created with two pictures of him; like I said from the start, I sort of did something crazy and irrational, I had an agenda. I'm deleting it soon.
Pacific_Loner
Pirate from the North Pole
I'm glad to hear that
Sounds like you relive your painful childhood experiences every time you're rejected. If you had been made fun of as a child for being stupid, you would blame your online rejection on your stupidity--not your ugliness. See how that works?
I think you need to work on healing your old wounds. Letting them go. Viewing yourself in an entirely different light. 'Cause trust me, even if you got a girlfriend and she loved you a lot, this issue would come up again the moment you have trouble in the relationship. "Maybe she doesn't really love me after all because I'm so ugly...Maybe she wants to be with someone better looking..." Thoughts like that.
Seriously, you don't deserve this kind of pain. Work on letting it go.
I think you need to work on healing your old wounds. Letting them go. Viewing yourself in an entirely different light. 'Cause trust me, even if you got a girlfriend and she loved you a lot, this issue would come up again the moment you have trouble in the relationship. "Maybe she doesn't really love me after all because I'm so ugly...Maybe she wants to be with someone better looking..." Thoughts like that.
Seriously, you don't deserve this kind of pain. Work on letting it go.
hmm, that is actually pretty interesting. It would be a good experiment, if it did not upset you so much.
I suggest watching the science of sex appeal. Humans are programmed to be vain, so without getting to know someone, all people can be shallow when picking potential mates, especially on site where pictures are used as the primary form of showing who you are. I mean most people prob. lie in the descriptions so that is really all dating sites have.
I suggest watching the science of sex appeal. Humans are programmed to be vain, so without getting to know someone, all people can be shallow when picking potential mates, especially on site where pictures are used as the primary form of showing who you are. I mean most people prob. lie in the descriptions so that is really all dating sites have.
cassiestrange
Member
this is stupid. you're telling Pacific_loner not to judge you and say you're a hateful person, and yet you're judging the girls who messaged your fake profile and saying you want them all to go to hell. Honestly dating sites are one of the most shallow places. Of course the first thing they're gonna look at is the picture. Its human nature for us to pick out an attractive mate or someone of equal attractiveness. You said yourself that the picture was an average joe, so maybe it was average girl going after what they thought was an average guy. And just because some girls picked your fake profile, based on the picture, it DOESNT mean ALL girls are shallow. I could care less what a guy looks like. I met my boyfriend online and i liked him BEFORE i knew what he looked like, based on his personality. He had a good sense of humor, and confidence and thats what attracted me to him. You need to stop beating yourself up and stop acting like this, its not going to get you anywhere in life.
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vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
It's funny that you quoted Mr. Jones because that line, I don't think, is talking about physical beauty at all. It's more about being a beautiful "person, having a beautiful life. The song itself is about wanting to become famous in the hopes that it will solve all his problems "When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely." He wants to change something about himself a more attractive person in a sense.
He doesn't think how he looks has anything to do with whether or not the girl is looking at him. He thinks fame, confidence, and popularity will make him "Beautiful." Or that these things can be associated with it. He striving for something intangible, not something people can see with their eyes.
How people see you is so much deeper than just what is shown on the surface, or at least I think so. I guess it depends on what sort of relationship people are looking for when they see people, but unless it's purely physical relationship they're looking for, I think chemistry and other non-physical factors play a bigger role.
And as far as your experiment, what exactly was different between the two profiles and approaches? My guess is your messages is more responsible for the increase of responses. Or maybe they like the persons style in the picture more than your style. I think you said something about not wanting to be fake, but internet dating can tend to be very fake I believe. And you messaged 30 girls about, right? Out of how many on the site? What drew you to these girls? Were they all similar, or did you message a variety of girls? If they were all similar, it is no wonder that so many replied to your fake profile(Because what one likes, they all like). Now if you had made two identical profiles with the only difference being the picture, and you sent the exact same messages, then yes it was the picture (and is it a good picture of you?). But I doubt that is the case. And even if it is, are you looking for people who care more about looks than anything else? I mean, that's not the most important thing to you, is it? I hope not. And you wouldn't want to be with someone like that either.
He doesn't think how he looks has anything to do with whether or not the girl is looking at him. He thinks fame, confidence, and popularity will make him "Beautiful." Or that these things can be associated with it. He striving for something intangible, not something people can see with their eyes.
How people see you is so much deeper than just what is shown on the surface, or at least I think so. I guess it depends on what sort of relationship people are looking for when they see people, but unless it's purely physical relationship they're looking for, I think chemistry and other non-physical factors play a bigger role.
And as far as your experiment, what exactly was different between the two profiles and approaches? My guess is your messages is more responsible for the increase of responses. Or maybe they like the persons style in the picture more than your style. I think you said something about not wanting to be fake, but internet dating can tend to be very fake I believe. And you messaged 30 girls about, right? Out of how many on the site? What drew you to these girls? Were they all similar, or did you message a variety of girls? If they were all similar, it is no wonder that so many replied to your fake profile(Because what one likes, they all like). Now if you had made two identical profiles with the only difference being the picture, and you sent the exact same messages, then yes it was the picture (and is it a good picture of you?). But I doubt that is the case. And even if it is, are you looking for people who care more about looks than anything else? I mean, that's not the most important thing to you, is it? I hope not. And you wouldn't want to be with someone like that either.
I am only judging them for judging me for my looks, being shallow I guess. But in all fairness that is really all i can judge them on, I don't know anything more about them. Exepct that they rejected me becuse of my looks, which is the only thing I am calling them on for. I am only talking about the girls I've come acorss not every single living female on earth.
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cassiestrange
Member
well you have to move on. like i said not every girl is like that. Dating sites are not the only place to meet women you know...
coyote
Well-known member
i haven't seen your picture, so i don't even know what you look like
but if your written profile or the messages you sent to the girls on the dating site come across anything at all like you have come across in this thread, then I am not surprised that no one has shown any interest
and maybe the reason why they're responding to the fake profile is because you've made "him" innocuous and unthreatening
but if your written profile or the messages you sent to the girls on the dating site come across anything at all like you have come across in this thread, then I am not surprised that no one has shown any interest
and maybe the reason why they're responding to the fake profile is because you've made "him" innocuous and unthreatening
cassiestrange
Member
maybe if you didnt have such a poor attitude, and refuse any help or advice with your situation
So now I am harmful and threatening?
Of course I wasn't aggressive or angry, why would you compare me to the state I am in now to writng someone a message on some idle Tuesday? I am fed up, I am venting, I am expressing the results of everything through writing.
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BlueDays
1
Listen, I know you're just upset and you're trying to vent. I get that. I really do because sometimes I say things I don't mean when I'm angry. But you have to understand that not everyone is psychic and they won't try to read between the lines. They will think you mean everything you say. And you did say this in your very first post:
You changed it to resentment instead of straight up hate, but it still stings for those who think you say what you mean. So just be careful, okay?
You changed it to resentment instead of straight up hate, but it still stings for those who think you say what you mean. So just be careful, okay?
Calling "all those girls" shallow is not attacking them?
An attack on those 13 girls for only one attribute I know of them; not attacking all the females on planet Earth.
IGotSeoul
Well-known member
now this is a good idea.
and even if it doesn't work well - as vj said, people on online dating sites can be shallow, frankly because it's a community solely built for dating and there's going to be a bit of superficiality behind it.
Thank you. Even though I wasn't looking for advice but thank you for your words, it really means a lot. Most thoughtful, sympathetic post all night.
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