Need feedback on 2 songs, feedback appreciated (:

Liam17

Well-known member
I couldn't sleep tonight ): so wrote 2 songs

One was i was angry.

Another one, was just something i wrote tbh.
feedback appreciated :) thanks

There over the streets
You’ll see the trouble happening
If they won’t retreat
the crows will start gathering

They can do what they want
Do what they please,
Call the police?

Riff

Ring the police,
Nobodies answering.
Get off your knee’s
you’ll see the riot happening?

They can do what they want
Do what they please,
Where’s the police?

Riff

The local people
Can see the fire, happening
Get on your knee’s
The Smoke will start answering

They can do what they want
Do what they please,
Where’s the police?

With this civilization
Can you see the future happening?
The little things
Will start the Unimagining

Every town,
Will crumble with the shouting
Every City,
Will burn with the doubting

They can do what they want
They do what they please,

Where was the police?

2nd song.

feel the fear,
hear a cry,
see a tear,
light your minds eye.

see a heart
between you and I.
and
Dream a dream,
With me,
That will never die.

We will never die.
We will never die.

When a broken chance,
is all u’ll get
take your chance
And live it in the sky.

Between the eye’s
Remember, the high’s
And remember why.
We will never die

Dream a dream,
With me
That will never die
We will never die
We will never die
We will never die
We will never die
We will never die
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Oooo okay I've just read the first one and I likey, I likey a lot. Nice idea behind that one!!

I like the second one too :) But I love the first one . Good going with these Liam, nice job
 

Liam17

Well-known member
I love the first one too. Second one is pretty good, but I think there could be more to it.

hmmm i agree on the second, one i shall improve it :)
Thanks.

Wrote the first one in 5 minutes

and the second one in 5 minutes
 
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