I don't get mad at people.

[vj288]

I didn't think it was that big of a deal but my therapist seemed very interested when I told him. Is anyone else like this, they just don't get mad at people? I mean you could say really mean things, attack me, oppose my views, ect... and I would not get mad at you at all. I don't know what's going through their heads or why they do what they do so it wouldn't be right for me to get mad at them,I may not and can't know the whole story. I can get mad at myself because I know what I think and why I do the things I do, so it's easier and fairer for me to do that.

 

[Feathers]

I read that some people can turn anger and upset inwards, some outwards.

Usually some degree of anger can be good and can stop you from being depressed so much. Think 'active', and 'alive', making a change or a difference in the world.. Of course if the anger is excessive it can be really bad too, then you may need tools for anger management and such..

I really admire you for not getting angry.. I often do, though I've sometimes turned it inwards too.. I'd love some tips on how to not let other people get to you in the first place, especially if they 'press your buttons' (or might even do it on purpose) - sometimes it's not easy even if you know they just 'forgot' or 'don't see it as such a big deal' and have other priorities/hyperfocus on other things or such..

Assertiveness is the ideal, where you can calm down and tell people in a respectful manner and do effective problem-solving and such..

Some of the negative self-talk can actually be anger turned inwards.. Or what others have told you about you, it might not be true at all, just echoes from the past.. I used to be more depressed and not angry as a teenager and when I learnt more about these things I was happier and could get angry too..

I still hope you stay laid-back and friendly though!! Really like your attitude!!

Maybe your therapist will tell you more, if you ask him

 

[vj288]

I read that some people can turn anger and upset inwards, some outwards.

Usually some degree of anger can be good and can stop you from being depressed so much. Think 'active', and 'alive', making a change or a difference in the world.. Of course if the anger is excessive it can be really bad too, then you may need tools for anger management and such..

I really admire you for not getting angry.. I often do, though I've sometimes turned it inwards too.. I'd love some tips on how to not let other people get to you in the first place, especially if they 'press your buttons' (or might even do it on purpose) - sometimes it's not easy even if you know they just 'forgot' or 'don't see it as such a big deal' and have other priorities/hyperfocus on other things or such..

Assertiveness is the ideal, where you can calm down and tell people in a respectful manner and do effective problem-solving and such..

Some of the negative self-talk can actually be anger turned inwards.. Or what others have told you about you, it might not be true at all, just echoes from the past.. I used to be more depressed and not angry as a teenager and when I learnt more about these things I was happier and could get angry too..

I still hope you stay laid-back and friendly though!! Really like your attitude!!

Maybe your therapist will tell you more, if you ask him

Yeah, you sound right but it may not be as healthy as you made it out to be. I do turn it inwards, a lot of times very irrationally.

Along the same lines I don't like to come the conclusion that anyone is bad, that they are doing what they do for a reason they see as good. I always use Hitler as an example, whose actions could easily considered to be very bad. His intentions, as skewed as they are, were not. He thought he was making the world a "Better" place. That doesn't forgive his actions, but you can't say he was doing what he saw as evil(or it's at least a possibility.) I take every person like this, intention and action as two different things.

 

[vj288]

so hmmmmmm can i punch you in the face and you wont get mad at me??? lol jk I wouldnt punch you period. ::

That's good I like my face in not-punched condition.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, you sound right but it may not be as healthy as you made it out to be. I do turn it inwards, a lot of times very irrationally.

Along the same lines I don't like to come the conclusion that anyone is bad, that they are doing what they do for a reason they see as good. I always use Hitler as an example, whose actions could easily considered to be very bad. His intentions, as skewed as they are, were not. He thought he was making the world a "Better" place. That doesn't forgive his actions, but you can't say he was doing what he saw as evil(or it's at least a possibility.) I take every person like this, intention and action as two different things.

Hm, I didn't want to make it sound healthy lol.. Just *sometimes* it can be a healthy response, and just a range of emotions we all have..

(I edited the 1st response a bit and didn't like the way it came out but was too hungry and opted for dinner lol!! )

Sometimes anger can be *very* destructive and best to nip in the bud...

A feeling is not the same as behavior though.. Also a person can be good while behavior can be bad or unhealthy/unhelpful etc. I try to keep those separate..
You can be angry, allow yourself to feel it (if you do) it's still wrong to attack someone for it, most of the time. Of course it's best to not even get angry if you can, and if you're not thereby suppressing your true self and your true beliefs too much.. If you genuinely believe it is okay.. I think that's the best way, very zen.. If you would be angry about something really important and said 'That's okay', this could be bad, if you still kept seething inside. For some people, it can become bad habit though, and they can explode over everything, and it's not healthy anymore..

Anger can propel you into action, eg saving lives of loved ones.. But when it's not necessary (which is most of the time these days) it can cause problems in people's lives, yeah..

A book on anger management says the old pop psychology 'to let it all out' can be very unhelpful and it seems your way to not even 'get there' is better.. Maybe your therapist was even *admiring* your way.. Or was taught 'old school' that expressing anger can be good?

I still think Hitler did some very bad things, intentions being whatever they were (it's difficult to know so far away from it, maybe he just sought self-gratification too?) At least his actions have shown the rest of the world some valuable lessons - that enslaving countries is bad (I think WWII actually helped end colonisation) and that 'purification' of races (which used to be a 'cool thing back then in some circles) can lead to some very horrible crimes against people..
I think letting Hitler kill your family would not be a healthy response if there was something you could do about it.. Does this make sense?

I know bad actions can have good intentions or even some good side-effects.. It's still not easy sometimes, when very bad things happen or such.. Or people just don't see things, or remember them, sigh..

I can forgive what happened in the past, it's when they 'keep doing it' that I may have a problem..

I wish I could be more laid back and cool with things too..

 

[arsenalwa]

I do get angry a lot of the time, I just have trouble expressing it mostly. I don't like to keep yelling etc. so I may seem rather cold even if I'm really angry inside. I always get in fights or arguments with my family. One time they made me so f****g angry and I just went to the bathroom, closed the door, and kept smashing things against the wall. Made me feel better to be honest lol.

 

[Dronee]

hmm... are you genuinely like that? I don't express my anger. I've a lot of pent up anger... but if you're genuinely difficult to make angry, then you've my respect. Some people may abuse this though...

 

[lurknomore]

I don't really get angry either... or it takes a heck of a lot to make me mad. I think it's because I know that there are at least two sides to every story, and I give people the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions about anything. Plus I'm just a laid-back person in general that doesn't sweat the small stuff... or even some big stuff that I actually should... probably not healthy, but it keeps me sane. ::

 

[vj288]

hmm... are you genuinely like that? I don't express my anger. I've a lot of pent up anger... but if you're genuinely difficult to make angry, then you've my respect. Some people may abuse this though...

Yes, I think it is very easy to abuse. I would hope I would be able to surround myself with good people who would not do this, but I much more easily see the good in people (not necessary in a good way) so even when it does happen I deny it in the back of my head a little.

 

[vj288]

I don't really get angry either... or it takes a heck of a lot to make me mad. I think it's because I know that there are at least two sides to every story, and I give people the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions about anything. Plus I'm just a laid-back person in general that doesn't sweat the small stuff... or even some big stuff that I actually should... probably not healthy, but it keeps me sane. ::

Exactly!

...

 

[EscapeArtist]

Yeah, you sound right but it may not be as healthy as you made it out to be. I do turn it inwards, a lot of times very irrationally.

Along the same lines I don't like to come the conclusion that anyone is bad, that they are doing what they do for a reason they see as good. I always use Hitler as an example, whose actions could easily considered to be very bad. His intentions, as skewed as they are, were not. He thought he was making the world a "Better" place. That doesn't forgive his actions, but you can't say he was doing what he saw as evil(or it's at least a possibility.) I take every person like this, intention and action as two different things.

I don't know.. I don't see anything wrong with this. I think exactly the same way, and I don't get angry at people either, because everybody has a reason... PERIOD. Everybody has a reason. Good and bad do not exist, and anger or hatred is usually projected hatred at oneself. As long as you can learn not to get angry at yourself as well, the balance will be back, and it sounds like you with this ability could live a very peaceful life.

 

[arsenalwa]

I don't know.. I don't see anything wrong with this. I think exactly the same way, and I don't get angry at people either, because everybody has a reason... PERIOD. Everybody has a reason. Good and bad do not exist, and anger or hatred is usually projected hatred at oneself. As long as you can learn not to get angry at yourself as well, the balance will be back, and it sounds like you with this ability could live a very peaceful life.

This.

*tricks the 10 characters thingy*

 

[Seasons]

It is also very difficult for me to get mad. I hardly do really. If it has nothing to do with me than I certainly won't because it is very unlikely that I will know enough to have such a strong opinion to the point of getting mad. If it's with me than I probably won't because I'm not good with conflicts and having bad arguments with other people. I don't know how to deal with animosity.

 

[UnOccupied]

To me, this sounds fine. As long as your explanation is truthful, then it sounds perfectly healthy to me.

If you had said you don't get mad, because you are scared to get mad, then i would think it was a problem. But, if you don't get mad, because it gets you nowhere, and you don't know what others are going through or thinking, then that seems fine.

When you feel someone has wronged you, or you are not getting a fair deal, do you let others know? Because i think that is something you must do in life. The difference between doing this for most of us, is that most people get mad, but if you still let others know your feelings, and opinions, without getting mad, then that is fine.