Did you feel guilty when you started posting?

I'm curious. When you first got here, and started posting/asking/telling about your social phobia/anxiety, did you initially feel guilty about it at all? And if so, did the feeling go away after a while?

Because I rather do every time I hit 'submit'. Not entirely sure why though..
 
@MandyMouse

Shocked you say? I see. :eek:

Perhaps it's related, and is just the overwhelming experience of being with like mind people for the first time, projected as a feeling of guilt because it's all new. If that makes sense at all. ^W^;
 
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mysissucks

Well-known member
I feel very guilty every time I post something. Like I'm going to be hated or judged. Especially by posting this now. Oh well
 
I just started posting here last night and I'm not nervous really at all. I am a totally different person online then in person and have posted on numerous forums before, most people tend to think im hilarious and outgoing on forums and would probably never guess I had social phobia. Also the way I see it everyone here is going through similiar things so what is there to be nervous about?
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I did, very badly, didn't feel deserving enough, felt not ****ed up enough hahaha even though being messed up isn't a good thing. I'm just starting to post more now but I still feel extra annoying and guilty for posting so much, and being a nuisance...
 

jco3

Active member
My first time coming here was during a three month stint indoors, so initially seeing that there were like-minded folks out there was pretty big revelation for me. I'll admit, I was a little bit hesitant to post for the first time - then again... I usually am hesitant.
 

Scars

Well-known member
I feel very guilty every time I post something. Like I'm going to be hated or judged. Especially by posting this now. Oh well

Read my sig. The link to the full poem is in my profile. Anyway, I think just reading that might help you deal with feeling judged. Maybe not in public... that's much harder and you can't wear a sign around your neck with the poem on it lol but still. Maybe a shirt wouldn't be that bad of an idea actually...
Just having that there will put that little philosophical question in there with your post won't just make them question themselves (I hope, and then there's always people that just won't notice it). If they don't you can happily pity them knowing that you offered the gift of knowledge to them, to which they refused, and are worse off because of it.
 
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@mysissucks

I feel very guilty every time I post something. Like I'm going to be hated or judged. Especially by posting this now. Oh well

Oh, I see. Then just let me say, thank you that you did post it anyway. :3

Knowing that others feel the same is a rather comforting thought. ^W^
 

Lost Girl

Well-known member
I don't really understand why you guys would feel guilty. I mean you're meant to feel guilty when you've done something wrong right? Why would you feel guilty for posting? I don't get it. :confused:

I feel stupid a lot of the time after I post. I tend to go on a bit too much but don't realize til after I've hit 'post reply'. I also miss the point a lot I think and go off on my own tangent. I also say too much about my personal life which I regret later...I've considered deleting some of my old posts where I feel that I have divulged more than what I'm comfortable with, but end up leaving it because I think 'well all these people have already seen it I may as well leave it now or I'll look weak'... idk :/
 
@sundaygirl

Oh, that's exactly it! : D Now that you mention it, those were all things that kept me from posting more openly/excessively/comfortably. :3 If you say it'll get better over time, Ill take your word for it. Thank you. ^W^
 
@Lost Girl

I don't really understand why you guys would feel guilty. I mean you're meant to feel guilty when you've done something wrong right? Why would you feel guilty for posting? I don't get it. :confused:

I feel stupid a lot of the time after I post. I tend to go on a bit too much but don't realize til after I've hit 'post reply'. I also miss the point a lot I think and go off on my own tangent. I also say too much about my personal life which I regret later...I've considered deleting some of my old posts where I feel that I have divulged more than what I'm comfortable with, but end up leaving it because I think 'well all these people have already seen it I may as well leave it now or I'll look weak'... idk :/

I think it's also partly because I usually feel like the issue I'm making a thread about is not important enough, and robes attention away from those who deserve it more. When it comes to posting to someone else's thread I feel like the advice isn't going to benefit them, and so might do more harm then good.

I can totally relate to that. Though, I must say, I've read some of your posts on other threads, and I've never seen you post something that made you sound weak. More insightful, really. :3

For me it was more on other sites and forums. I'd try to reach out, talk to them, say all the wrong things and they'd just say something nice but dismissive and leave. The shame of that just kinda stuck with me I guess, even amongst those who suffer the same way. Maybe what Sundaygirl said was right, and it just takes some time to get used to the non-hostile way of communicating around. C;
 
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Lost Girl

Well-known member
I think it's also partly because I rarely feel like the issue I'm making a thread about is not important enough, and robes attention away from those who deserve it more. When it comes to posting to someone else's thread I feel like the advice isn't going to benefit them, and so might do more harm then good.

Oh I see, I get where you're coming from then, and come to think of it, I think I've felt that way too. Of course no one deserves more attention than another, but I'm sure you already know that. I do sometimes withhold from posting a reply in threads in case what I have to say won't help them or like you said, may do more harm then good, and also for the reasons I was speaking about earlier, so I understand where you're coming from.
I can totally relate to that. Though, I must say, I've read some of your posts on other threads, and I've never seen you post something that made you sound weak. More insightful, really. :3
nawww, thanks :]

For me it was more on other sites and forums. I'd try to reach out, talk to them, say all the wrong things and they'd just say something nice but dismissive and leave. The shame of that just kinda stuck with me I guess, even amongst those who suffer the same way. Maybe what Sundaygirl said was right, and it just takes some time to get used to the non-hostile way of communicating around. C;

Yes, I get what you mean there about trying to help and getting a pretty dismissive response. It sticks with me for a little while as well, it probably does with everyone. Just try not to take it to heart I guess?
It took a while for me to feel comfortable enough to say what I wanted to say without feeling silly about it. Sunday girl is right, it just takes a little time to observe how the place works and get comfortable :).

I think there will always be a times when people may feel under-appreciated in a forum or similar feelings at one time or another, but I think that everyone's input is appreciated really, even if no one expresses so. There's been times when I have whole-heartedly agreed with someone's opinion, or have thought that the advice someone had given to another person is great but haven't said so, maybe showing our appreciation is something we should all do more often?
 

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
I never felt guilty at all (there's no reason I can see to feel guilty). But I did feel absolutely humiliated. Especially after I started posting about all of my inexperiences & realizing that most people here were not like me. But I've been here a while now & realize that there are people my age, & even older, who have very similar inexperience issues to my own. So I feel better about posting on forums, etc. now.
 

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
i do feel guilty when i post here, if its a very serious post and end up deleting half of them. i feel guilty for reaching out and burdening people with my problems and negativity when i know theres no point in doing it and i know no one can help me. its like drowning and knowing you cant be saved, you can only pull other people down with you.

that said, when i read other peoples posts where they are being negative, i just feel for them. i dont judge them like i judge myself.
 
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I constantly have to convince myself that my words are worth being read, so there is a sense of guilt. Despite my number of posts, I'm still not comfortable with the idea of opening myself to all. I have this annoying habit of proofreading and editing every post of mine.
 

shredman

Active member
Well, this is my first post on this forum so I'll tell you!! :)
I’m not sure if 'guilty' is how I would describe it but I definitely feel anxious. Actually on other forums I would freak out but I feel a bit more relaxed knowing that others here probably feel the same as I do. Sometimes I can re-read a post several times, then stare at the submit button for ages before I summon the courage to submit. At times, hours after posting the anxiety gets too much so I go back and delete the post for fear of making a fool of myself.
 
@Lost Girl

Oh I see, I get where you're coming from then, and come to think of it, I think I've felt that way too. Of course no one deserves more attention than another, but I'm sure you already know that. I do sometimes withhold from posting a reply in threads in case what I have to say won't help them or like you said, may do more harm then good, and also for the reasons I was speaking about earlier, so I understand where you're coming from.

I guess you're right about that. Sometimes it's just a little difficult to remind yourself that the problem is worth mentioning. Perhaps it's worth to try and work on that in the future. C:


Yes, I get what you mean there about trying to help and getting a pretty dismissive response. It sticks with me for a little while as well, it probably does with everyone. Just try not to take it to heart I guess?
It took a while for me to feel comfortable enough to say what I wanted to say without feeling silly about it. Sunday girl is right, it just takes a little time to observe how the place works and get comfortable :).

I think there will always be a times when people may feel under-appreciated in a forum or similar feelings at one time or another, but I think that everyone's input is appreciated really, even if no one expresses so. There's been times when I have whole-heartedly agreed with someone's opinion, or have thought that the advice someone had given to another person is great but haven't said so, maybe showing our appreciation is something we should all do more often?

Well, here I tend not to take it as personal, seeing as the forums specializes in people that might have trouble expressing their thoughts and feelings in a social environment like a public forum (even though it's a very supportive one). Sometimes a little, but considerably less so. :3.

It's more on other sites, where people are perfectly capable of treating you with respect, but deliberately choose not to for whatever reason. They act nice, but still make you feel like less of a person. It really did a number on me trust wise. Though, I must say that ever since I came here I've been taking it less and less personal, even on external sites. :7

That's a great suggestion. Perhaps we really should express our appreciation more often. I can't speak for others of course, but I will most definitely try to be more appreciative, and give more kudo's. It might turn out to help boost their confidence quite a bit. C:
 
@shredman

Well, this is my first post on this forum so I'll tell you!! :)
I’m not sure if 'guilty' is how I would describe it but I definitely feel anxious. Actually on other forums I would freak out but I feel a bit more relaxed knowing that others here probably feel the same as I do. Sometimes I can re-read a post several times, then stare at the submit button for ages before I summon the courage to submit. At times, hours after posting the anxiety gets too much so I go back and delete the post for fear of making a fool of myself.

Oh, I see. Welcome to the forum by the way! ~WO

I actually know what you mean with that. I've spend most of my time on sites where editing or deleting messages wasn't a option, so that kinda grew out of my system forcefully, but I totally relate to all the rest you wrote. OWO

Especially the neurotic re-reading and adjusting the post. In fact, this very post took me about 20-30 minutes. ^W^;
 
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