Hi Sera,
...We're all human and we're all fallible and flawed to some degree. You do not need a woman (or anyone else for that matter) to validate you.
Its not the choice of girl that is the problem, its with me. I was treating women like whores, and I have social phobia. Those two problems = no sex, no girlfriends. I need people to validate me because I have SA, when I don't have SA anymore I wont believe that. I wish it could be willed away so easily.
...I know that I could have picked nicer guys in the past, but I did not. That doesn't mean that I (or you) deserved to be treated like shit, but there are people out there who will do so regardless.
That's a good point, you didn't deserve to be treated like shit and you were victimized by those men. Im starting to think I have also imagined much of the evidence supporting my negative beliefs. Maybe I wasn't treated as badly as I thought, because maybe they weren't doing to me what I thought.
...When you have respect for yourself, others will follow lead. If they don't then it's their choice and they are entitled to it. I've been rejected and dumped and I too have felt like I was a failure and that there was nothing about me worth liking or loving. But in retrospect, who were those men to me? Who are they to me today? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. One of my exes thought it was a good idea to have his buddies get me drunk and run a train on me (no worries! nothing bad happened) at a New Year's party. My dumb-ass gave him a second chance after that party. He dumped me not too long after. Apparently, his friends didn't think I was good enough for him.
Yea but they are still victimizing me, and that's the basis for feeling angry and hopeless. When you are a woman you can get laid, you just can't get guys to stick around. But when you are a guy, you can't get laid OR get girls to stick around. Don't forget that the playing field isn't equal. Women have somewhat more power. Nevertheless, our self-esteem, and psychopathology are the root of the problem, I agree.
Ask yourself: What are those dumb girls to you? What are they other than a bad memory?
I believed they were proof positive that I was unconditionaly unacceptable, because by failing to get them and keep them around, I proved myself defective. It's a different scenario then what you are proposing.
...Those bitches are not worth all this shit you're going through. You're keeping yourself from growing because of what they did to you?
Well that's SA for you. I hate this disease.
Remember that the majority of people (women and men) are not evil bastards.
But that can't be just asserted, it has to be proven with logic and evidence! I was proving exactly the opposite statement with my distortions, and obsessiveness, and my phobias. You are right however.
Would you have me thinking that all men are rapists because I could have been raped or because many of my girlfriends were raped/sexually abused.
Yes. If you were raped by the majority of men who were interested in having sex on the first night, I'd say you had great evidence for the belief that men who want sex early are generaly rapists. But if you only THOUGHT they were trying to rape you, when realy you were in no danger, then I'd point out your error in thinking.
Why do you think that every woman out there wants to turn you into a victim? Out of all the men out there, why you? Try to challenge these thoughts and fears.
Because I they constantly tell me lies and feminist propaganda. However, many of the things they say are not realy lies, I just thought they were! For instance RedRibbons was dead on - I fixed the problem with the girl from halloween by apologizing! I never thought I was the only man they wanted to bring down, I just figured I was weak enough for them to get to.
You have to see that it is not possible for every woman you have dated to want to get to know you further. ...You win some and you lose some.
NO it's quite possible. It happens to plenty of guys here, that's why they are still virgins in many cases. It's not their fault, its their social phobia. Likewise, I don't lose some and win some, I lose most and win a few. That's not normal.
There have been men who have approached me because they thought I was pretty but they lost interest after fifteen minutes.
Are you kidding me? They are fools, you are gorgeous and have an awesome style, and your a great person (and I barely know you).
Could it just be coincidental that this plethora of evil women always happen to find you? It's possible that some of them are b***es and it's possible that you're making some of them out to be a lot worse than they really are....How will you truly be able to see the good women for what they are when all you see in them is the bad from your past?
Yes youre dead on. Im imagening things because of my extreme distortions, obsessiveness, and overpowering phobia of being defective. I already unleared the belief about women not liking me unless they hook up the first night. What a bunch of bullshit. I can see why that's not true now.
Thanks Serafina!
