smiling at strangers, am I inhuman?

[no1]

my dad says I should smile more. I smile but strangers seem to either not care or never return it so I don't smile.

I went to get some food today at a restaurant, and this girl (as usual) acts annoyed by me. Most if not all girls act annoyed. Maybe they can tell I feel nervous around them or something. Or they put up some kind of shield. My dad told me I should smile more, because I act too serious. but I remember, everytime I DO smile I never get any back or get an annoyed look in return. Everyone tries to act cold. I wish I could get a smile, maybe my smiles don't seem that genuine or I am always mad or something, or because I don't seem too happy.. I would smile at everyone, if I knew it mattered but it usually doesn't. It makes me feel inferior.. I'm not at all too happy with my life in fact it causes me physical pain, which I ain't too damn happy about. My smiles don't matter to anyone.. they don't mean anything. And I DO try to be genuine about it. Most people tho (or maybe all) act cold. Especially women, to me. Because I am just the most inferior male their is on the planet I guess.

Life seems impossible, relationships are impossible. It seems I'll forever be alone, I feel suicidal again because all this is just too damn impossible. You need to be perfect to be able to have a relationship. Be the happiest person.

 

[faithnomore]

I totally understand how you feel. I feel the same.

Its tough when you feel bad, to try to be happy. It just doesn't work.

And i too feel very inferior to women. It seems like most people are "cold" towards me.

My friends say i've just had bad luck, but it seems that the majority of people hate me.

I just try and get by, even though its hard.

 

[no1]

people dont seem to udnerstand why I may be so upset. they take offense or hate me... because I FEEL PHYSICAL PAIN and that it may be hard to ACT OTHERWISE.

And of course nobody wants to be with anyone who has problems. nobody wants to help. especially when it is deemed as "nothing"

I'm sorry.. everyone just seems to undermine me and look down upon me. Absolutely too.. once they seem me like this it's over forever. I am always weak and stupid in their eyes. All it takes is one second for them to "realize" this after seeing or meeting me. They all just supposedly hate "people like me".

The human race will die off if all who have problems keep being undermined and avoided unless they have money. Only money can buy attention from someone, like a freaking psychologist right? a freaking whore right? anyone who has problems these days are hated for who they are. only money can buy them "attention".

 

[faithnomore]

I dont understand how/why the world works. But it seems as if most people act the same. No one wants to help anyone, its all about materialistic stuff.

Thats the way it seems anyway.

If i had loads of money it would only give me financial security. As they say "money doesn't buy you love"

 

[no1]

I also feel like all guys think I'm stupid. it's not just the women.

 

[no1]

I dont talk to anyone.. I have problems. Anytime I am around someone and I feel pain, I have the chance of expressing it. I dont want to express pain, and make others feel pain as well. I don't want to beg for a friend, even if I need one. I don't want to look for one because, who would I look like? I don't talk to anyone because I've got problems, and no one will talk to me. I feel like I will be alone forever. There is no solution huh? I try to think positive, but it turns out to only be in my mind I guess. Ok I'm not the happiest most problem free person in the world, but I don't deserve this silence. It's hard to be social when you have "problems" where people can judge me. Do I have to become good at hiding who I am? Pretend? Delude myself? I have no idea how to learn to be like others who have no problems. DO I even have the capability, or the resources to change who I am? I need a tangible solution to this. there seems to be no way out. I'll keep being positive but I don't want to intrude on anyone.. and I don't want to anyone to think that just because I am not intruding on them, that I am either judging them, or am a pussy because I don't want to tak advantage of anyone. in the meantime how do I keep my own boddy from reacting the way it is suposed to? I feel I have hardly any control over my biological impulses, my thoughts, my pain, my history, my conditions. I have no freedom. I can't do what others say I should do, I am simply not like them. nobody understands. nobody can.. there seems to be no soluition. I am waiting for a miracle, that is the ONLY thing that can solve this.

the way I am is ingrained in me. it is my condition. it is who I am now, my personality. how can I just pretend my conditions are not there? and come off as entirely deluded. how can I just hypnotize myself that way? my problems won't go away like that. Is thatthe only way? hypnosis? repeated affirmation, HOPING that my subcnoscious and my subconscious connection to the world can help me? Do I have to lose consciousness? because right now, whoever I am, seems like I can't do anything for myself. there is no such thing as being too late, no such thing as being unable? all in my mind? no such thing as not having the capacity, or the ability? no such thing as being irreversably messed up? no such thing as a victim? prove it. I can't, that is enough evidence. I've read it all. some people just can't change right? some are in too deep? some people will just never get it?

If I don't have myself, what else do I have? If I have nothing else, nobody else, not even the slightest idea, what do I have? I dont have the time to wait my entire life to find freedom.

People who have problems then, are just people who don't get the law of attraction or what? the secrets of the universe? don't have the key of life? what is it, what about the victims in this world who truly need help? everyone who is a victim. the people who are incapacitated, the people who have no REAL hope, what about them?

WHAT ABOUT THEM/US/EVERYONE!?!?!?! What about the whole uni-verse?

I guess we collectively agree on everything going on, but is everything going on and everyone accounted for to everyone else consciously?

we are all in on this right?

 

[faithnomore]

Yeah, i am always trying to figure out what to do. But its really hard, it seems nothing can be done.

But there are other people with the same problem.

Sometimes even when i feel really bad, i cannot stop thinking about how bad my life is. I try to forget, but it doesn't work.

What can we do?

 

[no1]

are we just stupid? or is there just something we don't get? even though we might have been told, we still don't get it? What about unrequited love?

I cannot understand how people in this world can just go by all their lives through such problems and unrequited love. "Evil" can win and has won. I can't understand how there just HAS to be such a predetermined reason for any of these "real" problems. Good people suffer, all the time, and endure through such tragedies. It can be really discouraging...

what do we do to deserve such inescapable tragedies, all the time.

 

[faithnomore]

are we just stupid? or is there just something we don't get? even though we might have been told, we still don't get it?

Its as if life is a game. And we are on another path to the rest of the majority of people. Its like we are ignored and treated like tramps.

And we never get the chance to be liked from others, because they are always hostile.

 

[no1]

we collectively deny problems or are unaware of them. they have either gone by unnoticed, are run away from, or just don't care. who knows what else. it's sometimes rare that someone faces a problem and works on it, and diligently, because it's not always easy.maybe a lot of us don't even understand what's really going on.
i dont want to go outside because i have problems, i dont want to share my problematic life, who would want to stick with me? at this point I dont think anyone would want to, maybe I need some assurance, but right now I dont think anyone would want to. chances are though... the world would be better off if I was healthier, if I didn't have as many "problems", etc. some of them can't dissapear without anyone else's help though.

I know there are some things I can do by myself, but do they amount to anything in the end!? how can I know now? I've tried it before too and it didn't seem to work for anything.

I guess I also have to accept that until I solve ALL my problems by myself (IF I even can) , with absolutely no help at all, then MAYBE I can have friends, or be socially accepted. Maybe by then I will be so messed up I wouldn't want or need any friends, or can't have friends. Maybe I can't do this without any social support. I need to feel like I exist and have a place in this society... I need to know that I can solve my problems.

 

[faithnomore]

we collectively deny problems or are unaware of them. they have either gone by unnoticed, are run away from, or just don't care. who knows what else. it's sometimes rare that someone faces a problem and works on it, and diligently, because it's not always easy.maybe a lot of us don't even understand what's really going on.
i dont want to go outside because i have problems, i dont want to share my problematic life, who would want to stick with me? at this point I dont think anyone would want to, maybe I need some assurance, but right now I dont think anyone would want to. chances are though... the world would be better off if I was healthier, if I didn't have as many "problems", etc. some of them can't dissapear without anyone else's help though.

I know there are some things I can do by myself, but do they amount to anything in the end!? how can I know now? I've tried it before too and it didn't seem to work for anything.

It would be alot easier if there was someone to rely on. Unfortunately normal friends and family dont understand what our problems are.

Once outside, i'm all alone. Its easy for people to judge, and i stand alone.

Not good...

 

[madmike]

I sympathise, it can be so demeaning when you try your best and you get the opposite reaction to what you were looking for. Try not to let it get you down, keep smiling (maybe alter the smile a little to make it seem more natural, less 'creepy stalker guy'ish').

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Smiling's never been easy for me, or come natural. I'm always being told I need to smile more. By therapists, my vocational specialist who helps me look for work, & even strangers. I feel stupid doing it & like I'm straining myself & I feel like there's no reason for it. No matter how happy I may be, smiling's just not something that I do much of. The only time I really do is when it's spur of the moment & I start laughing or something.

 

[thor01]

my dad says I should smile more. I smile but strangers seem to either not care or never return it so I don't smile.

I went to get some food today at a restaurant, and this girl (as usual) acts annoyed by me. Most if not all girls act annoyed. Maybe they can tell I feel nervous around them or something. Or they put up some kind of shield. My dad told me I should smile more, because I act too serious. but I remember, everytime I DO smile I never get any back or get an annoyed look in return. Everyone tries to act cold. I wish I could get a smile, maybe my smiles don't seem that genuine or I am always mad or something, or because I don't seem too happy.. I would smile at everyone, if I knew it mattered but it usually doesn't. It makes me feel inferior.. I'm not at all too happy with my life in fact it causes me physical pain, which I ain't too damn happy about. My smiles don't matter to anyone.. they don't mean anything. And I DO try to be genuine about it. Most people tho (or maybe all) act cold. Especially women, to me. Because I am just the most inferior male their is on the planet I guess.

Life seems impossible, relationships are impossible. It seems I'll forever be alone, I feel suicidal again because all this is just too damn impossible. You need to be perfect to be able to have a relationship. Be the happiest person.

I can totally relate. You summed up my feelings on this.

 

[no1]

it's been getting a bit better. sometimes I just smile and not care if they dont smile back. though I've taken it personal. oh well.

 

[DASwife]

people dont seem to udnerstand why I may be so upset. they take offense or hate me... because I FEEL PHYSICAL PAIN and that it may be hard to ACT OTHERWISE.

And of course nobody wants to be with anyone who has problems. nobody wants to help. especially when it is deemed as "nothing"

I'm sorry.. everyone just seems to undermine me and look down upon me. Absolutely too.. once they seem me like this it's over forever. I am always weak and stupid in their eyes. All it takes is one second for them to "realize" this after seeing or meeting me. They all just supposedly hate "people like me".

The human race will die off if all who have problems keep being undermined and avoided unless they have money. Only money can buy attention from someone, like a freaking psychologist right? a freaking whore right? anyone who has problems these days are hated for who they are. only money can buy them "attention".

I don't know if all that is so true. While it is true that the majority of people seem to be mean, you really shouldn't generalize so much. My husband is very charming, attractive, and is a successful businessman. When I was diagnosed with my disease (ehlers danlos and brittle bone) he stayed, when I got my leg braces he stayed, when I started having panic attacks and was diagnosed with OCD and social phobia, he stayed. Most of my friends did too, and even though there is no hope for getting better my husband still stands by me. I would do the same for him.

Just keep trying to have an open attitude and don't give up hope on the human race just yet... some people are worth the effort of trying.

 

[thor01]

To me it can feel quite uncomfortable to even try to smile at random girls because I don't know if they would want me to, if they found me unattractive they might not want me looking at them and smiling, and I really think allot about peoples feelings. Is it worth pushing myself to try and do it despite this?

 

[no1]

To me it can feel quite uncomfortable to even try to smile at random girls because I don't know if they would want me to, if they found me unattractive they might not want me looking at them and smiling, and I really think allot about peoples feelings. Is it worth pushing myself to try and do it despite this?

well, try not to make it too transparent. but not too much to freak them out u know. just make it seem genuine and nod like you're acknowledging them and "communicating" a hello.

 

[NormanBates]

Feeling physical pain as in ... a lot of times when I'm around someone with whom I have nothing to say or do, I start yawning a lot. Or feel like yawning a lot. And then hold it in. And the constant coming and going of pressure makes it like a storm in my head. And this is how I get headaches from social situations. I think it is normal to avoid a painful situation.

 

[Rodox]

Well just smiling at strangers could be interpreted in the wrong way,I know I would get as people smiling at me,maybe you could say hi or goodmorning and give a smile,there will be people who will reject you and people who wont,you cant be liked by everybody,try to not keep a serious expression all the time,I think thats what your father meant.