Sanity or Approval: Which is more important to you?

[SickJoke]

Thanks for your reply SickJoke. Honestly I can´t think there is way I could find to make myself less vulnerable or not at all.

With enough effort I truly believe it's possible for anyone to change.

It will still be there. I can act like the bad feeling wasn´t there and don´t let it get in the way of what I do but it still will be there.

It doesn't have to be acting. You can ask yourself, why do I care what this person thinks of me? Why does that matter? And keep questioning until you get to the root of it. You can convince yourself that it truly does not matter. And if you do this repeatedly on a daily basis, it'll become natural.

Anyway I think it is quite normal or I at least accept it the way it is. There is no life without pain.

But there is life without SA!

Communication without any feeling of requiring approval from others is certaintly an unburdensome feeling, but the SA unbalanced side of it blends with the real natural side of it.

What do you mean by "blends?" I'd say the SA takes over completely if it's severe enough.

I do think it can be a little too easy to inaccurately counterbalance the problem and get a mite ignorant in socialising.

I disagree, it's not easy to become socially ignorant after being so painsfully aware for so long.

Should I or should I not be worried to be worried that others can see my shoes are untied though? Small things like this are just a worry that everyone lives with however brief I think.

You shouldn't be! Not everyone thinks like that. If you're shoe's untied, tie it for the simple fact that it's untied! Not because others will notice it.

 

[Doomed2Die]

What do you mean by "blends?" I'd say the SA takes over completely if it's severe enough.

Well if you was intending to get some approval for whatever (non-sa) reason it sure is difficult with SA in the way, assuming the person is trying to hold onto their initial purpose in the conversation. Testament to how debiliating SA can be.

I disagree, it's not easy to become socially ignorant after being so painsfully aware for so long.

Prehaps, in hindsight I'm not the greatest candidate for this (aspergers) but I feel your giving people with very little social aptitude too much credit. Well, for the more serious SA sufferers.

You shouldn't be! Not everyone thinks like that. If you're shoe's untied, tie it for the simple fact that it's untied! Not because others will notice it.

Say the shoes cannot be tied? Any ammo for worry will be used up and more, even silly things seem to be absolutely gigantic and obvious magnets for impending disapproval.

I dont think for someone with severe SA will ever be free of those worries, yes they may have the power to dismiss them quicker and easier, but they will still be prevalent no matter how silly.

 

[SickJoke]

Well if you was intending to get some approval for whatever (non-sa) reason it sure is difficult with SA in the way, assuming the person is trying to hold onto their initial purpose in the conversation. Testament to how debiliating SA can be.

I think we're using the word "approval" differently. What I mean by approval is this: SA sufferers are constantly insecure about their behavior, so they search for approval to make sure they're behaving appropriately.

Prehaps, in hindsight I'm not the greatest candidate for this (aspergers) but I feel your giving people with very little social aptitude too much credit. Well, for the more serious SA sufferers.

Well, there is a big difference between aspergers and SA. Aspergers sufferers have difficulty interpreting nonverbal cues while SA sufferers are highly sensitive to them.

Say the shoes cannot be tied? Any ammo for worry will be used up and more, even silly things seem to be absolutely gigantic and obvious magnets for impending disapproval.

No, I'm saying tie the shoes. Hahaha, this does sound like a silly topic. But you mentioned being worried about others noticing that your shoes are untied. I'm saying, don't worry about anyone else, just tie your shoes simply because they're untied and you might trip or something.

I dont think for someone with severe SA will ever be free of those worries, yes they may have the power to dismiss them quicker and easier, but they will still be prevalent no matter how silly.

Learning to dismiss them quicker and easier will eventually lead to not worrying at all.