Do you wish people could just play along with your social awkwardness?

To me this is the social vicious cycle -

You are socially inexperienced, hence you're socially awkward -> People detect social awkwardness very easily, and they avoid interacting with you -> You miss out on those critical social experiences, leading to further inexperience and awkwardness that's unremedied.

My hypothesis is that basically we were "left behind" whilst everyone else socially "grew up" when they were young children. Now, as adults, everyone else is just "so far ahead"; your lack of social experience compared to the rest of people mainfests as social awkwardness.

Now, social awkwardness in itself would not be so bad if people didn't care so much about it. Unfortunately they do. People are super-sensitive to social awkwardness. The moment people detect a smidgeon of it, their behaviour towards you suddenly changes, for example:

• They avoid interacting with you unless completely necessary. This includes all forms of socialising. They seek out other "more experienced", non-socially awkward people to talk to, to socialise with. I guess their thought is "why socialise with this awkward dude when there are so many other 'normal' people out there?"
• They treat you like a child, or even as if you're sub-human, not on par with them. You feel that there is something intrinsically wrong with you, even if it's just pure lack of experience.

So what do I wish? I wish people could just "play along" with social awkwardness - to not exclude you from social interactions because you're awkward. Just to understand that with time, you'll get better - but what's critical for us is experience, and we won't be getting any of that if people keep avoiding / refusing to interact with us because we're that "awkward guy".

I definitely know what you mean, i really get the feeling people treat me as a child and look around to find that other person who seems confident, which in turn just makes us even less confident.

Good point, and I've felt that for years, although it is getting better.

What I learned is that most people are out there for themselves, and if they feel they have nothing to get from you, then they move on. On the contrary, I knew a handful of really good people over the years who could see me struggling, but chose to stick with me and instead talk to me a little more. I can distinctly recall those people in my mind, and it was good in that they showed me I was not as worthless as I believed. Unfortunately, they are the exception to the rule.

For me personally, now that I am less shy than in the past, I go out of my way to talk to people who are struggling and to build them up, if I'm not feeling too shy myself.

It's just the way that the world works it seems.

I agree that some sufferers of anxiety where not given the oppotunity to develop social due to bullying in their adolescent years.

At least that is my experience.

Great points. I can definitely relate to the "being treated like a child" part. I have gotten that so many times, it really irritates me. And my looks and height don't help my situation much either.

Although, I wouldn't say everyone is like this. I've met a few people who did treat me nicely and didn't exclude me from anything even when they noticed my social awkwardness.

I wouldn't mind at all if they just asked me "why don't you talk and socialize with us?" = that would make me feel comfortable from straight forwardness and would answer "well it isn't my fault" I be glad they mentioned it rather than ignoring me completely. It's good to say what you have to hopefully make them understand you're one cool person, hehe....

well, don't know if any of you would agree with my opinion:/ and makes sense...