AhhA! I'm destined to be single!

For a long ass time! Why you might ask? Or you might not, but I'll say it anyway, cause I want to vent.

1. I'm too shy
2. I'm too worried about holding a conversation
3. I need the guy to be an excellent conversationalist
4. I get all weirded out a month into the relationship
5. I'm too scared to approach anyone I find relatively attractive
6. I think I'm a bit superficial (I want a cute guy)
7. I think I'm a bit of a bitch (I want an intelligent guy)
8. My attitude fails when it comes to relationships
9. I always procrastinate dates
10. I push people away, before they can even get started
11. I push myself away, before I can even get started.
12. I think I'm not pure enough for the good guys.
13. I think I'm not hot enough for the hot guys
14. I think I'm not interesting enough for the interesting guys

Basically I think I suck at relationships, therefore I'm not good enough to be in a relationship with a decent guy. Therefore I wind up with idiots. I'm like a weak little lamb who got its leg bitten off by a starving wolf and is now bleeding profusely, in relationships. I'm weak, and intimidated by all kinds of relationships, and I put it off as if I am the strong one. And people find me intimidating. A sheep in wolf's clothing.

Oh.. and I have retarded anxiety that eff's it all up to the max!

So you have had a boyfriend?
You don't need to worry, im 18 and still haven't had a serious girlfriend.

I feel much the same at the moment, Red Ribbons. Congratulations to you for at least having the courage to gain that necessary experience of starting a relationship. At least now you have a base to start from, mistakes to learn from. And you already seem to know what's causing the problem. That's farther than a lot of people ever make it.
I myself---although I feel I might have some good things to offer in a relationship as a nice, sensitive girl (although somewhat troubled...lol)---have always remained stuck because of my anxiety, although I am trying to change that. It just seems like the nice guys are taken. And most guys my age are exceedingly immature. At least the ones I've met through my 2 extroverted friends. In other words, they are far too overwhelming and intimidating for me and make far too many sexual innuendos all the time, treating girls like they are sport.
I could never be with someone like that! Where are the nice nerds of the world? In hiding like me?

This is a difficult issue.... Wish I had more answers for you! :roll:

Oh. dear. I haven't had a good relationship ever. Longest one lasted 3 months. And I'm 24. Eh, I suppose eventually we will both find someone... Just when... idk? :lol:

I'm 20... Had some chances in high school but I pretty much pushed everyone away because of fear. I suppose I shouldn't really call other people immature if they've experienced more of life than I have. :lol:

Nobody's perfect when it comes to relationships. In fact I'm pretty sure everybody fucks up. But you do have a million chances at this game we call life.

Get rid of the fear that prevents you from opening up to others, and in turn people will open up to you. Love and you'll be loved. Promise

Lately I've all but resigned myself to the very strong possibility that I might never be romantically involved. I can't even imagine that kind of closeness with another human being, although I've longed for it since early high school. All my friends have been in and out of relationships, but not me. I do fear being alone all of my life. I mean one can have friends and family, but as you get older you begin to realize that there's no real substitute for a significant other. When you leave your family and at night when your friends go home to their lovers it's hard not to notice that you're going home alone to a cold bed that you'll have to do your best to warm on your own. I can't imagine feeling that way all of my life. I suppose I could distract myself with work like many other romantically lonely people do...but...

ljwwriter said:

Lately I've all but resigned myself to the very strong possibility that I might never be romantically involved. I can't even imagine that kind of closeness with another human being, although I've longed for it since early high school. All my friends have been in and out of relationships, but not me. I do fear being alone all of my life. I mean one can have friends and family, but as you get older you begin to realize that there's no real substitute for a significant other. When you leave your family and at night when your friends go home to their lovers it's hard not to notice that you're going home alone to a cold bed that you'll have to do your best to warm on your own. I can't imagine feeling that way all of my life. I suppose I could distract myself with work like many other romantically lonely people do...but...

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Same exact boat here. I'm also distracting myself with work, and ignoring that girls exist in the first place. Strangely enough, it's helping. But the price is that I'm losing most of my charm and becoming much more robotic and iron-willed. But I'm willing to sacrifice charm if it stops depression, which is what it's doing. Anyway just pointing out you're not alone.

ljwwriter said:

I feel much the same at the moment, Red Ribbons. Congratulations to you for at least having the courage to gain that necessary experience of starting a relationship. At least now you have a base to start from, mistakes to learn from. And you already seem to know what's causing the problem. That's farther than a lot of people ever make it.
I myself---although I feel I might have some good things to offer in a relationship as a nice, sensitive girl (although somewhat troubled...lol)---have always remained stuck because of my anxiety, although I am trying to change that. It just seems like the nice guys are taken. And most guys my age are exceedingly immature. At least the ones I've met through my 2 extroverted friends. In other words, they are far too overwhelming and intimidating for me and make far too many sexual innuendos all the time, treating girls like they are sport.
I could never be with someone like that! Where are the nice nerds of the world? In hiding like me?

This is a difficult issue.... Wish I had more answers for you!

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What's funny is, most of the girls I know treat guys like we're a sport. The truth is outside of the movies and books and games, romance is a sport. Sucks, but it's the truth.

:x I just know there's more to life than this! :x I mean...not THAT much is wrong with us. It's just our brains lol: ) Most of our problem is how we perceive ourselves and how little confidence we have. That's changeable! If we show our brains whose boss it doesn't have to be permanent!!

I'm gonna sound like a cheese ball here, but...destiny. Every person deserves the happiness we long for, even if it is short lived, as relationships tend to be.
And those of you who have had romantic relationships... doesn't it make you feel better to know that someone else considered you worth their time, someone LOVED you? At one point there were qualities in you that the other person wholly accepted and admired. That should make you feel awesome even if it didn't work out in the end.

It is possible for us to have that essential piece of life which those around us appear to have! I hope!


:lol: :lol: I think the holiday spirit has infected me....I have been watching "It's a Wonderful Life". :lol: :lol:

If your shy then why does the guy need to be an excellent conversationalist, if so then a lot of males on this forum feel pretty rattled reading that, i can understand you want someone self confident etc.

i dunno what im saying...

Yo, Red...so you are 24 and have never had a relationaship that lasted more than 3 months...well, I'm older than you and I haven't had any relationships at all. I've never even kissed or touched a woman. So, you are more advanced in love than I am!

I tell you one thing though, a lot of long-term relationships suck, as you know. You know, passion dies, people cheat on each other, they wind up hating each others guts...so, your situation isn't as bad as you may think. I think it's OK to just have short flings to fill you physiological needs.

Richey. I need someone who is conversational because I can talk about intellectual things, but I have a hard time talking about meaningless things. You know? So I don't want to be hanging out with someone who talks about what they ate for dinner... I want someone who talks about, I don't know, cell regeneration or philosophies on life.. You know? lol That's what I mean by conversationalist, someone who has something to say about intelligent subjects.

Arjuna. Not all passion dies, not everyone cheats, not everyone ends up hating each other. I think that when you are with someone for a long time, they become separate, but an extension of yourself. Someone you can feel almost or even 100% comfortable around. Someone you can share your thoughts and feelings with, and not worry about them leaving you because of it. That's what a long-term relationship means to me. Along with 10,000 other things (but that would take too long to explain, I think you get the gist of it though). So, short-term flings aren't going to cut it from an emotional standpoint. There are some things that can only be attained through long-term relationships.

Heh I cannot do small talk at all, but love intellectual and as-heavy/deep-as-possible discussion to no end.

And spectator, I can totally see what you mean on the iron will thing seeing as it seemingly fills the place of charm when it becomes unused, its either that or the day rolling into another day depression cycle. Almost as if I block emotion out due to lack of there of. Bitterness I suppose.

Red I share your take on long term relationship. And have you thought about influence? Some of these things you are looking for can be 'built apon' so to speak, if the partner is willing.

I see myself as conflicted and too casually serious to even consider a relationship. (if that even makes sense).

(Ugh I can barely put my thoughts into words, so sorry for any inconsistances)

Yes I realise your post was directed at RedRibbons and yes this is Way off-topic but is it possible to have too much B-cells? And how drastic is the resistance change to illness due to having loads more B-cells ect? I know next to nothing about it (or at least, cannot remember any I have learned in the past).

lol, cute, zero. :wink:

Well, you are 24. So you have approx. 6-7 years to be picky before you start to deteriorate.

btw, "hot guys" probably don't care as long as you are average or above in looks. They have the greatest fucking life. :evil: :evil: :evil:

I can relate to this thread too..

SocialRetahd said:

Well, you are 24. So you have approx. 6-7 years to be picky before you start to deteriorate.

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Oh gosh, how sexist!! I know some gorgeous 40+ or 50-year old women and older!! And some couples meet and marry at 70+ or so!!

btw, "hot guys" probably don't care as long as you are average or above in looks. They have the greatest ****ing life. :evil: :evil: :evil:

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Huh?? Someone sounds bitter...
Some 'hot' guys can be shy or 'too shy' too... And may have all sorts of other problems too.. I don't know of any singular 'hot' guy or couple that wouldn't have at least some problems in life..
And would you want to spend a life with someone who would just 'not care'? huh!! (or only be interested in 'good looks'?? That's why so many divorces around 40 or 50 happen, and trophy wives get traded for younger models...??!!)

ugh

You're at least capable attracting some one..