Your nastiest experiences

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I swear, your posts make my heart bleed. you're so sweet.

Er, I know I've had quite a few bad experiences, but I think I've largely blocked them out. Memories come back as occasional prickles. And when I say prickles, I actually flinch when they cross my mind. I can't think of 'the worst' at the mo, but they usually involve not talking to someone I want to talk to, and who wants to talk to me. and then trashing my room in the heat of self-loathing. ahhhh happy days.

No bad events have happened to me as a result of SAD, it's just the small stuff that eats away at me I guess. One time though I saw this old friend at this pizza place with tattoos and stuff, looking all cool, hanging out with three girls, THREE, and I was with my dad. After exchanging some awkward small talk, I just sat at the other table and didn't say anything, and I felt like after I left, there were all talking about me. It was pretty embarrassing, and I felt like crap afterwards. That's the worst I can think of.

ya its the little things that add up and affect us most. If something bad happens it seems to be forgotten and one day you will suddenly think of it.

Oh i feel for you there, but hang on! why cant you just exist and be yourself quiet or loud without so many other arrogant people making it look like you've embarrassed yourself because really they were the ones that made a big deal out of it rather then trying to see the funny side of it or to at least help you by putting a positive spin on the night they make it awkward, and that is not your fault but their response made you react and you cried ..again you dont need to blame yourself as the other girl was in the same boat ...

you have to see that youve done nothing wrong, youve showed up and thats enough, the chatting thing comes with repeated exposure and just general practice but dont let others bring you down in the meantime

Me? yeh ive had similar experiances, ive sat down at tables with people at parties and they've actually bluntly said to me "do i have some sort of social phobia"? in front of everybody, my sister said it to me and my cousin his friends and all the family and other poeple were there, i just said that i try my best but that because of the bullying i recieved at high school and the environment of high school that it had affected me in social environments around certain people ...and that was fine however once it is brought up like that around everyone generally the other people are aware of it and generally take a step back from me knowing that i have a problem with talking and they'll gravitate towards the "cool", more popular personalities which i completely understand, its just how nature works . ..

this is why i dont always agree that everyones should know about my issues, it doesnt always work for my benefit to be completely honest ..

most parties end up like this in some way when a "big mouth strikes again" loud type person will target me and my shyness and make a big deal out of it ..

im beginning to learn to just block any prejudices out as to me, in my shoes i dont have anything against "quiet" people, in fact i welcome loud and quiet people because i can relate to both types ..so i just see people that bring up "why dont i act this way, or that way" as people who are insecure themselves that they cant see different sides of the coin and that in essence they are trying to help me but dont have the education or ability to articulate it properly to help me in with a sense of humour but will rather make it worse becasue of their OWN social lack of experiance in communicating what they mean without it being too negative or just not helping in general, and being too dramatic and critical rather then the positive angle, its like me going up to a person with a heart condition and saying "you really need to stop eating junk food" ..its like "duh" state the obvious, "get the *u!k out of here your making it worse you eediot ...

probably presenting something in front of the class. my face will usually get real red and i stutter. then i watch everyone else get up there and nail there presentations. whatever.

Ouuuchhh. I feel for you.

The very worst thing has happened to me so far was in my fourth grade math class. I had to go to the bathroom, but we were working on something, and I didn't ask my teacher for some reason. He had to go out of the classroom for something and told us not to move. I didn't know how to get adults' attention back then, so I didn't ask to go. After he left, I started complaining to my tablemates that I really had to go. The window/door was open, and I could have just run a few yards to the bathroom, but he had said not to move and I COULD NOT disobey him. I can't disobey anyone. I was panicking. I couldn't go but I absolutely had to. I was standing up and asking my tablemates for help (I don't think I listened to what they said - one would have had to offer to go with me and potentially get in trouble, too, I think) when I wet my pants. Everyone was looking at me because they had heard me asking what I should do.

Thank god my teacher came back right then. He sent me to the nurse to change pants. At recess, some teachers sent me and my friends to do something for them, and it was Friday, so people forgot about it over the weekend, but it was still horrible at the time. It's the only time I've really cried at school.

Helyna said:

Ouuuchhh. I feel for you.

The very worst thing has happened to me so far was in my fourth grade math class. I had to go to the bathroom, but we were working on something, and I didn't ask my teacher for some reason. He had to go out of the classroom for something and told us not to move. I didn't know how to get adults' attention back then, so I didn't ask to go. After he left, I started complaining to my tablemates that I really had to go. The window/door was open, and I could have just run a few yards to the bathroom, but he had said not to move and I COULD NOT disobey him. I can't disobey anyone. I was panicking. I couldn't go but I absolutely had to. I was standing up and asking my tablemates for help (I don't think I listened to what they said - one would have had to offer to go with me and potentially get in trouble, too, I think) when I wet my pants. Everyone was looking at me because they had heard me asking what I should do.

Thank god my teacher came back right then. He sent me to the nurse to change pants. At recess, some teachers sent me and my friends to do something for them, and it was Friday, so people forgot about it over the weekend, but it was still horrible at the time. It's the only time I've really cried at school.

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omg, youve just reminded me of a time when i was in kindergarten, maybe year 1 and i was too shy to ask a teacher if i could go and well, you know the rest.

drd77 said:

probably presenting something in front of the class. my face will usually get real red and i stutter. then i watch everyone else get up there and nail there presentations. whatever.

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Oh i HATE presentations but i go to uni and have to do about one per semester. The annoying thing with me is that i have actually had one go pretty well - probably cause it was a powerpoint presentation - so everyone was focused on the screen and not me. But the next time around im nervous as hell but thinking that it could actually go well. Well after the first garbled sentance i know it was all downhill from there...for the 20 longest minutes of my life...and lets face it probably 20 of the longest minutes of my classmates lives too judging from their reactions.

So theres my first and last embarresing things i can remember - ive gotta say they still pale in comparison to toothpastekisses story though.

I make the WORST first impressions on my friends' parents. I've got many examples, but I'll just use this one:

My friend told me that he was home alone, and that I should just go in through the back door when I come over. I did, but was surprised in the hallway by his stepdad. He must've thought I was a burglar at first, but then I managed to mutter a few words about what my friend had told me. I was so embarrassed, and I still feel awkward when I visit this friend at home. For instance, I can't go to the bathroom there if his parents are home.

One time (in 8th grade English class) my teacher called on my to read the directions to an English lesson. She was sitting down in a chair on the opposite side of the room. When I read the passage she said, "Did anyone on this side of the room hear what she said? Most of the kids didn't say anything, but I guess a few shook their head 'no.' So then she made me read it again (still not loud enough). Then she said, "Stand on the top of your chair and read it." I thought she was joking so I sort of smiled/snickered, until she said, "I am serious." Alas, I had to stand up on top of my chair and read it again. I have never been so embarrassed - and I even think my fellow classmates felt for me. Afterwards she said, "That was much better."

The other experience happened last April. I had a public speaking class that caused me so much horror. I would often drink a bit before class - because that was my only hope to have any comfort. Well, for one presentation I must have drank TOO much. I remember going to the bathroom. But instead of going back inside the room after a presentation was over, I slunk down against the wall outside the classroom. I don't remember how people got to talking to me, but I remember my teacher and a male nurse (an older classmate) kneeling beside me trying to see what was wrong. The teacher asked, "Were you drinking?" And I remember their soothing voices. I just remember saying,"I don't want to do my presentation." Well, someone must have called the paramedics because I was taken to the hospital. I vaguely remember the ambulence ride (don't remember being wisked away on a stretcher really) and remember the hospital room and my family coming to visit. I wish I could say this experience was more embarrassing - but under my condition, I really wasn't feeling much pain. A little bit of a breakdown, I suppose. We only had a few more weeks left in the semester, but I did not go back to the class. Instead, I had weekly meetings alone in the teacher's office. I am surprised that I did not get in more trouble beyond a conference with the communications committee - but I have a good school record and I suppose that allowed me a chance still.

Moonie said:

One time (in 8th grade English class) my teacher called on my to read the directions to an English lesson. She was sitting down in a chair on the opposite side of the room. When I read the passage she said, "Did anyone on this side of the room hear what she said? Most of the kids didn't say anything, but I guess a few shook their head 'no.' So then she made me read it again (still not loud enough). Then she said, "Stand on the top of your chair and read it." I thought she was joking so I sort of smiled/snickered, until she said, "I am serious." Alas, I had to stand up on top of my chair and read it again. I have never been so embarrassed - and I even think my fellow classmates felt for me. Afterwards she said, "That was much better."

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See, thing is, you immediately saw that was your teacher trying to embarass or humiliate you while, in all truth, she was trying to help you out by giving you a different perspective in a metaphoric way. In reality, it is quite true that if you stand up, you will be heard and acknowledged better. No one in class made fun of you, and if you think about it, you wouldn't find any of your classmates to be humiliated if the teacher did that to them. Try to look at it in a different perspective and say "thank you, teacher, for pointing out that I wasn't speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, which was what I was aiming for."

Sacrament, that is a very nice and refreshing way to look at it. I do not hate this teacher because of it - I actually liked her, despite her eccentric behavior, lol. And after all these years, I don't regret that experience. It's life. And even at the time, I was embarrassed. But a part of me enjoyed it, I think, secretly To be seen and heard. And it makes me realize how far I have come with my shyness (even if I am still very and totally shy- I have improved somewhat!)