Worry worry worry and anticpation

Uggghh i am not olooking forward to a few hours htime. I have to meet with the other volunteers (most i have never met) and sit there and have a drink with them. I could stand the anxiety symptoms but i am afraid i will have a blushing attack wich just makes me want to die inside when it happens.

Firstly i am broke and have no money to be spending as im going away on saturday, secondly i dont want to drink becoz im afraid of my drunkeness. Last weekend had a very violent drunken rage (not going into details) and figured in need to give up the booze for a while becoz i have turned into someone who i always said i never would.

I want to get drunk befor i even go here today. I will take a xanax anyway but one (second highest strenght) doent do **** really for me anyway. I would prefer to take two or even three but i know that is not a good decision. I have already taken one xanax on mon, tues & wed...now thursay (i havde had stuff going on all week).

I dont know what to do, im so worried about all this, even though. to a 'normal' person this should be fun and is no sweat of there back.

Uggh i wish i just didnt have to go but i do and they insisted i go. Do you think it would be okay to take two xanax? What other soluntions do i have? Drink before i go...i cant do that now...so im lost

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through Hottie. What I'd personally do is run the whole thing through my head, rehearsing what I'll say and what kind of things I'll have to do. I don't know about you but it helps me keep focused and at the very least have an idea of what I'll do when put on the spot. I hope you end up enjoying yourself, and look back on the occasion favorably. All the best

Well im finished getting ready, but i will never be ready for whats coming! Getting some food now and then im good to go...well, not really 'good' to go but you know what i mean!

Wish me luck...

Once you will be there, you get some pressure off, dont worry. You will manage fine Hottie.

I think you should pull yourself together! Get some rest and stop worrying, the more you worry about it the more stressful it'll get. Just lighten up go have a walk think this through soundly, and realize that you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Dosing yourself on too much pills is inadvisable, don't even think about it. Calm yourself and just ride with the storm, I'm sure everything is going to work out for you.

Good luck take it easy