Who would you date?
- Thread starter eka82
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Secret_Smile
Well-known member
It doesn't really matter I suppose. You can't help who you fall for. But If you were to go out with someone with SA on the plus both of you will have some understanding of how you both feel and can maybe even try to help eachother in trying to overcome it.
Someday
Member
I have never dated someone with SA. And I never told anyone I had SA because I never knew the name for it. So it's hard to say if I'd feel comfortable dating someone who has SA. In some ways I think I'd feel uncomfortable. But yet agian maybe not. So yeah if the opportunity arose to date someone with sa I would. At least you'd have each other instead of being all alone.
wacomtablet
Member
i have never dated anyone, and know that i never will.
spacecadet
Member
never say never
Its hard to tell who you'd date you have to meet all kinds and sometimes you may be suprised by the type you go for. I'm very choosey anyway myself but I would go out with some one who I clicked with SA or no SA. I think its true you can't help who you fall for
Its hard to tell who you'd date you have to meet all kinds and sometimes you may be suprised by the type you go for. I'm very choosey anyway myself but I would go out with some one who I clicked with SA or no SA. I think its true you can't help who you fall for
Anonymous
Well-known member
Well I've been in both situations.
Honestly, being in the relationship with a fellow sufferer is far more comfortable and rewarding than being in a relationship with a frustrated "normal" person.
Instead of feeling the constant pressure to fit into a "normal" relationship, being unhappy, and not having a truly understanding partner, I feel nothing but comfort and support which in turn, allows us both to explore things we normally may not have. I feel stronger when we're together.
Honestly, being in the relationship with a fellow sufferer is far more comfortable and rewarding than being in a relationship with a frustrated "normal" person.
Instead of feeling the constant pressure to fit into a "normal" relationship, being unhappy, and not having a truly understanding partner, I feel nothing but comfort and support which in turn, allows us both to explore things we normally may not have. I feel stronger when we're together.
Anonymous
Well-known member
I'd rather date someone with SA, or someone who at least had a really good understanding of what it is like.
Maybe that's because I've have quite a few "normal" people in my life try to force me into doing things I didn't want to do. I have two brothers who are totally clueless what it's like to suffer from SA. In fact, one of my brother's once said, "Just get over it". WTF?
Maybe that's because I've have quite a few "normal" people in my life try to force me into doing things I didn't want to do. I have two brothers who are totally clueless what it's like to suffer from SA. In fact, one of my brother's once said, "Just get over it". WTF?
Crimefish
Well-known member
Well, another person with SA would understand me better, but we'd both become hermits...
A "normal" would maybe make me more confident... if I was thinking about him the whole time I was out, I wouldn't be worrying about what everyone else thought.
It'd be nice to find a happy medium, though... someone who made me more confident AND understood my problems.
A "normal" would maybe make me more confident... if I was thinking about him the whole time I was out, I wouldn't be worrying about what everyone else thought.
It'd be nice to find a happy medium, though... someone who made me more confident AND understood my problems.
spacecadetglowuk
Active member
Re: never say never
I agree completely, I have been choosey all my life , my last GF had SA but it was not a good relationship, as our joint SA made us more agorophobic, not that that would apply to every SA relationship, I know a few that have worked really well.
Good name BTW space
spacecadet said:
I agree completely, I have been choosey all my life , my last GF had SA but it was not a good relationship, as our joint SA made us more agorophobic, not that that would apply to every SA relationship, I know a few that have worked really well.
Good name BTW space
Ladystardust
Active member
While I can understand that some would want to date others with sp only I do not think that for myself is a good idea. This is because depending on how strong the sp some people would find it difficult to venture into the outside world at all. I know that in order to get over sp I have to get out there no matter how frightend I feel. So I think in my situation It would be better for me to be with someone who does not have sp. This is not to say I would not befriend someone with sp or even try to help them do what I am attempting to do. I just feel to surround myself with sp people only would make things worse for me.
Anonymous
Well-known member
I've been writing emails to someone I met on the internet for four years, and concluded recently that we both had social phobia, and we didnt know because weve never met. I was recently diagnosed with social phobia and placed on Paxil. i've had it my whoel life but could never describe it until recently, now that I'm already 25 years old and have suffered the disorder my whole life. I personally would like to meet my friend, but this hard to do.
Anonymous
Well-known member
have had this problem all my life and I am losing hope at ever having a normal relationship. I am 30 now, and I have made improvements + I am on paxil which helps to an extent, but still don't have the courage to approach a woman, and let's face it females are conditioned by society and maybe partially biologically predispositioned to want to be approached first. All my ex's have met me through other friends or aquaintances. At this point in my life I have attempted to make friends with females in hopes of having good friends and maybe developing romanitic relationships. If romance doesn't develope then that's fine, because at least I would have a good friend, but, it's like a broken record, most girls that I approach think I am a complete wierdo (shy men are creepy- as labeled by movies like one hour photo, and shy girls are demur, cute, and can be brought out of it) because of the blushing and difficulty speaking, especially in public. It's a broken record, women want an assertive and confident man. I think the thing that keeps me from completely giving up on life is the hope of accomplished in the acedemic field and later in my career (which has been hard enough as it is).
axrw
New member
I haven't had a lot of experience with relationships (shocking, I know :wink: ), but I don't think I would care either way. I would just want someone who is understanding about it. Someone above said it, I wouldn't want to feel pressured to stop being shy "right now." If that makes any sense.
countrybumpkin
Active member
I wonder if dating someone with SA would give you more strength to beat your own SA because sometimes if someone really needs your help , you can put your weakness aside for long enough to help them. Does that make sense? Maybe that's just me wanting to help people ?
GettingThere
Well-known member
I've had plenty of relationships all of which were with people who did not have SP. While I had some special times in those relationships, I think that I would much prefer to date someone else with the problem because I don't think that non SP's really know what it is like no matter how much you try to explain and being with someone who also has SP would certainly make planning activities a lot easier (because you would both feel the same about life's situations).
LittleMissScareAll
Well-known member
For me it doesn't really matter. Actually I've never dated anyone with social anxiety before, but the guy I like/am sort of going out with now is really shy and I kinda like that about him...I'm so used to going out with guys who are talkative and outgoing, which is the opposite of me, so it's nice to have found someone who has quite a bit in common with me.