Where to go on Friday night

Okay, so, (very) hypothetically and trying to think positively for five minutes... Friday and the weekend is coming around again. Where should I go to, well, meet girls/a girl? Sorry if that sounds a bit nasty. I mean it in a nice way, I'm not talking about a one night stand or anything. A pub? A night club? Do people meet like that?

To go to anywhere with any kind of life I have to go about 20 miles away, so I have to have some idea of where I'm going if I do it.

Thanks for any ideas.

Did it not work out with that one girl you had mentioned in an earlier post?

I wouldn't go to a club, just to meet a girl, cause most girls don't go out to meet someone. I had succes in a club once, but that was because she came to me. lol
If you are going with friends then, the pub is probably the best place, cause if you're there all night, you can build up the courage to go over and chat to a girl after you had a few drinks. I haven't got a clue what you would say though! lol
but if you just go out to enjoy yourself, girls will see that and my be more likely to approach you.

Good luck on the girl hunting haha

hbanana11 said:

Did it not work out with that one girl you had mentioned in an earlier post?

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I was waiting for someone to ask that! I still want to be with her. I think about her every day. But she already has someone else... we have nothing in common other than the basic stuff... what if it's all just a crush and because I don't meet anyone else... am I serious about it... whould it even be fair on her... maybe I should just let it go...

I've not given up but there's not much more that I can do other than ask the things people said. And I've done that. In fact I am going to talk to someone else who knows us both and is good friends with her. But you can't make someone want you can you

I know it seems like I've forgotten her but I've really not. But I need to get doing something.

footballfan said:

I wouldn't go to a club, just to meet a girl, cause most girls don't go out to meet someone. I had succes in a club once, but that was because she came to me. lol
If you are going with friends then, the pub is probably the best place, cause if you're there all night, you can build up the courage to go over and chat to a girl after you had a few drinks. I haven't got a clue what you would say though! lol
but if you just go out to enjoy yourself, girls will see that and my be more likely to approach you.

Good luck on the girl hunting haha

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I'm not going with friends! :lol: I'm used to being on my own, and I'd rather try it like that unless you think that's a really bad idea. Anyway I'd need to find some friends first if I was going to go with any... lol... sigh.

Yeah it's just difficult because as I live fairly far away, if I do ever try anything other than a pub, I need to plan it a lot more and it's not like I can try a different place every night.

Oh and I'd be on top of the world if someone came up to me. I guess I can imagine that but they'd run away as fast as they could as soon as I open my mouth and my horrible childish voice comes out!

Nah it's not a bad idea to go out alone. As long as your going out, you're doing good. I just don't think going to a club to find girls is a great idea though, cause if it don't happen, then you get let down.
where do you live? are you sure you don't have any friends at all? I used to feel the same, but it was just that when they called me up, I would ignore thier calls, and they eventually gave up. I'm still kind of the same now, but I just pick up the phone more now! lol
add me on msn sometime, and we can chat, my addess is [email protected]

I can't think of anywhere else to go, though I know that there are probably going to be lots of obvious places.

No, I'm afraid that I don't have anyone. I've never even had anyone other than family call me on my mobile, in fact the last time I had a 'friend', the kids didn't have them!

Anyway, I think I'm better on my own for now. With other people, it seems that any confidence I have is drained, and I feel like I have to play up to them. I only feel free on my own.

I'm in the UK so it might be a bit difficult but I'll add you, thanks

cool.........so have you decided where you're going yet?

I don't know! Any other ideas of places to go or should I stick with a pub?

yeah go to the pub, maybe a pub that has karaoke, so you can do some singing, when you're drunk! lol
you might get a record deal! haha

I think I'd need plenty of drink to be doing karaoke :lol:

Sorry I haven't got back to you. Next week the young lady I have been talking about is leaving, and it will probably be the last time I ever see her, so that'll be 'fun'. They're going to the pub after work and then on from there into the night. This time I'm going to to try to work it so that I can actually join in and have some kind of drink (I drive to work), and I hope it's not going to be a repeat of last time.

Anyway as I'm not used to going anywhere at all I'm going to treat that as a dip in the water and then hopefully go from there.

God I feel awful talking about women like I have but I only want to meet someone, and it seems so difficult. I mean yes there are lots of girls at work but if you don't have your lunch at the right time and all that, what can you do?

.................

But then, how can I just say hello?

I presume you're a lady, Lea?

Arse. I was getting excited there!

Edit: How did I not see that you were joking!? :lol:

aj said:

Next week the young lady I have been talking about is leaving, and it will probably be the last time I ever see her, so that'll be 'fun'. They're going to the pub after work and then on from there into the night.

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Apparently after the pub they're going to this place:
http://www.barmebournemouth.com/about.php
among others. Oh those two photos look fine, it's the others which are scary. What would I even do if I went there with them? I don't know the first thing about anything. I only just about understand that you need to pay to get in!

Talk about diving in at the deep end. I know I sound like I'm going but the chance of that is about 2/10 at the moment, if that... the pub is bad enough.

It's another world.

I am to go to the hairdresser on friday.

I'm working all day and then I have to do all this! :lol:

I have no idea what I'm going to be doing. I literally don't know if I have enough energy for more than the pub. It's so tiring. Chances are that I'll be back home an hour after leaving work. Just the thought of any of it is making me shake a little.

Kien said:

I am to go to the hairdresser on friday.

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Hey, that would normally be thrilling for me, any other evening/day off/weekend than this one I'm generally looking at how nobody is sending me messages on Facebook.

aj said:

I'm working all day and then I have to do all this! :lol:

I have no idea what I'm going to be doing. I literally don't know if I have enough energy for more than the pub. It's so tiring. Chances are that I'll be back home an hour after leaving work. Just the thought of any of it is making me shake a little.

Kien said:

I am to go to the hairdresser on friday.

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Hey, that would normally be thrilling for me, any other evening/day off/weekend than this one I'm generally looking at how nobody is sending me messages on Facebook.

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I just stumbled across this post and you remind me of myself in many ways.

I know what you mean about tiring. Sometimes I have to get up at 6am and am still expected to be 'the life and soul of the party' on a friday night. However, the reality is that being social phobic/shy is mentally draining and saps your energy.

I feel for you about potentially never seeing this girl again. I met this girl in 2002 at my old work until I left and stupidly never kept contact. She moved back to south africa and her email address and phone number changed. It wasn't until Facebook last year that I got in contact.

If you live out of town then maybe you should move! But I guess it depends whether you could afford it. Also, try to find a houseshare with some like minded people. This is something I should have done.

You could try internet dating sites like match.com. Seriously, I've met a really nice (+normal) girl last week. We've been on a couple of dates and this saturday she's coming to my flat for dinner!

As for talking to women in pubs - that takes a certain degree of balls! You need to have an idea whether they want you to talk to them, e.g. if they are alone or keep staring at you then that's an invitation to speak to them....and don't bother with cheesy lines. Just make a comment about something they are reading/wearing/holding etc

aj said:

Hey, that would normally be thrilling for me, any other evening/day off/weekend than this one I'm generally looking at how nobody is sending me messages on Facebook.

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Shall we be friends there? :3

hey aj, I went to a bar that looks exactly like that with a friend for his works party, last weekend. It can seem really intimidating at first, cause it's not like a regular pub or a club, and all the girls are gorgeous, and the men wear sharp suits.

But once the time goes on, and they all get drunk (you too) lol. You start to realise that they are just normal people like me and you......well you! lol and I think you will feel more comfortable..........I hope.

let me know how it goes.

"my boyfriends coming so i'll prob get a lift with him."

And there it is. I stupid thought that I still had a chance. I'll stay at the pub for a while to say goodbye but that'll be it. I was unlikely to do any more and now it really isn't happening. I was hoping to spend a little more time with her. It'd just be torture on top of everything else. Another time guys. Sorry.