What did I do ?!

Hello,

Lately, I have met a woman at a language Meetup, which since, I see at least once a week.

I've proposed to meet her outside of the Meetup context 3 times, she agreed every time, we then would go outside just for walking and talking about whatever that would cross our minds, but we would quickly run out of intelligent things to discuss, and this would turn into small talk, which I hate.

The first time, she told me that she felt that I was trying to chat her up, I ended up speaking my mind by telling her that I found her cute and that I was attracted by her.

This led to a second and third "date", same routine, walking and speaking, I asked her if we could hold hands while walking (I meant it as a joke, I just wanted to see her reaction, she then laughed and looked shy), except this time she invited me over to her place, we didn't do anything in particular.....for me, having intercourse is out of the question, I could have kissed her before leaving, but I felt guilty about it, so I didn't.

I realize now that dating a woman isn't as magic as I expected it.

Because I end up talking about stupid things.
Because I would kind of invest that time in a more productive way.
Because I would feel guilty of something.

I don't know if I want to carry on with this.
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I'm no dating expert but maybe it just means that you are not that much into her? I mean, you may be attracted to someone at first, but when you get to know them a little more, it just doesn't click in the romantic way. If I recall the very few times I had crushes, you don't really care if the talking is relevant or not or if there is talking at all, you're just happy to spend time with the person. If you only see her 2-3 times a week for a short period of time and you feel like you're wasting your time, I would think you are just not in love with her. At all.
 
I'm no dating expert but maybe it just means that you are not that much into her? I mean, you may be attracted to someone at first, but when you get to know them a little more, it just doesn't click in the romantic way. If I recall the very few times I had crushes, you don't really care if the talking is relevant or not or if there is talking at all, you're just happy to spend time with the person. If you only see her 2-3 times a week for a short period of time and you feel like you're wasting your time, I would think you are just not in love with her. At all.

Hello Pacific_Loner, thank you for replying.

I don't think I have feelings for her, you are right, it just boils down to being happy around her, even without talking.

I think I should stop
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
"I realize now that dating a woman isn't as magic as I expected it."


Jeezus man, don't write off dating women altogether just off one experience lol.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
You are absolutely right, I feel foolish about saying that, it certainly applies to this date though.

You seem like a nice guy. I think for most people - yes that includes us here on SPW - that it's only a matter of meeting the RIGHT person. If it's not right a relationship can be more of a battle than anything else.

But when it's right.. it can be so rewarding and make you want to give so much back to the other person. So don't give up Jungle! You deserve to find happiness :thumbup:
 
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