Treatment? Ha.

omnighost

Well-known member
For about six years now I have been through about every treatment and about every medication there is and it only seems to get worse. I have lost all faith in humanity,people think i'm weird and I can barley stand to go to the store. Anyone else have any bright ideas on what the f*ck I am supposed to do? It is a struggle to pay my bills and get through each month and nothing ever changes no matter how hard I work at it. So please feel free to throw out any ideas you might have.
 

xxaimsxx

Well-known member
I hear you. As soon as people say to me now 'get therapy' or 'go to the doctor' i just dont listen because i dont find it helps.
The only thing now really helping me is people close to me like my mum and stuff. I would rather talk to her than some therapist whos just doing their job. Have you got anyone close to you? If not then its times like these you need someone. Otherwise you go insane.
xxx
 

omnighost

Well-known member
I have been through cognitive behavioral therapy, Dialytical behavioral therapy. Meds include but are not limited to (Meaning I have a hard time remembering them all.) Seraquil, Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax, Valium, Invega, Klonipin, Risperidol, Geodone. Self used: Marijuana, Pain killers (worked the best), Mushrooms.

I have been off of all drugs (including the illegal ones) for a a few years and recently got back on Valium and Xanax.

I live in a small town in Utah where there is only one Mental Clinic, I have tried new therapists, Been sent to a Mental Rehabilition Center and have tried meditation, physical workouts and basically anything I can thing of.

Going to a new doc. is a long ways away and costly.

Now that I clarified my previous statement any other ideas?
 

NinjaLikesToast

Well-known member
Wow you have been on plenty of meds.. is it just SA that is bothering you? or do you have other things like agoraphobia and aspergers? I have never been a fan of medication, I have heard far to many stories about how it just does not help, and sometimes makes the persons health worse.

Sorry I don't have any ideas really, the best thing I have come up with for myself personally is just accepting that I might not ever be "average" in the eyes of the mainstream. I try to be as realistic as possible, it's sometimes depressing..
 

omnighost

Well-known member
No actually I don't want to punch you because I would love to go see a new doctor the problem is that I live in such a rural area that finding a new doctor is a lot of trouble and gas money.

Yes, I have problems with agoraphobia that has developed after going to college. I used to be able to function at a certain level around people but now it is as if my thoughts get stuck or I am simply not there. Kind of like an out of body experience but I don't like that term in this case.
 

Liberty

Banned
I took CBT for 2.5 months and it worked great for me. I finished it and continued to apply what I learned and I've improved a lot. I've also realized how far I fell in just the short 2 years since I acquired SA. I've been climbing back up so to speak and I'm not sure how much farther I have to go. For all I know I may be climbing sideways. I'm trusting that I'm going in the right direction though and even though I may have setbacks I always come back stronger and more determined.

Have you tried not avoiding the things that the anxiety wants you to avoid? Basically just do everything the opposite that the anxiety wants and remain positive (fight negative thoughts, don't give in to them or dwell on them and eventually it subsides and your mindset changes). This helps but does not kill the anxiety or eliminate the core belief/thought that you are unworthy and will be dissaproved of by people. At least it hasn't yet for me. I'm hoping that eventually it will.

My therapist said that first the avoidance behaviors come down, then the anxiety comes down, then the thought eventually vanishes. I hope he was right.
 

omnighost

Well-known member
Bigrob Care to elaborate on depersonalization? If it is what I am thinking then it could be true.

Yes, I have thrown myself into all the things that make me uncomfortable. I manage to attend college part time but my thoughts are never completely there. I have tried and tried and focused all my energy to being better and less afraid I have tried all the exercises, practiced them and applied them in numerous ways and still going out in public is like getting stabbed to the stomach and having my mind ripped out of my body at the same time.
 

dottie

Well-known member
omnighost, i feel you. i've tried so many things. i am at a point where i embrace my social ineptitude. eff killing myself trying to change myself just so other people will accept me. i think it is ok to surrender and stop fighting it.

people come in all different shapes and sizes with all different capabilities- this includes mentally and socially. people need to be more tolerant of our kind. it is THEY who have the problem. we are normal human beings naturally dealing with psychological reactions to our extreme unnatural surroundings and extreme unnatural social expectations. being expected to sit down, shut up, and not make a peep inside a cage every day from 8-5 is not natural. you are caged in so many ways, not just physically. you are caged by the fact you can't leave your position, you are caged in what you are allowed to wear, what you say, how you say it, how you must sit, how you relieve yourself, where you can put your things, what you can touch, everything. if you need a break you can't take one because they own you. they will tell you when you are allowed to take a break. if you do get a break it is not a real break. you are allowed to visit the bathroom for two minutes and then return to your position. the environment is not natural. electronics everywhere, bad florescent lighting, electromagnetic fields, all of this has an effect on the human body. the human body was not designed/adapted for this lifestyle and that is why it causes so much anxiety.

you are perfectly normal. it is this modern lifestyle with ridiculous expectations that is not normal. i say stop trying to fix what is not broken.
 

bigrob

Well-known member
Bigrob Care to elaborate on depersonalization? If it is what I am thinking then it could be true.

Depersonalization (or depersonalisation) is a malfunction or anomaly of the mechanism by which an individual has self-awareness. It is a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation.[1] It can be considered desirable, such as in the use of recreational drugs, but it usually refers to the severe form found in anxiety and, in the most intense cases, panic attacks. Sufferers feel they have changed, and the world has become less real, vague, dreamlike, or lacking in significance. It can be a disturbing experience, since many feel that, indeed, they are living in a "dream".

Depersonalization is a subjective experience of unreality in one's sense of self, while derealization is unreality of the outside world.

Description

Individuals who experience depersonalization feel divorced from their own personal physicality by sensing their body sensations, feelings, emotions and behaviors as not belonging to the same person or identity.[3] Often a person who has experienced depersonalization claims that life "feels like a movie" or things seem unreal or hazy. Also, a recognition of self breaks down (hence the name). Depersonalization can result in very high anxiety levels, which further increase these perceptions.[4]

One way to describe the physical manifestation of the feeling is to compare it to a film technique called the vertigo shot or a dolly zoom. In this technique, the subject of the picture stays fixed within the shot while the surrounding background is pulled away, providing a sense of vertigo or detachment. People may perceive this feeling in a cyclical manner, where the feeling is experienced back-to-back in succession.

Depersonalization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I shift from depersonalization to derealization myself. I always referred to it as either "being out of phase" with the world, but now I know what it really is.
 
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omnighost

Well-known member
Yes, I realize that social norms. are a lopsided crock of Sh*t and that people need to be more accepting but it is not going to happen anytime soon. Humanity only seems to get worse as time goes on. As for surrendering I guess it's just not in my nature. I realize people are not going to accept me it bothers me at times but not as much as what happens when I am around people. Depersonalization does seem to explain my symptoms in a better sense than agoraphobia.
How is one to overcome something that they are incapable of controlling though? If I do have depersonalization and my self awareness is malfunctioning then how am I to stop it? How is anyone to stop it? It only seems to get worse the harder I try.

How then am I suppose to live in a society that I cannot function in? How am I suppose to pay my bills or better my life if I can not work around people. I have taken the lowest possible stress jobs with the least amount of people but still I find myself struggling to maintain any sort of job.

I will admit that the idea of social interaction eludes me but how are any of us to survive in a system where we are shunned and tossed aside?
 
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