Wud a SA and SA relationship work?

candi_boo_kisses

candi_boo_kisses

Active member
Me n Kev (not sure his name on here nemore) were talking the other day.....

and what do u think would happen if 2 people with SA had a relationship?

would it work?

i kinda think it can go one of 2 ways

either it goes well they help each other get through it

or it goes the other way where they get too comfortable with each other and end up just sitting in together avoiding going out!

anddd has anyone ever met someone off this site n what happened?

im always lookin for a nice bloke 19 f uk here hahahaha jokin :p

luv candi xx
 
crazyfairyx

crazyfairyx

1
I think it could work, but I think you'd have a problem if one person was getting better and less socially anxious faster than the other, because then one would be holding back the other. Also you could have the problem of both of you not wanting to face things, like everyday tasks like shopping (obviously depending on how bad your SA is). But then again, it could be really good having someone who understands how you feel.

My boyfriend hasn't got SA, but he is a bit shy, he's been able to support me, and give me little pushes in the right direction when I've needed them. I'm not sure that personally having an SA boyfriend would be healthy for me. But I think it depends on the individual and their level of SA.

Naomi x
 
siv

siv

New member
I dated a girl who was very outgoing and being with her actually helped a little bit of my SA, but we broke it off due to different reasons other than my SA. I also dated a girl for about two month that had severe SA and it brought me down a lot. I found myself getting worse with my SA because she would never want to do anything. That was just my experience with the two situations, but everyone is individual, so it might be different for them.
 
B

B

Well-known member
It's worked before, I'd just hate to be the kid born of an SA couple.
 
Septor

Septor

Well-known member
It could work or not work.I would think it would deal more with people involved in it.It could be a very healthy relationship.

I would like to find a girl with sp it would be interresting to see how the relationship would work .lol
 
Remus

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
candi_boo_kisses said:
or it goes the other way where they get too comfortable with each other and end up just sitting in together avoiding going out!
Click to expand...

Errr yup

3 years of it :?

sticking to "normals" from now on, perhaps it works for some people, we were both at our worst at the time ,where as now I'm 100 times better
 
Septor

Septor

Well-known member
That sucks.That what i'm affraid of,if I got into a relationship like that but I still think it has to do with people involved more then any thing.It could be healthy relationship.
 
black_mamba

black_mamba

Well-known member
candi_boo_kisses said:
or it goes the other way where they get too comfortable with each other and end up just sitting in together avoiding going out!
Click to expand...

But this happens with non-SA couples too. They go out less, they see their friends less often and are even deemed anti-social because they spend too much time together (away from others).

So as long as both members of the SA-couple are willing to push themselves occasionally and work on their problems, it should become like a normal relationship. And I'm sure there are some cool benefits too, like being able to support each other and try out social exercises together, because a lot of us feel instantly less anxious when around a friend.

Totally depends on the attitudes of the people involved however, because if they both end up going through a depressive phase together and aren't willing to get better for a long time, that would be very messy.

:(
 
PhantomPod

PhantomPod

Well-known member
It could definitely go either way. I think for the most part it might workout good though. I know that it I was dating someonewith SA, or who was just really shy, I'd feel a lot more at ease and comfortable, and feel like we both truly understand eachother's situation.
 
verylonely

verylonely

Member
Hello

I am married to a very outgoing person, and I am glad of that, because he brings things into the relationship that I cannot. He has so much ambition and gets so much done and it out going, he is a great role model for our kids. I don't think it is healthy for kids to be raised by two people who have social phobia.

My husband is an extrovert and I am an introvert, he is a thinking person and I am a feeling person. We are very different and we each bring different things into the relationship, and in the end it has worked out because we compliment each other and there is a balance in the relationship.
 
nexus

nexus

Member
I was engaged to a very outgoing person...& after 5 years, he decided that he could no longer cope with me. He wanted me to be just like him & I simply couldn't. I wish I had met a person with SA. At Least he would understand, but my fiance never even tried (although he helped me a lot with other stuff)...

Actually, we broke up this morning & I don't know what's next. But I really don't think that things will work out for me. I couldn't feel more helpless. And right now, you're the only ones who can really understand.

(I know that the last paragraph of my reply is irrelevant to the subject of the topic, but I really needed to say it)
 
CatsMother

CatsMother

New member
My partner has SA as well, although to a lesser degree.

It's worked out well :D Considering the temptation to just stay in and hide, which we both get sometimes, we are managing alright.

We both play to our strenghts, he can make important phone calls whereas i can handle shopping in town. He can cope with some things that send me running for the cuboard to hide, and vice versa.

We were friends via email for quite a long time before we actually meet, so i think that this helped, we knew what each others issues were before anything started. Now we live together and are having a great time together. We try to go out a couple of times a week, even if it's just a walk in the park, to the shops or for a pint at our local. Also we both encourage each other to talk or meet with our respective friends, even if the other is feeling crap. It's imprtant for us both to have outside contacts too. That way we aren't living in each others pockets. It means alot to both of us, having some tiny bit of a social life. If neither of us put in any effort then we would end up stuck at home all day getting increasingly unhappy and isolated, albeit together.

Catsmother
 
S

scatmantom

Well-known member
do any of u lot think u suffer more after a nasty break up than a person with no SA? Are we generally more emotional and sensitive people?
 
D

DemonDayz

Well-known member
I would love to be in a relationship with someone who had SA... so long as we didn't hold each other back (Socially of course). infact... anyone here from nevada ? :p
 
Nytro

Nytro

Well-known member
I think SA + SA would work out for the best if both people had the drive to leave there present comfort state (somewhat homebound) and push each other to take more little steps to overcoming their fears. A good understanding of the sensitivty of one another may have excellent compatibility. But I dont think a -SA(pessimistic) and a +SA(optimistic) would work out very well.

But its always good to have a real good partner, in which you can both grow.
And when you get out of the hole togther, you may very well found the perfect soulmate. :D
 
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