women
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Island_chic
Well-known member
Well Im scared around guys 
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
think of it from our perspective, you're bigger than us! I used to be intimidated by large guys until i became friends with a very tall gay guy. That kind of nipped intimidation in the bud.
iamthenra
Well-known member
I had a female co-worker tell me once that I look unapproachable. She said I look angry all the time. I didn't even know I looked that way, my hunch is that my subconscious mind makes me look this way to keep others from talking to me. Especially single attractive women... I'm 40+ years old, and for me anxiety and fear has never really lightened up at all... I've tried psychiatrists, psychologists, and many different clinics including the University of Minnesota clinics... To be honest, I have not found anything that really helps with the social fear or dating fear that I have. In all honesty, it isn't the women at all. It's me, it's the fact that I am scared of what they are thinking about me. If I have my hair just right, or is it out of place? Do I have a zit or something that is gross or ugly, some snot hanging out of my nose or nose hair or ear hair that is presenting itself? Having bad breath and just being very self conscious about myself. My mind races with all these thoughts and it gets so overwhelming that I just can't even approach an attractive or single female. The only way I interact with any woman or female is if she is at the cash register and I have to at least interact with her to pay for whatever it is I am buying....
Sorry for rambling, but you are not alone in your fears....
Riptor
1
I wish I had your solution, strength, but all I can do is relate. I've gotten the "are you on drugs?" thing many times. In school I had an ironic reputation as a stoner despite never trying weed until after high school. People had no way to explain my awkwardness other than that I must have walked around ****ed up all the time, haha.
Satine
Well-known member
You say that people 'may' think you're on drugs. Have they said they do or are you just worried they do?
And if you're worried about socialising with women in particular, just try with the small stuff: imagine women are just boys with a couple of wierd lumps of fat on their chest (which might as well be ignored) and treat them accordingly.
I realise you also said you feel anxious socialising with anyone, but presumably you find it marginally easier to socialise with people of your own gender. So start there.
Practice is the key.
And if you're worried about socialising with women in particular, just try with the small stuff: imagine women are just boys with a couple of wierd lumps of fat on their chest (which might as well be ignored) and treat them accordingly.
I realise you also said you feel anxious socialising with anyone, but presumably you find it marginally easier to socialise with people of your own gender. So start there.
Practice is the key.
Skatergirl
Banned
To be honestly, I'm nervous around boys and girls..
When i see an attractive person, I become very clumsy, and i act like a silly girl..
Did people really tell you they become uncomfortable around you? Aii ::
Can you tell me more about these people who told you that?? Are they even good people? Because people who really like you won't feel that way.
I have a friend, who doesn't care if I become quiet or awkward around her, she always tells me, that it's fine... In fact, she doesn't feel uncomfortable around me, because she doesn't have the same thing as me, She feels good around me, because she thinks i'm a good person.
But it's hard for me to control it, because i'm still afraid of what she's thinking about me..
But anyways, maybe you should ask people ( i know it's hard ) how they feel around you. What they think about you, if they like you, etc.
I am asking these questions alot to people. Because i just need to know..
But it's always different then i think.
I have the most worst scenarios in my head what people are thinking, but in real, it's all just different.
But if people really are uncomfortable around you, try to talk to them, and tell them about your problems, then they can understand you better.
Because when you tell the people about your s.a, they can take care of that, and they know the reason why you act like that, and they know they don't have to be uncomfortable.
When i see an attractive person, I become very clumsy, and i act like a silly girl..
Did people really tell you they become uncomfortable around you? Aii :
: Can you tell me more about these people who told you that?? Are they even good people? Because people who really like you won't feel that way.
I have a friend, who doesn't care if I become quiet or awkward around her, she always tells me, that it's fine... In fact, she doesn't feel uncomfortable around me, because she doesn't have the same thing as me, She feels good around me, because she thinks i'm a good person.
But it's hard for me to control it, because i'm still afraid of what she's thinking about me..
But anyways, maybe you should ask people ( i know it's hard ) how they feel around you. What they think about you, if they like you, etc.
I am asking these questions alot to people. Because i just need to know..
But it's always different then i think.
I have the most worst scenarios in my head what people are thinking, but in real, it's all just different.
But if people really are uncomfortable around you, try to talk to them, and tell them about your problems, then they can understand you better.
Because when you tell the people about your s.a, they can take care of that, and they know the reason why you act like that, and they know they don't have to be uncomfortable.
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i think most all guys have at least some issues talking to girls...even the best lookin and smooth talking get rejected, and all of us have a little approach anxiety...start with eye contact thats what im doin...most of the time girls just look away, but sometimes they hold it, sometimes ill even get a smile!!
violentvalentine
Active member
^ I agree. Every single guy that I have ever had a serious relationship with is because I approached them. I still get crazy nervous if I am around them tho. I hate the feeling being sized up. Like at a job interview or something. I am not bad looking but I always think that I am compared to most people. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.