Why should men always be confident?

[Sebr3]

. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
.

See I was going to be good and stay away from this thread, until I read your pathetic little mis-guided bull crap of a comment.

What the hell do you mean women don't pay for anything?
Of course they do!? 8O

I meant in the context of relationships, I am sorry, but there are many women who still expect the guy to pay, they won't admit it, but they do.

Loads of women have jobs...they have to, just like you men.

Yeah, that's cool and I have no problem with that, but women have the option of having babies and dropping out of the workforce for certain periods of time. Men don't.

What about single mothers? They don't have a man to "pay for everything" so how the heck do you think they survive?

Generous welfare benefits provided by the government. Here in Australia, a woman can have children to multiple "bad boy/thug" fathers, and collect very generous welfare benefits. It happens - FACT. Many women have to start taking responsibility for their poor relationships choices, and stop generalising that all men are bastards, because we are not.

For God's sake people, open your eyes will you :?

They are open,wide open, and I can see the bullshit that goes on.

Some of you are so bitter about your own failures and shortcomings, and far too ignorant to admit it, that you just blame everything on everybody but yourselves to make you feel better.

None of us perfect, and who the fuck is?? Yeah I am bitter about not being able to establish relationships with women, lots of guys are, do you think I am the only one??. We are known as "love-shy" men, and a book has been written about it - go to love-shy.com, and download the free book written by Dr Brian Gilmartin. And no I don't blame everything on everybody but myself to make myself feel better. But I, and many other love-shy men do get angry when we get insulted and criticized for something that's not our fault. I have tried to ask lots of women out, but I always get rejected, because I am "too nice" (whatever that fucking means), or not good looking enough. Read the book by Dr Gilmartin, and maybe you may open your eyes about our situation.



"Oh my life is so hard, it's ok for them they have it easier"


That's one of the most pathetic posts i've ever read on this forum, and i've read a fair few. :roll:

Pathetic??, and why is that?? The difference between me and you is that I can qualify my points of view with FACTS, not emotions and feelings.

 

[coriander1992]

. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
.

See I was going to be good and stay away from this thread, until I read your pathetic little mis-guided bull crap of a comment.

What the hell do you mean women don't pay for anything?
Of course they do!? 8O

I meant in the context of relationships, I am sorry, but there are many women who still expect the guy to pay, they won't admit it, but they do.

Loads of women have jobs...they have to, just like you men.

Yeah, that's cool and I have no problem with that, but women have the option of having babies and dropping out of the workforce for certain periods of time. Men don't.

What about single mothers? They don't have a man to "pay for everything" so how the heck do you think they survive?

Generous welfare benefits provided by the government. Here in Australia, a woman can have children to multiple "bad boy/thug" fathers, and collect very generous welfare benefits. It happens - FACT. Many women have to start taking responsibility for their poor relationships choices, and stop generalising that all men are bastards, because we are not.

For God's sake people, open your eyes will you :?

They are open,wide open, and I can see the bullshit that goes on.

Some of you are so bitter about your own failures and shortcomings, and far too ignorant to admit it, that you just blame everything on everybody but yourselves to make you feel better.

None of us perfect, and who the fuck is?? Yeah I am bitter about not being able to establish relationships with women, lots of guys are, do you think I am the only one??. We are known as "love-shy" men, and a book has been written about it - go to love-shy.com, and download the free book written by Dr Brian Gilmartin. And no I don't blame everything on everybody but myself to make myself feel better. But I, and many other love-shy men do get angry when we get insulted and criticized for something that's not our fault. I have tried to ask lots of women out, but I always get rejected, because I am "too nice" (whatever that fucking means), or not good looking enough. Read the book by Dr Gilmartin, and maybe you may open your eyes about our situation.



"Oh my life is so hard, it's ok for them they have it easier"


That's one of the most pathetic posts i've ever read on this forum, and i've read a fair few. :roll:

Pathetic??, and why is that?? The difference between me and you is that I can qualify my points of view with FACTS, not emotions and feelings.

Facts? Is that what you call them. :?
I have seen no facts or proof in any of your posts, just bitterness from your own bad experiences...which, I'll add, don't neccesarily represent the major population at all.

I don't expect you to be perfect, but I don't appreciate the fact that you are in affect taring all women with the same broom just because some of them rejected you. Perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of women?
Alot of us are shallow, yes, so why not look for ones which aren't.
And also, a lot of men are shallow too...a lot of you readily admit that you value appearance over other things when looking for women.
Not all of you, but some of you.

Just try to remember that we aren't all the same, we aren't all shallow as you seem to like to make out.

 

[ghost_train]

. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
.

See I was going to be good and stay away from this thread, until I read your pathetic little mis-guided bull crap of a comment.

What the hell do you mean women don't pay for anything?
Of course they do!? 8O

Loads of women have jobs...they have to, just like you men.

What about single mothers? They don't have a man to "pay for everything" so how the heck do you think they survive?

For God's sake people, open your eyes will you :?

Some of you are so bitter about your own failures and shortcomings, and far too ignorant to admit it, that you just blame everything on everybody but yourselves to make you feel better.
"Oh my life is so hard, it's ok for them they have it easier"


That's one of the most pathetic posts i've ever read on this forum, and i've read a fair few. :roll:

ho ho ho. I'm back. let's do this

You've missed the point. I think what Sebr3 was saying was with regard to the dating process whereby, traditionally, it is the man's role to pay for everything. This is evidently something he dislikes, or at least views as an added bonus for women- relating to the point he was making.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. Though it is a very traditional approach- somewhat a courtship relic from a time when men were virtually always the main breadwinners- I think it is a case of 'playing' to a gender image/stereotype. Men play to a gender image when they act with confidence/resolution in approaching a woman.

The idea of playing to a gender image, I think, is something we all employ when it comes to that initial approach and dating- the early stages when you do not yet know very much about each other (this is working on the basis of an anonymous initial approach mind, not in the case of dating someone who had previously been a friend). Playing to a gender image is a means of making us- superficially- more attractive as we cannot/ do not want to reveal all our more intimate, personally qualities.

A relationship, on the other hand, is different- and this is why I have tried to draw a distinction. When you get to know someone well enough, these you may allow these fronts to drop, as you feel confident enough to reveal your 'true self' and all those idiosyncrasies that you may have thought a sign of inadequacy to a stranger.

holy moly. I'll now sleep for three years.

 

[Sebr3]

. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
.

See I was going to be good and stay away from this thread, until I read your pathetic little mis-guided bull crap of a comment.

What the hell do you mean women don't pay for anything?
Of course they do!? 8O

I meant in the context of relationships, I am sorry, but there are many women who still expect the guy to pay, they won't admit it, but they do.

Loads of women have jobs...they have to, just like you men.

Yeah, that's cool and I have no problem with that, but women have the option of having babies and dropping out of the workforce for certain periods of time. Men don't.

What about single mothers? They don't have a man to "pay for everything" so how the heck do you think they survive?

Generous welfare benefits provided by the government. Here in Australia, a woman can have children to multiple "bad boy/thug" fathers, and collect very generous welfare benefits. It happens - FACT. Many women have to start taking responsibility for their poor relationships choices, and stop generalising that all men are bastards, because we are not.

For God's sake people, open your eyes will you :?

They are open,wide open, and I can see the bullshit that goes on.

Some of you are so bitter about your own failures and shortcomings, and far too ignorant to admit it, that you just blame everything on everybody but yourselves to make you feel better.

None of us perfect, and who the fuck is?? Yeah I am bitter about not being able to establish relationships with women, lots of guys are, do you think I am the only one??. We are known as "love-shy" men, and a book has been written about it - go to love-shy.com, and download the free book written by Dr Brian Gilmartin. And no I don't blame everything on everybody but myself to make myself feel better. But I, and many other love-shy men do get angry when we get insulted and criticized for something that's not our fault. I have tried to ask lots of women out, but I always get rejected, because I am "too nice" (whatever that fucking means), or not good looking enough. Read the book by Dr Gilmartin, and maybe you may open your eyes about our situation.



"Oh my life is so hard, it's ok for them they have it easier"


That's one of the most pathetic posts i've ever read on this forum, and i've read a fair few. :roll:

Pathetic??, and why is that?? The difference between me and you is that I can qualify my points of view with FACTS, not emotions and feelings.

Facts? Is that what you call them. :?
I have seen no facts or proof in any of your posts, just bitterness from your own bad experiences...which, I'll add, don't neccesarily represent the major population at all.

Yes, facts is what I call them, and single mothers claiming welfare benefits don't exist?? Going by your location "Lincolnshire", I assume you are from the U.K?? Well, why don't you come to Australia and find out for yourself, if you don't believe me. Yes, I am bitter from past bad experiences, so are a lot of women, haven't you heard many women unfairly state "that all men are bastards/arseholes"

I don't expect you to be perfect, but I don't appreciate the fact that you are in affect taring all women with the same broom just because some of them rejected you. Perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of women?
Alot of us are shallow, yes, so why not look for ones which aren't.
And also, a lot of men are shallow too...a lot of you readily admit that you value appearance over other things when looking for women.
Not all of you, but some of you.

I don't like tarring all women with the same brush, just because lots of them have rejected me. But you must understand why I feel bitter,if I avoid women I get called a loser,but if I approach them and still get rejected, I still get called a loser, either way us men can't win. Can't you open your eyes as to why us love-shy guys get angry and frustrated?.

And exactly what are the right type of women?? No, I don't approach very attractive women as they are way out of my league and they would reject me anyway (as I am hardly anything to look at myself). Me personally, I value trust, and good character way above looks in a woman. If anything I'd prefer a woman who is average to moderately attractive, so no I am definitely not shallow.

Just try to remember that we aren't all the same, we aren't all shallow as you seem to like to make out.

Fair enough, but I never stated that ALL women are shallow, but a lot of them are, and I have witnessed this behavior many times.

 

[Argamemnon]

Fair enough, but I never stated that ALL women are shallow, but a lot of them are, and I have witnessed this behavior many times.

I know this is off topic, but this shallowness is especially true in western societies. I'm of Turkish origin and unfortunately many Turkish girls are becoming the same because of exposure to western culture through media. People there are rapidly becoming more materialistic and shallow, just like in the West. Once there were things like true friendship and true love in this world. I simply don't fit in this fast-paced, shallow and materialistic way of live

 

[coriander1992]

Fair enough, but I never stated that ALL women are shallow, but a lot of them are, and I have witnessed this behavior many times.

I know this is off topic, but this shallowness is especially true in western societies. I'm of Turkish origin and unfortunately many Turkish girls are becoming the same because of exposure to western culture through media. People there are rapidly becoming more materialistic and shallow, just like in the West. Once there were things like true friendship and true love in this world. I simply don't fit in this fast-paced, shallow and materialistic way of live

Me neither Argamemnon. It gets worse all the time here.

 

[celestialrecluse]

You have made some valid points, but your case is the exception not the rule. In the vast majority of cases, the male always has to initiate first contact with a woman he is interested in. Also, I am glad to hear that you paid for your first date with your "ex", sadly many women, although they won't admit it, still expect the man to pay. And since I always get rejected by women, I don't go out on dates, so I can't comment about the "stepford wives" (I don't watch soapies, they are an insult to my intelligence).

And what men don't invest much of their emotions into a relationship???,are you suggesting that men are not deep,sensitive and and don't have feelings?? Well I hate to tell you this, but men have feelings as well, we just don't express them as much as women do for fear of being labeled weak.


Again, as a woman you are the exception, not the rule, most people including most women will state that confidence is one of the main attributes that women find attractive in a man, apart from looks,money and status. But I do agree with you, that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and unfortunately some people think behaving arrogantly is being confident, when it is not. Also much of the confidence people try to project to the outside world is often fake, and not genuine.

And I stand by my comment that men shoulder much of the risks in establishing relationships with women. With some exceptions, it is the man who has to initiate contact (in most cases), and as such he effectively puts his ego on the line each time he approaches a woman he is interested in.

yeah like someone else said don't feel free to tar all of us girls with the same brush! and whats with quotation marks around Ex!?!
and here is where you insult my intelligence, the stepford wives isn't some "soapie" it's a novel.
In no way was i saying that men do not invest feelings into a relationship, i understand that men have feelings, duh...everyone does, and im sorry that the people who you have come into contact have these views and label people with feelings as weak!
But isn't there always a risk in life, how are you to know that the next person you walk up to and ask for a drink aren't gonna say no unless you do it, yes it's hard and it makes you want to give up all togehter but thats part of life, one day you are going to meet someone but in order to do that you have to keep putting your "ego" out there to get a little battered and bruised, thats what makes us predominantly stronger in the end, is it not!?

 

[de]

i dont know about the rest of you guys but i feel obliged to pay for the first date not because i have to but because im the one asking her out,id feel like a bit of a scrounger if the woman had to pay for me on the first date
how did the guy get you to pay for the date celestial recluse lol what a legend

 

[bleach]

Sebr3 is try to win sympathy points by making everyone who isn't exactly like him (all women, most men) look like shallow assholes. Not cool.

And he continually caps off his self-pitying rants with statements like 'I'm not looking for sympathy here", a dead giveaway that he is looking for sympathy," and "no I don't blame everything on everybody but myself to make myself feel better", another hint that he is doing the exact OPPOSITE.

I can qualify my points of view with FACTS, not emotions and feelings."

Wrong. You haven't. You can't.

I am sorry but there is strong anecdotal evidence to suggest that there is a large percentage of women who prefer "bad boys" over us boring nice guys, and I can speak from personal experience. "

Are you confused? A percentage is STATISTICAL evidence, not anecdotal. But you don't have statistical evidence. You just have bullshit anecdotes which prove nothing.

does the name Heather Mills ring any bells???

Does the name Marcus Brutus ring any bells? I use him as my evidence that all Italians are really vicious back stabbers!

Us nice guys/love shy guys are fucking sick to death of being demonised and shamed just because we are not a bunch of bed hopping "players/casanovas".

Amazing. "Us nice guys". Don't you feel even the slightest embarrassment for these posts? Nice guys, by my definition, do not look at the rest of the human race like complete scum (aside from a small amount that are exactly that same as they are). They don't throw around labels like "shallow" before getting to know people, either.

For that matter, a nice guy wouldn't have to self-apply that label. Because if you're being nice to other people, they're going to notice without your attempt to glorify yourself.

People haven't noticed. Wanna know why that is?

 

[celestialrecluse]

i dont know about the rest of you guys but i feel obliged to pay for the first date not because i have to but because im the one asking her out,id feel like a bit of a scrounger if the woman had to pay for me on the first date
how did the guy get you to pay for the date celestial recluse lol what a legend

lols! i asked him out so i paid, same as you, i'd have felt wierd asking him out, then expecting him to pay! i think thats kinda fair enough right! and i said if i paid for the first, he'd be paying for the second, and he did, and the third and fourth and so on.lols!

 

[jamez]

I'll keep it simple, a man should have confidence because he's a MAN.

 

[Sebr3]

Sebr3 is try to win sympathy points by making everyone who isn't exactly like him (all women, most men) look like shallow assholes. Not cool.

Since you don't know me, or have ever met me how can you can all me shallow???. What's not cool, is when insensitive pricks like you make false assumptions. I have never stated that anyone who isn't exactly like me are shallow. As individuals we are all unique and different.

And he continually caps off his self-pitying rants with statements like 'I'm not looking for sympathy here", a dead giveaway that he is looking for sympathy," and "no I don't blame everything on everybody but myself to make myself feel better", another hint that he is doing the exact OPPOSITE.

You are truly a braindead fuckwit of the highest order. No, I don't want yours or anybodies sympathy. As a man who has not had any success with women, all I ask is that people appreciate my situation and the situation that many love-shy men have. All we ask is empathy, not sympathy, there is a difference. The people who truly deserve sympathy are sick children in hospital, or poor people who live in third world countries. I work two jobs, drive a nice car,have a roof over my head, and plenty of food to eat, so no, I am asking for sympathy, I can look after myself. I only come across as bitter and angry when people make false and baseless assumptions.

I can qualify my points of view with FACTS, not emotions and feelings."

Wrong. You haven't. You can't.

With regards to what?? Are you telling me that there are not single mothers who go out and have kids to multiple fathers just so that they can claim welfare benefits???

Are you telling me that there are not women who are in mentally/or physically abusive relationships??

Are you telling me, that there aren't some women who only marry men for their money???

I am sorry but there is strong anecdotal evidence to suggest that there is a large percentage of women who prefer "bad boys" over us boring nice guys, and I can speak from personal experience. "

Are you confused? A percentage is STATISTICAL evidence, not anecdotal. But you don't have statistical evidence. You just have bullshit anecdotes which prove nothing.

No, I am not confused at all, many men and even some women will agree with me that a large percentage women are attracted to "bad boys, thugs and players". I can't give exact figures, but I have seen too many cases, to dismiss this as an isolated incident.

does the name Heather Mills ring any bells???

Does the name Marcus Brutus ring any bells? I use him as my evidence that all Italians are really vicious back stabbers!

I used Heather Mills as an example of a blatant gold digger, and let's call a spade a spade, she was after Sir Paul McCartney's money, and most people will unanimously agree with me on that.

Us nice guys/love shy guys are fucking sick to death of being demonised and shamed just because we are not a bunch of bed hopping "players/casanovas".

Amazing. "Us nice guys". Don't you feel even the slightest embarrassment for these posts? Nice guys, by my definition, do not look at the rest of the human race like complete scum (aside from a small amount that are exactly that same as they are). They don't throw around labels like "shallow" before getting to know people, either.

No, I am not embarrassed by my posts, why I should I be?? I just call things as I see them. I am just a modest down to earth guy, who doesn't pretend to be someone that I am not. And I only call those people shallow if they behave that way. Also, I don't view the rest of human race as scum, don't put words into my mouth you dickhead, I have worked and associated with every nationality,colour,religion you can care to name, and guess what in 99.99% of cases I get along with them famously.

For that matter, a nice guy wouldn't have to self-apply that label. Because if you're being nice to other people, they're going to notice without your attempt to glorify yourself.

I treat all people I meet with kindness and respect, because that's the way my parents raised to be, and I make no apologies for that. And being the quiet,shy person I am, I don't "glorify myself", once again you are being a dickhead.

People haven't noticed. Wanna know why that is?

May I ask you something?? How do you know so much about me??

People join this forum, for all types of reasons, I imagine they are seeking support, and in your eyes sympathy for whatever Social Phobia they may suffer from. In my case I just wanted to see if there were other love-shy men like me, who were shy and were reluctant to approach women due to all the rejections we have had to endure. I don't appreciate it when arrogant little fucking morons like you come here and put shit on people like me who suffer from all different types of SA. I bet you are type of person who laughs at people in wheelchairs.

Now fuck off, and crawl back under what ever rock you came from.

 

[Sebr3]

You have made some valid points, but your case is the exception not the rule. In the vast majority of cases, the male always has to initiate first contact with a woman he is interested in. Also, I am glad to hear that you paid for your first date with your "ex", sadly many women, although they won't admit it, still expect the man to pay. And since I always get rejected by women, I don't go out on dates, so I can't comment about the "stepford wives" (I don't watch soapies, they are an insult to my intelligence).

And what men don't invest much of their emotions into a relationship???,are you suggesting that men are not deep,sensitive and and don't have feelings?? Well I hate to tell you this, but men have feelings as well, we just don't express them as much as women do for fear of being labeled weak.


Again, as a woman you are the exception, not the rule, most people including most women will state that confidence is one of the main attributes that women find attractive in a man, apart from looks,money and status. But I do agree with you, that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and unfortunately some people think behaving arrogantly is being confident, when it is not. Also much of the confidence people try to project to the outside world is often fake, and not genuine.

And I stand by my comment that men shoulder much of the risks in establishing relationships with women. With some exceptions, it is the man who has to initiate contact (in most cases), and as such he effectively puts his ego on the line each time he approaches a woman he is interested in.

yeah like someone else said don't feel free to tar all of us girls with the same brush! and whats with quotation marks around Ex!?!

I don't tar all women with same brush, but you must agree that some women just like some men behave badly. With regards to placing exclamation marks around "Ex", I didn't mean it to be in a disrespectful way, I was unsure whether you meant your ex-husband or boyfriend, however that's your private business.
and here is where you insult my intelligence, the stepford wives isn't some "soapie" it's a novel.

Sorry, my mistake.
In no way was i saying that men do not invest feelings into a relationship, i understand that men have feelings, duh...everyone does, and im sorry that the people who you have come into contact have these views and label people with feelings as weak!

This is a more societal thing, men are meant to be strong, and just take adversity on the chin. But even the most confident "alpha male" has his breaking point, and can be reduced to tears as the result of a messy break up or divorce.

But isn't there always a risk in life, how are you to know that the next person you walk up to and ask for a drink aren't gonna say no unless you do it, yes it's hard and it makes you want to give up all togehter but thats part of life, one day you are going to meet someone but in order to do that you have to keep putting your "ego" out there to get a little battered and bruised, thats what makes us predominantly stronger in the end, is it not!?

Yes, and that's fair enough. And there are risks in any activity that you may engage in eg. driving a car,flying in an aircraft, crossing the road etc.

However, as many of us love-shy men have never had girlfriends, it is hard to keep trying as the constant stream of rejections, does damage your self confidence. How much rejection can a person endure??

The catch 22 situation we are in, is that if we pursue women we are labeled as sleaze bags and losers, but if we avoid women, we still get called losers. Either way we get called losers.

 

[ghost_train]

I'm procrastinating, so this'll definitely be my last post here. My final thoughts:

women are instinctively attracted to confident males: those that say they are not (and forgive me for phrasing like this) are either lying or self-deluded.

Often those males that posses qualities or characteristics misinterpreted by women as 'high end' confidence are putting up a front as means of compensation and have great character deficits elsewhere- i.e relating to virtues such as capacity for commitment.

So the issue here comes down to (1) 'the ability to attract females (approach/early stage dating)' versus (2) 'those qualities that make us good prospective partners.

The irritation of the love-shy guy arises from this observed discrepancy between (1) and (2).

I'm not saying that women are only attracted to confidence when it is this 'high end' sharade- true confidence is likewise attractive- it's just that it's not always as easy to spot.

 

[coriander1992]

I give up :roll:

 

[bleach]

women are instinctively attracted to confident males: those that say they are not (and forgive me for phrasing like this) are either lying or self-deluded.

No shit.

But realizing this does not justify the self-pity trips in this thread.

How is it "shallow" for women to be attracted to... what is attractive?

Do you want to date a woman who you think is ugly and has a personality you don't like?

NO?

Then stop holding women to a different standard. Stop blaming THEM for your failure to attract them. The misogyny from all you self-proclaimed "nice" guys is repulsive.

 

[Argamemnon]

I have no high standards at all; she doesn't have to look like a model or act sexy, which is what most men want. I prefer women who are kind and humble.

 

[bleach]

I have no high standards at all; she doesn't have to look like a model or act sexy, which is what most men want. I prefer women who are kind and humble.

So kind and humble are the traits you are attracted to.

Just like confidence is what women are attracted to.

But for some reason, their preference is shallow; yours is not.

You don't see why this is hypocritical?

 

[ghost_train]

I have no high standards at all; she doesn't have to look like a model or act sexy, which is what most men want. I prefer women who are kind and humble.

So kind and humble are the traits you are attracted to.

Just like confidence is what women are attracted to.

But for some reason, their preference is shallow; yours is not.

You don't see why this is hypocritical?

Can't stop myself.

(please regard everything I say as a generalisation)
Women are not looking for bastards.

The 'confidence' that women are attracted to (which I have contested is often not genuine) is a quality that they believe to be indicative of deeper virtues- those that they seek in a partner and mate.

When this is not realized, and the uber-confident guy holds no hidden treasures but rather turns out to be a bastard, it's a shame.

Frustration from the observer's point of view relates to the mismatch between 'the female's association of confidence and further virtues' and 'the reality of the situation'.

But this argument is all based upon slightly exaggerated views that some people have. Like you have said Bleach, there is no true dichotomy- only occasional anomolies that are exaggerated in the frustrated mind.

 

[Argamemnon]

I have no high standards at all; she doesn't have to look like a model or act sexy, which is what most men want. I prefer women who are kind and humble.

So kind and humble are the traits you are attracted to.

Just like confidence is what women are attracted to.

But for some reason, their preference is shallow; yours is not.

You don't see why this is hypocritical?

Their preference is shallow. No, I don't think I'm being hypocritical. Maybe I have different values and morals than most people.